jia en loves

[MV] FT Island - I Hope (바래)

2009-12-04T21:05:00.001+08:00

THEY ARE COMING TO SINGAPORE AND I AM GOING TO SEE THEM!!!! :D:D:D:D

2008-12-27T02:28:00.001+08:00

my new blog add

http://skittlestiddles.blogspot.com/

check it out.

:)

God Bless!

THE END

2008-09-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

Hi, just a simple way to end off this blog.
Things are better left unsaid.
If only all things have a happily ever after, im sad to say this isnt. Yup.
But def, all things work out for the good of those who love God.

If i trust you enough, you'll be informed of my new blog.

Tata! :)

2008-09-25T20:46:00.002+08:00

Moving on from the previous post,

i am glad that coursework is over,

of which i am very eager to show matthew, serene, ming, ben how my prep boards look like and thank them for supporting me all the way.

but i also dont know if i have done well enough to score an A cause a lot of work was last min and i feel i am not evaluative enough but otherwise i think i did well. Confidence is really key in making others believe in urself, its like S is so self-assured we feel she will score and E is so like worried we fear for her and all even tho their works are pretty much of the same standard. i guess it really is difficult to evaluate our own works as students but of course if u see a good work u know is sure A..

putting the academic scores/grades aside i have even more to worry for now, SOVA, econ, lit and math AND not forgetting GP i will now put my heart to excel for them. of course my mum expects 3As. i mean, with 2 sisters before me with such great examples how can i fail right? please note the sarcasm here.

i had meant to come here and type about how much i will miss my artclass and remininse the old times as did my seniors before me after coursework ended last year

but i am so not in the mood right now.

and i guess ill do so another day

OR i might delete this blog and start a new one that ___ and others i dont want to know wont read this friggin blog. WHATEVER, sometimes i just hate myself.

2008-09-25T20:44:00.002+08:00

I cant stop people i dont like to read my blog but too bad i cant, thats the lousyness of the internet to filter like ppl from reading blogs. ( i know there are blogs like lj that only allows frens)

whatever, ill put that aside, in anycase I AM DISPLEASED ____ tagged on my blog which of cause i am whatever.

tell me i am a bitch about this matter of course of which i know i am.

whatever

reading those tags really just spoils my day.

skittles tiddles

2008-09-15T23:00:00.002+08:00

hello ppl!

im like back to my cheery mood

i think it must be either cofee from this morning to the fact that i feel less stressed after entrusting everything to God and knowin he will lead the way, for As, for life. (or the fact that the time of the month is over, haha)

and concluding to face others with joy, that joy and happiness is a conscious choice ( i heard from someone on tv i think) is helpful too! i very much prefer being the happier me anyways. and i do think that having a brigher, positive outlook to life (+ relying on God) also makes accomplishin things easier.

so yay! i am 4.5/13 finished with my final artwork layout presentation. i think i will finish .5 before i sleep... its 11.15 already, omytian.

tired tired but have to work or cannot finish and have to sleep or cannot survive 8 more days! :D

#108

2008-09-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

hey guys

the #106 post issue is resolved so i thank God

i really cant take anymore stress apart from school already
lately i've already been reacting more than i should cause of stress and that really sucks cause i dont get what i really mean across or rather i get what i mean across in a neg way, which is bad.

and so i am tryin to let the joy of the Lord be my strength and press on! and try to treat everyone which a genuine spirit.

i contemplated editing #106 cause of yingling's advice but lulu also advises me being true to my self, so i decided i wil keep it. in anycase unless ive told u about it, u wont know who ___ is. So let's put the past behind us and not raise the issue again, i asked u what u would do, but now u dont have to reply to that already as i dont want ____ to read it and feel bad/worse like seriously. What happened was ____ read my blog and apologised. i do think ____ nice and i feel bad for having to resolve the matter like that. but i can think of no better method and that it really is the best for both ___ and i. i really thank God for wisdom and letting the matter resolve where it started (if im not wrong)

#107

2008-09-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

i try my best to say stuff here that wont embarrass me in future when i read it or when others like my sis or friends (potential bf (HAHA)) reads it.

but i also want to be genuine and true.

i have been contemplating, i contemplated a lot in the past, if i shuld get a secret blog and type all the offensive thoughts and vulgarities (HAHA) but i kinda dont want to have a split life/personality like that. not that its a bad thing, cus it wld kinda work like a this is an open blog for more usual stuff and the secret one for only close frens, with the juicy stuff haha. but yea i dont knw if id ever resort to that, but no for now. hence u might have seen a few codes here and there. mayb u can tag and tell me what u think about this whole thing. haha.

actly ive concluded that the web isnt a place for private thoughts at all, bloggin obviously allows others privy to ur thoughts whether u like it or not (unless u lock it) and thats why oh wells if its just inappropriate, id maybe just resume to my gd old hardy private handwritten journal.

OH i know why secret blog works better, cause typin is faster than handwritin and less tiring. HAHA. :D

#106

2008-09-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

i am blogging again!

i thought might as well since im in the mood to, maybe kinda like blogging now to repay the past months and who knows, maybe by tmr or in a few days' time id be back to my no posts mode.

which in any case if uve been reading ud know why i have a love/hate rlnship with this blog.

"yes and i am so displeased with ____ and i hope u are reading this and please dont ask others for my address, i dont want to accept anything from you, thank you. i think u might have misunderstood me but i am basically as nice as to u as to everyone else, u probably are reading too much into things."

i wonder if u ever felt like that before? how would you cope with such situations? hmm... i wonder, what would jesus do if a girl falls head over heels for him. Haha.

a short note of achievement, i did like almost 6 hrs of photoshoppin today. :D im on my way, still a long way to go. :(
GOD please replenish the strength, the joy and love in me. Amen.

post 105

2008-09-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

i have realised, as i told matthew last thursday morning over a rare breakfast meeting, that i have to realign my expectations and my abilities.

i dont think i'd ever be as acadamically inclined as my sisters
or be as good sisters and daughters they are
but i dont think i'd lose out to them in terms of success
after all success is such a huge word, and entails many a definition in it.

so if u feel u suck big time in at right there u are
think again, u probably haven found what ure best at
and pray hard to God to show you where to go

cause i believe that when i entrust my life to God, he wont allow it to crash
just as he has led to to ah and sa, despite lousier results, i say with assurance i am where he wants me to be and am where i wont trade for anything

so i will just do what i can for As with God's strength and see where he leads me to from there.

i admire those who can blog in such straight language
though at times i despise them for painting a perfect, idealised picture of themselves to the world. so when they become ministers or u know impt govt figure they wont be slammed for anything vulgar.

and yup, i dont think id ever be someone like that tho yes i can and shuld and must contrain obscenities not just here but eradicate them from my brains.

why is it so hard to be good and so easy to be bad?

Reminder, life is a test.

2008-09-13T22:19:00.008+08:00

I learnt from Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life that Life is a test.
When the people around you upsets u,
when ur ___ is a bitch
when ur ___ scolds u for laughin too loud
God is testing u to how u would respond
do u say wtf
shut up and say wtf in ur brain
or say, THANK GOD for people in my life and moulding me, making me a better person because of that

right now, i am doing all of them but i am learning to skip right to the last step and just say Thank God and move on. Life is too short to keep going back and repeating mistakes and wasting time to fight and bicker with loved ones. or even hated ones for that matter. i think life is lived better doing things that pleases God yea?

in anycase thank God that something that had meant to be a rant turned out, well good. i shuld so do that more often. haha.

in any case, i am being an absolute procrastinator right now, ive got so much to get done for art but i am not workin i am. dead. GOD can you just turn me into a machine to work and work or haha end the world before coursework and As are due OR give me a miracle.

i can dream, can i? :)

oh BOYS OVER FLOWERS FINAL ROCKS SOCKS!!!

omgosh! if u are a hana yori dango jap serial drama fan, u MUST SO GO WATCH THE MOVIE OK!~!!!!! i totally closes that fabulous story, i love. i heart.
watching with yl ytd night was so cool. we went to the cathay in slacks and we had no idea whether ppl were staring as us cause we our dressing was uncool or if we were behaving like lesbians(aiya, just arm in arm, very common what) or haha, we were too pretty. (bhb) but yea, was like self conscious at that pt, but i reckon everyone goes cathay to "eye" other ppl, so next time better dress nicer esp on weekends... we missed the last bus 7 so we had to take 14 to bedok interchange and walk home before 1 and it was scary! hahaha yl msged me before bed thank God there wasnt any flashies or rapist which haha, the coinage "flashies" instead of flashers made me laugh.

i want to watch
wall-e~

oh which also reminds me, art room has got herself (or rather ms chan got artroom) a new MAC! omgosh! its super cool, the keyboard is freakin slim and the monitor is uber cool, i heart. i think i would love a mac notebook, haha. AND, we named it Wall-e. :) awwwww, so sweet. :D

On a last note, i hope if anyone i have offended is reading this, pls dont take heart in whatever i said or the way i said that offended u. lets just be friends, life is too short to make things complicated and waste time on being upset and angry. be happy! :) in fact lately i have offended one too many a person and i am totally not happy about it. i have to admit and its not an excuse but that stress IS getting into me and i get more irritable than my usual cheerful threshold. pardon me, im still on my way, im no saint alright. cause if u think about it, neither are u. we are after all as rachel reminded me today, "mere mortals"(!)

oh wait, on a laster note, i told God id give a testimony on how he saved the day last sat morning by giving me sun at sentosa and providing ben, serene and ming. i missed the opportunity to do so today before ypm so i think i shall say it next sat. yea. but, haha my proj has so become a ypm and my frens and family affair, everyone is asking about the photos, i think on art exhibition day id have the most supporters. wahah. :D okk, maybe after Martin's cause he's doing film, even bigger scale than mine. waha.

AND THANK GOD that the photos CAN PRINT ON A1 size!!! omgosh i think i am so happy today bcause of that la!!! :D (evn tho my heart pain cause it costs $30 jsut for a test print and i kinda went thru a lot of trouble to get it printed) ms chan totally freaked me out on wed i tell you. thank god thank god thank god, im so happy. :) haha, ming's mum saw ming in the photo poster she was quite pleased i think. ;D

new skin

2008-09-12T16:23:00.000+08:00

hahaha i've got a new skin again! ;D

i prefer this, simpler and not so happy bright which is more reflective of life right now. yes.

I'm HAPPPPY~!

2008-09-12T15:28:00.002+08:00

hello guys and girls, im back! After a long, long hiatus. I hope you didnt miss me. Haha.

In anycase im in a lovely mood right now cause i finally found out how to get online using Toshiba laptop (my sis's loaning me hers, she has an extra), you just have to switch on the switch infront of the laptop! i thought it was a software issue but really, its the hardware... I didnt want to ask anyone or go online (using my other layapok laptop) cause i knew i could do it on my own! :D

Im here so post and THANK those who helped me last sat at sentosa with the photoshoot for my Art coursework, its been a long and arduous journey, 11 more days to go! :/

All thanks to Ben, Ming, Serene and Luke for coming and helping:) love u guys!

i realise i dont have the group photo on this laptop :/ so i cant post any pics. Haha, i cant post the photos of ming either cause A level stuff arent supposed to be published online before. yea. i might post them after As, if ming allows. HAHA. :D

OH YES i must THANK GOD that day was so sunshiny happy, Thank GOD for listening to my heartfelt prayers and many others whom i asked to pray. Tbank you if u prayed with me! :D

I still have tons on prepboard stuff to do, photos to edit and layout to think of.

I am coming online to download photoshop as well, couldnt load the CS3 that ernica lent me :(, heartbroken. Martin suggested downloadin the trial since coursework is due in less than 30 days anyway. haha.

i got a huge scare ytd, which still might be a real threat and concern which is the photos taken might be too small, they are 2.something, 3 to sometimes 4 and even some 1 mg files which are really small for photos (considering high megapixel esp assuming the cam takes at 10.5) and hence might not be able to blow the photos up to the size i want, A2/A1. i was really upset, depressed, devastated cause i always imgained the photos to be blown up and gorgeous looking and to imagine otherwise (small and puny) jsut breaks my heart. i was even more upset at the fact that God makes me go thru all this shit, why cant stuff jsut be smoothsailing. but after talkin to ben who says that the megapixel doesnt change, i feel better but stilll there is chance that photos still cant be blown up, i dont know, i will find out later or tmr when i send it for test printing.

but i still and continue to trust in God that whatever the situation may be it will be the best, if life dishes u lemons, make lemonade! pink lemonade. :) haha. yup aiya, life is full of shit already, whatelse cant u and i go thru right? for all i knw, the limitations might force me to come up with even better an brilliant ideas, blessings come in disguise i learnt.

i hv no photos for u guys this time round, haha.
in anycase i would like to tell u guys a bit more about me, lately a guy has been asking me out and i personally dont like that guy and i cant help but react in a negative way(of course not violently on the surface dont want to scare the guy). ming and yingling knows how i feel, muahaha and we concluded im very extreme in the way i reject guys which is, "if i dont like u i just dont like u and i want you to get that clear and stop irritating/harrassing me" but well, i know its not a sin for that guy to like me but i cant really help reacting that way. God, why are some guys so dense. Cant u just back off when u know girls dont like u? maybe some guys are desperate, not just dense. i tend and like to think that while that same guy is asking me, he is asking a million and one other person out as well. So, in future i shuld be nice and turn down guys nicely, and not be frustrated or irritated afterall it is rather flattering to know someone likes u although not really when u dont like that guy.

on the same note, i have to be careful in the way i carry myself cause i am a christian, a christian leader. so God grant me the strength to do the right things. Amen!

North Korean Mass Games

2008-08-16T12:11:00.001+08:00

I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO SAY THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN.
I wanted to say craziest shit because of all the propaganda that NK does to the ppl and make them suffer in practise all for the general's bday (wth??) but its really spectacular and makes you think what NK can really do if and when given the freedom they can be so much more.
Also, how many GOLD medals they can win in gymnastics if they are in olympics! Haha. that vid was doen in 2004 btw which is like a long time ago right. i prolly shuld check out mass games 2008 and see how much theyve progressed.

thanks rach for sharing this old news with me. Haha.

now on to my life, its pretty mundane and repetitive, its sch, art, home, sleep.

art is proving an even greater nightmare cause my work is super tedious i feel stupid for even choosing to do such a difficult project/medium but im not gonna give up, i have no alternatives im gonna make it work with God's help and divine intervention (haha) but yes, i entrust my art and my life into His hands. im gonna make it! anyways im lagging in my timeline for art so ms chan commented today worse come to worse cut down lor, meaning cut down from 4 pieces of design clothing to 3. WHICH I DONT WANT TO. i think 4 is very little already. and i want my work to be impressive but i cant compromise on quality either. SO PLEASE IF YOU READ THIS PRAY FOR ME THAT I CAN WORK FASTER AND LESS HICCUPS/MISTAKES WILL HAPPEN, minimising time and effort wastage (like today my stenciling on the design was misaligned i spent 30 min on the misaligned part and 30 min redoing it -.-)

i have to get started on prelim revision... have to force myself to study!

ok bye :)

Sumitting to God's Will

2008-08-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

I subscribe to free daily devotion from CrossWalk a christain website that matthew introduced, its very helpful. I think today's one speaks to me, i feel ive been walking in circles, struggling with the same stuff over and over again, i want to be obedient to God and follow where he leads, God, break my will. Ytd, i felt God was speaking to me thru QT in hebrews 12 that tho discipline is not pleasant at the moment, it will reap righteousness and peace. He will strengthen my feeble arms and weak knees, he will deliver me.

Today's stuff from Crosswalk devotional email!
August 13, 2008
Breaking the Will but Not the Spirit
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Submit yourselves, then, to God." (James 4:7)

Friend to Friend
Of all of the activities ten-year-old Miriam enjoyed, she loved riding her horse, Charlie, the most. Charlie had a sleek chestnut mane, well-defined muscular legs, and a fierce strong will to match. Miriam felt powerful and self-assured when controlling this massive animal -- except when he caught a glimpse of the barn. Whenever Miriam and Charlie returned from a jaunt in the woods, as soon as they got close enough for him to see the barn, he bolted homeward, forcing Miriam to hang onto the reins for dear life.

One day, Miriam's riding instructor witnessed this strong willed animal taking control of his master.

"Miriam!" she called out. "You cannot let that animal control you in that manner! Bring that horse back out of the barn this instant."

Dutifully, Miriam mounted Charlie and led him a distance away from the stalls.

"Now," the wiser, older woman instructed, "when you turn around and Charlie sees the barn and begins to run toward it, turn your reins all the way to the right. Do not let him go forward."

On cue, Miriam steered her horse toward the stalls. On cue, he began to bolt.

"Turn him! Turn him!" the instructor shouted.

Young Miriam pulled the reigns to the right as hard as she could until the horse's head was inches away from touching his right shoulder. Instead of obeying her lead, Charlie fought her with the force of a war horse. Round and round the horse and rider circled.

"Don't let go," the instructor shouted. "You must break his will!"

After ten long minutes, Charlie stopped circling, and Miriam stopped pulling him to the right.

"Now gently tap him to see if he will walk toward the barn instead of run," the instructor commanded.

Charlie did not bolt, but walked at a steady pace. Miriam had broken the horse's will and she now regained control of the beautiful animal as he submitted to his master's touch.

It is an extraordinary moment with God when we stop going in circles, yield our will to the Master, and walk at a steady pace where He leads.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, so many times, I see myself in Miriam's horse. I bolt to what is familiar rather than submit to Your lead. Help me to follow Your lead, submit to your guidance, and walk in tandem with Your pace. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen

Now It's Your Turn
Do you ever feel as if you are going in circles spiritually? Do you feel as if you are going through the same struggles repeatedly?

Charlie wasn't the only one going in circles. God had the Israelites going in circles for 40 years in the wilderness. Why? He was waiting for them to be obedient.

Hmmm. I wonder what God is telling us today.

2008-08-02T23:45:00.004+08:00

Me looking crazy with a sexy pouty birthday rachel on 23july :)

the swimsuit material i THANK GOD for. watermelon body on a hot and sunnyday anybody?

haha i love this one its the farewell postcard i made for huiping :)

my birthday bear i heart
I am lagging by 2 weeks but nonetheless i wanna thank you everyone who has made my day!
i should list here: mingmin, serene, valentia, dione, aunty meiyoke, becky, serenelau, kelina, from my class: cheryl, rachel, ian, chey, wanyi, sab, serenechoo, all you who bought and cut my brownie icecream cake with :D, joey, adeline, russ, jon, joy, shan, enos, yong, josh, for celebrating with me at church. matthew chern for the presents all the way from california. family for dinner and sisters for bag :) tanyingling for belated but pricey corrinnemay cd i heart you yldearest. hha. i hope i didnt leave anyone out.oh wayne! haha if you every read this that is. THANK YOU everyone. and of course. Thank you God. for taking care and lookin after me for all 17 yrs of my life. i love you.

On the long road called life

2008-08-02T22:53:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking,
Life is way more scary than Death

I'm not acting emo or depressed
but i dont fear Death
Infact i think Death is a beautiful thing
To be able to reunite with God
Must be the best thing on Earth (or rather an Out of the World experience, haha)

If you've been following my blog for say the past 2 years,
(since i started this one 2 years ago)
you must have read all of my empty talks
those "goals/aims"
that i have failed in so miserably
last night
i thought on my bed
how i failed myself for psle, o levels

and then i said life isnt only about academic
which is still true
but i do want to do well
i badly, desperately want to do well for a levels

today, on the way to tuition i listened to my ipod on shuffle
the 1st two songs were non-christian songs
and i thought (i often do such things) "if the next song is a christian song," i'm gonna make it for As"

and the next song WAS a christian song "We Fall Down"
which was very apt, as it goes "We fall down, we lay our crown, at your feet O Lord"
maybe its coincedence,
but boy i was glad,
it might be God telling me
He's gonna go through this with me
If i stick with him

And back to what i was thinkin on bed last night
I thought, what if i think of what might happen
a) i do well for As - i go overseas - i get really happy, ive never done well for major exams before - i will do whatever God wants me to do - even if its bible college
b) i do not so well for As - i settle for a local u - like before, i still do badly for major exams - but i will still do whatever God wants me to do - i have no choice

omg.

but you know, i badly want to be able to HAVE CHOICES.
and not BE REJECTED

so means jia en,

you gotta stop
stop wasting your time
1 month 25 days to ART COURSEWORK DEADLINE
3 weeks to PRELIMS

i feel like i wont be able to make it
but i also feel its times like this
that God is putting me through
so i can tell others that come my way
"You can do it, ive done it before"
"I Thank God, i wouldnt have done it without Him"

You know, the world is such a cruel place.
it still is.
If you dont have the certifications, ppl look down on you
even if ppl recog certs arent everything
theyll still tell you,
get one to be safe than sorry
and in this day and age
a cert isnt good enough
you gotta have the As
that count

So i dont really know how my life will turn
out

except that
i have to keep reminding myself that
RELY ON GOD
TRUST IN HIM
I'VE SURRENDERED MY LIFE TO HIM
but i still must do what i must
he gives me discipline
he gives me strength
look to him

onto some testimonies

i'm on my way to complete my 1st of 4 fashion pieces for my art coursework
at first i was really pissed
with my mum for saying "you know swimsuits are so tough, the cloth is so difficult to get, you should have consulted me first"
that was last sunday and i was crying for her saying all these useless things when i've already decided to design a swimsuit

but THANK GOD Spotlight sells the nylon lycra material that's similar to spandex and is condsidered swimsuit material.
THANK GOD! cause there wasnt much colors available, but there was the colours i needed and very very similar, infact almost perfect! this i must really really thank God

cause my mum and i went to katong odean mall, people's park and there wasnt any material suitable but Thank God i got it at Spotlight.

and then today, we worked on the test piece for the swimsuit design
and we even had spare swimsuit-material-like black cloth at home to test!

i wont say i regret doing this now because i need to bother my mum
but i thank God its working out fine, need to continue to pray so
and my mum was super happy and so am i with the test piece
thought there are minor adjustments to be done

i was looking through my secondary school art prep work
and boy
almost all of them were done at the last min
i think i am almost always a last min girl
i need to change that

the only time i can think of being academically driven and focused was for BT1 in march, was revisin with Jeanette my classmate and i did well, like CDDEU my best so far la. (BT2 was like DEEEU) and i think my j1 year was pretty ok too

and i think back i think it was because then i was focused on God, close to God but then i really fell ill after march, was down with stomach flu, lost my focus on God and all and then everything just down
hill

BT2 results was the effect of being ill, having lost time for revision and all. so now i dont just have to revise but revise BACK what i lost same for my art.

so i musnt give in to the devil to tempt me any further
i must be focused on God and work towards my academic goals

haha i wonder how many of you guys are reading until here
pardon me for being a very verbose post but its my blog my space isnt it?
haha you guys will have to grapple with my writing and pardon me if i cant be explicit cause you know, ppl read my blog, maybe its ppl like U (haha) that i cant let know who exactly im talking about (i refer to my previous posts)

so if u meet me life dont ask me about what i say here unless i tell you or if you know i consider you my close girlfren. HAHA.

OH i must comment,
i hope you guys like my new skin
and didnt get a shock and thought you came by a wrong blog
HAHA
was trying to find a happy skin to get me through As
i doubt id find any time to change until after As
and i thought the skin was rather me
and i like to remind myself that i have to "seize the moment"
cannot let waste any more time right? :)

i like to think of having a personal assistant to plan my time with me and all
but haha thats not possible la
so have to do it myself
so i tell you ah
i admire those who have the drive
the motivation to do everything they envision

i hope to become someone like that
i may be like that outside but at home, im a slacker through and through.:x

its FOP night, i am missing my grp benjamin cause i stayed home to do the swimsuit design

okbye gg to do a lit essay now
might pop up again
hope you like the new skin :D

life goes on part 2

2008-07-24T21:31:00.003+08:00

thank God that i realise now how little time left till coursework due date and have the motivation to work
it seems a little late
but the songs i hear "hold fast, help is on the way / hold fast he's coming to save that day" i trust in God
ytd daily devotion day self discipline is not so much about self-effort but relying on God's strength
and i realised how true that was
all along i fail in discipline because i try to do it my way

now, im still fearful but i trust God, i need to every step of the way

and i never expected something like that to happen
what a bad way to end my day
and i didnt even finish eating dinner
aiyo!

life goes on

2008-07-24T21:27:00.004+08:00

you can camp at the sofa
hog the tv
like you always do
im not gonna give in
no way no
ive grown up
perhaps it comes as a shock to you
but you should grow up too

you can smile
you can smirk
but i wont hide
why should i
ive made up my mind i wont i cant take things lying down
AND
contrary to your oh so selfless belief,
im not out to get you not at all alright

i dont think

2008-07-24T21:16:00.003+08:00

i dont think i will ever feel guilty for this
i dont think im in the wrong
you can cry and act the pitiful victim infront of her
and i am the big bad aggressor
OHYEA?

when i know they dont
they wont agree with u
i bet they feel the same way as i do (id like to self righteously think that way)
they simply are putting up with you
but i cant
i simply cant let it go on that way
u dont know how many times ur voice has polluted my ears
u criticising about him
and she listens rarely disagreeing

its YOU that have become an inflated balloon
face it
if u still bother to listen
u better watch that ego of urs
else when youre away

no way no one's gonna help u there
u dont u wont even have mama there
so listen up big baby

* i perhaps have to agree with BKC

i want to say

2008-07-24T21:07:00.003+08:00

i didnt miss that tone of grudging in ur voice
u blame them that u cant get what u want in life
ur achievements have nothing to do with them
but ur failures, all their fault

yea

next time, blame on me too

christians? yea? im not one? so u are and u can say fuck?

great job, in ur eyes ure the only right one

everyone else is just plain self righteous and URE NOT
welldone great job ur parents brought u up well huh?

others are just what plain stupid, nothing but a piece of shit yea?

great job, go! GO FAR AWAY DONT EVER SPEAK TO ME
NO, DONT EVER SPEAK IN FRONT OF ME, I DONT EVEN WANNA HEAR UR VOICE
that is IF YOU DONT EVER WANNA TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN

well done

u just wont grow up wont u?

Meredith Brooks- I'm a Bitch I'm a Lover

2008-07-23T00:56:00.001+08:00

I saw Vanchong listening to this song on msn and decided to see what song its like on youtube. it has a nice and catchy tune and i agree that we're all sinner and saint at once, life's a paradox.

ive been feelin really down like the ppost i did earlier, but now i feel MUCH better after talkin to natasha whom ive been wanting to call cause she hasnt been in church a long time. turns out while i did encourage her i think she has no idea how much more she encouraged me.

she told me she thinks i can make it for A levels. and i teared. its times like this that all a soul like me needs is an encouraging word. :) thanks natee even if u dont read this post, i have thanked her already :)

i was emailing matt and serene earlier on. and i previously felt upset at the both of them cause they didnt and dont give me their msn. i feel like i shuldnt blog about it now cause church ppl read but its my blog so im gg to say what i feel right. that is within my conscience. yet i feel thankful i still have them to email and pour out my feelings (albeit little) and know they will and have been praying over me. i cannot stress more than they have been bery impt brother and sister to me more than they know it and more than i know only after they leave.

i miss serene now more than ever. when i see Siemens building when i walk out of sch, when i listen to Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin, i miss her. Time flies and i cant wait for As to be over but i need and i will pick myself up for As, at least there's natee who believes i can make it for As.

Deep Shit

2008-07-23T00:01:00.002+08:00

I feel im in deep shit.

I have work due. Econ full case study answers and gp essay and more coursework stuff.
i stayed home today cause i culdnt get up this morning. lack of sleep and headache but i ended up whiling time away at home. BAD. VERY BAD.

but i dont regret, not now at least.

Still very, ok now quite upset over BT results. no motivation to start again for Prelims. i feel very un-loved. I feel like nobody will every think of me. Im feeling down. :(

And of course, i know God is just a prayer away but still i foolishly choose to ignore that fact and wallow in selfpity. Argh.

I have zero disciplince. i want to see how far i can go ignoring all responsbilities but i know i will not, i have no guts to see the results and i will wake up (metaphorically), i think. I feel like i dont mind dying now. God, help me. You're the only one now.

A poem i wrote days ago, 16 July during Econs when i got my shitty Art grades.

No fucks
Forget regrets
To God
I turn to again
He's my light
My source my hope
Without You, where will i be?
Father help me I ask
I can't do this on my own
I need you by my side
Please show me the way
The right way to you

Its cliche and lyrical but really what i felt. though ironically i still had "fuck" ringing in my head the whole week. stupid word really and the way i dealt was to wash away the word with ipod playing christian music plugged in my ear. really helps.

jiaenenenenenenenenenenenen

2008-07-20T22:44:00.004+08:00

im in a mood where i just wanna let the world past me by and i dont wanna do anything thats productive. the kinda of mood that just wanna soak in korean/jap/taiwan drama till the dawn breaks but

i cant

tmr its monday

racial harmony day

still have to worry what to wear tmr

tsk

cause ian asks the class to participate and wear something itd be fun but not now when i have nothing really ethnic (really no kiddin even for something who has so much clothes yo) to wear

well i do have but i lent Wai Cheng my SARI :D nice purple sari bought 3 years ago and have served me well, lent it to Val sometime ago, last year was it? and then now to Wai. i feel happy. i wouldnt wear it even if she didnt borrow actly... i want to wear something different but what? heeehee.

She came to my house to take and learn how to wear the sari :) ended up surfin the net, eatin dinner and watchin Batman Begins :) i love Batman (more like Christian Bales)

I had a long hard tiring week even though it was my birthday week

i feel sad just talking about it

it was the Hand In SGC week, the Get Back Shitty BT2 Results week, the Try Very Hard To Do Something About My Shitty Coursework week.

yet it was My Birthday week, Dark Knight week

what can i say?

but only that the World sucks you in so deep you forget hell over what God is, where he is (right there in my heart) but yea, whatever happened to my promises, my commitment, to give and surrender my life wholly into His Hands.

Rather it became "God, why didnt you give me the results i deserved?" "Why do i feel un-loved" and all that whys about Me, Myself and I.

Thats why going to church is so essential. so immerse ourselves into the sweet incense praises of his people, worshipping, adoring him and reminding ourselves that our lives on earth are not for ourselves but for Him. For his greater purpose and plan. i truly believe it. so once again, i say this, God, take me, my fears and failures and make me, mould me, break me, to who you want me to be.

i have 2 eye candies in school, first someone i affectionately call Dinosaur cause according to friends he looks like one and it suits me find cause i like Dinosaurs, i have a family of 3 beside my bed each night, a Papa green dino, a baby pink dino and a brudder purple dino. i love them! next time take pics to show u all. i like him cause i used to think he looks cool carrying this vintage lookin sling bag, very my kind of school boy look with a bit of that heck care attitude. the most "bad boy
" amongst all the guys ive ever fancied actly. (which is NOT very bad boy actly)

but what i want to say or more importantly i wanna talk about my eye candy no 2. cause why Dinosaur doesnt ever look at me, we have never had eye contact, last week, i had eye contact with eye candy no 2 ( i haven had a pet name for him yet!) for like 3 times, 2 times on friday alone! i only started to eye candy him because we started (somehow, i cant remember) to have like eye stares. id like try to see how long he'd take to look away when i stare at him (usually ppl will cause they shy) and that was some 2 months ago i think. but now, when i see him i turn shy and just look away. but last friday i meet him at the most unexpected moments. like buying milo and voila he's right infront of me in the queue. then when i was taking a walk with rachel, he was right infront of us when we had to stop for a conversation witn Mr Soh, i was so shy. 0.o and then when i was walkin home with yingling, he was there at the gallery with his frien, i swear he saw me and when i was going to board 26, he walked past me and we were both like surprised to see each other.

i dont think this eye candy thing is gg to lead to anywhere, but itd be fun to make friends with him i think.

anyways i have so much interest for these funny seeming useless vain things i should really ought to put more effort in godly things.

like today, we had our 1st bible study with aunty meiyoke! me, jonho, ade, russ, pam, becky in one grp. i pray itd get more and more interestin and we love bs!

and also i try to keep in more contact with the gals in my grp, i have to care for them spiritually :) so means i need to be spiritually stronger too right! :)

love love

Me looking pretty

Me looking anorexic though if u see my life rest assured im well fed.

one of the sweetest birthday gift from my sister LuJia, tuna wholemeal sandwich with besttasting milo to start my day on a fresh start even tho i kinda woke up late.

Long belated picture of Serene and the sweet bouquet of Sunflower we got for her before she left!

a quick post, ITS MY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!

2008-07-17T00:08:00.002+08:00

hi, my laptop batt at 19% now so i can only make a quick post and hurry got to sleep as well...

i couldnt make an online bookin for the Dark Knight to watch with Ming tmr cause i dont have a credit card :( and my dad sleepin cant borrow from him either if i want to.

say happy birthday to me, hurry! :D

ok kinda high now.

i wanna talk about ytd. it was a sad day for me cause i did badly and i realized i did the worse for ART :( i was and still is veyr upset so upset i cried during econs. which is unusual cause i dont usually shed tear for academic unless it matters a lot to me. and Art does, its my best subject :(

onto happier stuff, i am into poetry now. though Boey Kim Cheng is a rather ocntrived poet, his poems kind of sparked me into writing some.

no time to post one i wrote, i shall do so another time.

14% of batt left.

what else is there so say?

Birthday wish?

i say 2:

1. Draw close to God and his word daily
2. Discipline to work hard for As.

simple right but requires a miracle in itself.

oh quite a lot of stuff happened today actly a rather long day. there was getting to know new fren, tungneng (sounds like my kindy tungling) and then seeing jessie yawn without covering his mouth and then nauveed badly tackled during interhse rugby. stupid boy who kicked his head can.

hm oh yes i helped cheryl write her SGC as well Yingling and sent mine to Jon gan and nauveed. i feel nice helping other ppl :D we're all in this together.

i love u! :)

part 2 of 13 july

2008-07-13T22:42:00.003+08:00

i just came home ok not just, came back not too long ago from family dinner!

we went to blue lobster just as i said we would, cause i got this discount card, we had: In order of deliciousness(i guess there's no such word, i coined it!) :D

1. Hokubee Beef - IT WAS THE BEST OMG IF YOU EVER GO THERE AGAIN MUST ORDER THAT. ok what am i sayin, i mean if we, if I ever go back again i will definitely order that and if you ever visit Blue Lobster you must, shall, will order that. it is just SO good, it is THE BEST STEAK ive ever eaten in my life, no joke, WAYYYYYY better then Jack's Place i tell you, confirm guarantee plus chop.

Why its so good:
its not bloody
its tender JUST NICE
tastes great
has apricot to taste
so delicious!

2. Lamb Rack - its my first time eating grilled lamb if im not wrong, its great! not as good as the beef in terms of taste but sitll as tender as the beef, but i you cant eat beef or dont like beef then its your best bet there! :D

3. Escargot! - omg! it was my first time eating Escargot! Exciting or not! i even have pictures to commamerate(somehow this word looks weird maybe wrong spelling) it lor! im slightly lazy to upload the picts now, will do so another time :D Well, the snail tastes um like mollusks? haha kinda like abalone actually. it was garlicky and cheesy! i liked the cheese :D we had it for free, in replacement of Oysters for first visit. Thank God cause i dont like Oysters. :D

4. Beef Cheek Lagsana(did i spell this word wrongly too?) anyways, the waitress who served this went "Beef Cheek?" and we were like "what beef cheek?" LOL! anyways the beef tasted like those u get in herbal beef soup (seriously!) but it was interesting, original, way different from those you'd get from cheesy lagsana.

5. Catch of the Day Fish - This is the only no no cause it was too dry, tasted like it was overcooked :(

Overall: the wait was like 30-35 min, but i must say it was worth the wait. it could have been avoided if we ordered more appetisers. The bill totalled $101 considering we HAD 4 for 2 discount, it was WORTH IT :D although Blue Lobster is NOT the place to go when you're really hungry cause you WONT feel full, but its the place for really good food at a reasonable price! (with the discount card!) LOL

DINNER PART 2 NEWTON CENTER

LOL! my family wasnt fully fed so down we went to Newten Circle for StingRAY *YAY* Thinks of the thick slab of chilli! :D and BUTTERCRAB (man that WAS sinful) and hokkien prawn noodle!!! ;D that totaled $55 well (not including sugarcane and coconut drinks), its not exactly cheap but considering the good taste, the company, it was worth it too! :D

Im really quite happy tonight to have spent a nice and fufilling dinner(S)! with my family. we even took pictures! that's pretty rare for my shy parents. hehe.

ok, to carry on from the last post, during YPM ming taught BS which had a quite interesting and memorable start with charade, we all acted out the "idol" we had in our lives. Mine was *ahem* INTERNET. cause i spend too much time watchin dramas blah blah blah at the expense of studies and even daily devotion *oops!*

so, really i need to daily pray for discipline, love and wisdom to overcome temptations! (which means i shuld hurry end this post and go do work LOL)

im again, really glad that Xue Li came! Benjamin needs to work to keep our newcomers! :D

after ypm, we had FREE PIZZA! :D kindly sponsored by church so that we can support HIGH PRAISE there after! Canadian 2 for 1 pizza tasted even better with the company of close friends. being well fed happy people, the youths were really enthu and HIGH for High Praise. Being high, full and happy people aside, the High Praise was really GOOD! the dancers, the singers, the lighting, it was really Good! :) made me really wanted to DANCE and SING! :D really felt proud to be a child of an awesome, wonderful God worthy of OUR HIGHEST PRAISE!

that's about all i wanna type here. STILL NOBODY TAGS? :( lol :D i guess i have to go others blog to tag first. Haha!

eh cant think of a title

2008-07-13T18:12:00.002+08:00

HellO!

i haven talked about the farewell we had for Serene.

Serene and Caleb left rather abruptly on 3July, thursday morning and Benjamin cell group had the privilege to have dinner with Serene at Shodoku (or is it Shokudo) the japanese marche like concept dining place at Raffles City! We got her a cake as well as a sunflower bouquet, had good food and prayed for her... that was the last i saw of her cause i couldnt send her off the next morning before school...

missing her when we had games for the last two saturdays~! especially the last sat (yesterday) when i was the only girl to play for Benjamin, every other girl, (that is van and alisha tham, joy, bern, shan, ming, nat, ade = 8 girls) all cannot make it... and i was having my period (ahem) so i was moody, i was also having sore throat from the non-stop eating of chocolate and what nots that i crave during my period. and some one elbowed me at the same spot on my arm twice during frisbee, not too nice to mention the person here i dont harbour grudges in fact i feel bad having to have an outburst "why you elbow me twice at the same spot somemore" and then hai htat person got subbed out of court cause the person play rather aggressively and made me frustrated, irritated, cause the person was towering over me the whole time i couldnt even have a chance to catch the frisbee -.-

hence i was feeling really miserable.

but thank God we could draw the last game we had with Barnabas altho to the reluctance of Jon and Russ, but it was 4.30! and cell was supposed to start at 5! altho we started at 5.30 and had free time after that, well thats a different matter all together. LOL. ok la, ytd was one of those days i felt i got out of the wrong side of bad and having hating my existence on earth. rare days dont worry my dears i dont usually feel like that.

today, lunch with aunty mei yoke with jon ho as well. she's a very god-centred lady, she's replacing serene as benjamin's advisor and she wants to be our mentor as well:) she invites us to go to bible study next sun after morning service. i have always wanted extra bible study, shall ask the girls to join me as well... hopefully they will be as keen as i am!

there was ldg before that... hmm nothing much to say here about ldg except that i thought it passed much faster than the other time and eeling and estella shared well, on disappointment and what to do when we as leaders feel unappreciated...

on a note of appreciation. must later go thank Aaron, although at times during the games felt that the games could have been org better, still he did a lot as well as for the BBQ the other time, he is a capable event's coordinator for bringing so much fun to YPM! :)

ok, im gg off to dinner with my family for my pre-birthday celebration :D going to BLUE LOBSTER at Frankel Avenue cause i have this discount card i bought! shall be back to tell u what it is like! :D

byebye! have fun! eat well!

Back to School

2008-07-09T19:26:00.002+08:00

its the second last term of school!

ytd we had after BT2 art prep board discussion and i was irritated and defensive because i was bombarded with suggestions on improvements which i already thought of just that i didnt have time / was lazy / too slow to do it during the june hols.

i learnt that i need to WORK you know WORK when i am free not at the last minute... i need DISCIPLINE like how jon and guo jun works. they work at art every minute they have la. thats why their prep is really substantial and no need for comments, very good and almost perfected already. sighs.

yet, YET i have been watching korean / jap dramas, (hehe) on sunday i watched 5 episodes of Bad Love, this really good sad love story involving one girl who fell in love with a married man, gets ditched (forced by circumstances, the married man still loves her) and 5 years later she falls in love with the married man's brother in law (his wife's brother) so its really a good formula for disaster. It has 20 episodes i watched another 2 yesterday so i have 13 more to go which, i think i shall continue after prelims. i dont know if i have the discipline too.

today i watched another 2 episodes of this jap show about this young working woman whos supposedly like obiang, out of love and unattractive at home, completely different from how she is at home, incidentally she stays at her manager's parent's house (the parents have migrated) and the manager who just got separated from his wife comes to stay. So the manager kinds of help her to get together with a guy in the office but i have a feeling they will like each other instead. though i would prefer her and the office guy to be together.

yet another show is absolute boyfren, zettai karashi i think, another jap show about this ideal boyfren who's a robot. total episodes 11 i watched 7.

well apparently im not crazy about these shows to watch them into the night just to complete the series. but haha i am watching and wasting my time on them yea? but its kinda relaxation for me. but i shouldnt be that relaxed cause haha i need to push myself for art. ohwells. i will will will i will work on art. 3 designs i planned to do today:)

hmm what did i want to say? i want to say that we're all whores for appearances (whores = words ian and jon uses, chim and cool to use lol) but seriously, we often judge others by how they look and though its not always wrong but superficial. sometimes we cant help being the way we are, its genetics but others like hair and physique i guess it can be helped, thats why a lot of girls slim down and all. but its not fair when it comes to height, or other unchangeable parts for that matter.

i think increasingly the issue of cosmetic surgery will not be that much of an issue anymore, just like a trip to the dentist to fix braces or clean plague, so will a double eye-lid or face lift surgery.

increasingly i think of what kind of jobs im suitable for. when i watch dramas i think of being an actress but i think its not possible because im not that attractive but then there are some unattractive artistes but i dont know how far i can go even if i become one but i think more so thats not the plan God has for me. but i think i have to be in a job that works in a team. and not arrogantly but matter-of-factly i think i will do well as some sort of a leader, maybe not major but at least a small group leader cause people and groups motivates me, not exactly competition but company. and i know i need some form of structure, deadlines to bring out the best in me, if im all alone i think i will just laze into eternity. so me. and hopefully my job will be something artistic or design related. :D

what are your opinions on plastic surgery and what kind of job do u think u will have in future? :)

the end of BT2 the start of COURSEWORK

2008-07-01T00:54:00.004+08:00

Shanmei, ming, me last friday at C&S wedding!

COURSEWORK coursing through my blood, i feel it already.
i think i wont be sleeping much after tonight until friday, its predictable. Like all the other days before coursework deadlines. except that this one, its a school deadline, not MAJOR A levels deadline.

i feel excited actually, i have a blurry image/vision of what i have in mind, i just need to WORK it out to fruition, happy.

i have not felt more satisfied with life as of now. having attended C&S wedding on fri and dinner on sun, having been a bridesmaid, having had fun with church friends, ming especially, and studying with yingling, rach, nauveed, they bring me so much fun. Having these people around in my life, i feel happy just thinking about it.

Happy also that Xue li, the girl that came to YPM only twice, accepted Christ and the 2nd time she came alone! i am so glad. i think God is working through us and others to bring MORE to YPM! i feel it already.

prayers, more needs to be said.
books, i have so much to read, i am happy. JUDE DEVERAUX. my favourite (one of) novelist of all times, READ "THE SUMMERHOUSE" if you haven! i have Caroline Isle and First Impressions (reminds Pride and Prejudice LOL) on hand, and in the midst of Mark Haddon as previously mentioned. very excited, i have savour them one by one once friday is over. yippee.

came back at 11plus today, let me express my frustration and discontent at my dad's impatience. it drives me nuts. he volunteered to pick me up from siglap i should have rejected, its so near home anyway. he didnt bring his phone, was 5 min (or prolly more than 5 min) earlier and when i came out of Starbucks, he was no where in sight. then about 6 min past 11 he calls my from NTUC fairprice OPPosite to which he says walk out to the main road, WITHOUT saying its on the opposite side so i walked all and ALMOST reached MacDonalds at Siglap centre when he horns his car and i WALKED BACK. i was mad. seriously, he has no patience to even WAIT for the stipulated timing. -.- IF he did, i wouldnt have to walk up and down, he wouldnt have to call me at NTUC we both could have got home faster.

ok you prolly dont get what the big deal is all about but i must make a mental note to get home on my own (much easier that way) unless its a familiar place a usual pick up point. aye.

anyway apart from that small discontentment i know my papa loves me. haha im not saying this out of guilt ( although there is some for having spoken a tad rudely to him "who ask you to come so early?")

what i wanted to say was that i studied with Rach today and it was fun! :D very productive actly prolly 5 times what id done at home. :) coincidentally kenneth was there reading, thats so nice, to drop by at Starbucks just to read, really!

at dinner time, we went opp kopitiam and there was this slightly deranged indian uncle, rach says he will pop by starbucks, talk to stranger and he approached rach for money. to buy beer and then rach says only if he buys water. so rach gave him $2 and he bought ricewine for $1.80, desperate for alcohol. i think that was not meant to be drunk, only meant for cooking.

i felt sad, knowing the money to give him is a temporary measure but not even helpful to him. we tried askin him why not work and he says he cant, just cant and he wouldnt ask ppl for money if he could, its "shameful" (his words). i guess he must be having some kinda sorrow tragic and or emotional story or past that he just wants to drink away and cant work in the day with all the drinkin at night... i just pray God will help him. the next time rach wont give him money but will just buy water if he does ask.

haha thats all for today, tata! :)

oh yes wish me all the best for the last art paper! 8-11am :D

me, kenneth and rach in my colourful pashima (gift from yuting! from vietnam, i love the colours!)

rachel

kenneth

the funniest ad in a long while. SOYJOY = BAR! LOL i loveeeee it!

Julie London

2008-06-30T03:45:00.001+08:00

haha random video but yea

its like 3 am and im trying to catch fated to love you episode 16 part 7 online but its not uploaded yet takes about 40 min for each part... argh so long!

today serene and caleb wedding dinner at SICC was super entertainin

thanks to John and Cooper! who were MCs and prepared the love quiz competition and silly love poems to "try" on people...

the 3 couples in the game were the newly weds, ade and jon, samson and eeling.

samson and eeling the "NUS" couple won!

Question: Which the the building in singapore that must be torn down?

Guys must guess girls answer:
Eeling: NUS! (too many stairs)
Samson: NUS

Like.. wah seh!

Another one:
Question: Which is the solar system nearest earth (or smthing like that)
Girls must guess guy's answer.

Samson: Sot Sot Star
Eeling: Sot sot star (LIKE EXACTLY CAN) and WTH is sot sot star??? must be somekind of secret code between them but anyway it was super entertaining the hilarious.. love runs deep btw them man.

Another Question:
What will you do to gain his forgiveness when he is angry?
Eeling: Say sorry (he rarely gets angry)
Samson: Say sorry (i rarely get angry)

We all suspected they used their mobiles to communicate at which Cooper promptly confiscated Samson's hp but Eeling says her hp in her bag! LOL everyone was like impressed and amused.

AND i never knew jon ho was so SO ego la, he was like (for the question about solar system)
Jon: Me, I am the Star!
Ade: my system!

-.-

and another question who is the 1st president of india?

Jon: Me, myself
Ade: he will say is himself

like what????!! super hilarious can.

and Caleb answer was even more ridiculous
Caleb: Gandhi (?!?!?!)
Serene: (in preampting caleb's answer) Abulakataboo or smthing! LOL

then Caleb had to say a poem with blanks so fill in himself to serene, a love poem obviously to which was not much of effect or expression.

serene was so gamed, she went like "caleb my scruptious little ____ "devil" " and everyone bursts into laughter... hahaha

and i got saboed to say a love poem to Isaac low. everyone was so gamed before me so i was sporting too:) lol before that he was supposed to say to calvin low. issac shuld have said the poem to me seriously i would think he can craft a better poem. im not a poet im better at prose writing, ha! in any case, i kindly agreed to prevent a homosexual relationship albeit fake within a ypm event. LOL. ok, ive not nothing against homos, they can be really nice ppl.

ive been reading mark haddon (cant really remember his name man) a new book published in 2007 apparently its not very famous.. how sad, the book is called "A Spot of Bother" and talks about a DAMN complicated family, Dad has dementia, is losing his mind, Mom is having an affair with Dad's ex colleage and Sister is going to remarry to someone whom she cant decide if she loves OR NOT just because he is nice, has money and house and willing to take care of her kid. and son is gay. (book has hetero AND homo sex parts -.-) the latter being exceeding disturbing to read, because its an entirely new concept to read in books seriously. the other time i read about was way milder in Jeannette something (armstrong i think) Art and Lies that was a crazy heavy book too.

i am very into reading now, i have found back my passion for reading and shall not abandon it again. i shall read with a new fervour man! :D

haha i talk like i have no SOVA paper on tues and no A levels in sight. whatever la. if God puts me to it, he will put me through it.

surprisingly i am so much more at ease with myself and confident of doing well, even if not academically straight As i know, my life is always in good hands. :)

i keep thinkin ill write something when i get to blogging but now i cant remember what it is already. too bad.

ciaos for now kiddos! :)

personality test

2008-06-23T13:39:00.003+08:00

i think i did this test before but i couldnt remember my answers then!

Its quite fun to do such silly tests, just take the results with a pinch of salt, like reading horoscopes. Really, why do people believe in horoscopes and zodiac, its beyond my mind. because if you really believe in it, there are gazillion people out there with the same destiny as you, i mean come on, God (or whatever higher power you believe in) is much for creative then that.

1). List in order YOU prefer: Cow, Tiger, Horse, Pig, Sheep

2). What comes to mind when you think of: Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea *Write one thing for each thing*

3). What PERSON comes to mind when you think of the color: Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green *Write one person for each color*

Go ahead, take a pen and paper and write down your asnwers.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. The results:

1). List in order YOU prefer: Cow, Tiger, Horse, Pig, Sheep
This is how you prioritize Career, Pride, Family, Money and Love.

My result was Horse, Cow, Sheep, Tiger, Pig -> Pretty true i think.

2). What comes to mind when you think of: Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea *Write one thing for each thing*
Dog represents your personality, Cat your partner's personality, Rat Your Enemies' Personality, Coffee is what you think of Sex, and Sea represents your life.

My result: Loyal, Tame, Dirty, Addictive, Calm. OMG i think Sex is addictive! LOL.

3). What PERSON comes to mind when you think of the color: Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green *Write one person for each color*

Yellow: You will never forget
Orange: True Friend
Red: Love
White: Twin Soul
Green: Remember for life

My Answers: Roxanne, Adriel, Ying Ling, Lu Jia, Jia Hui.

This one is the most inaccurate of the 3. LOL

Hope you had fun trying / reading!

In any case, I'm supposed to be mugging for BT2 that starts tmr. 2.5 months to prelims, 4 months to A levels and... i'm tired of studyin. No, kidding, actually the race kinda just started. I really thank God im in better health, kinda like best since months. i kinda feel that (whats up with all the kindas) anyways, i feel that God was putting me through a test since April when my health deteriorated. Prior to that, i was pretty close to God, like seriously, disciplined, motivated, did well for BT1 (thanks to Jeanette's help as well, my classmate whom i mugged with) but after that, after my health problems came and all, everything went down hill. and suay suay as well i didnt buy Everyday with Jesus daily devotion material for May/June and kind of lost my motivation to do daily devotion. (cause unlike Daily bread that's a new topic each day which is totally irrelevant, EDWJ is based on a theme or a book in the bible for 2 months which is good as you'll want to follow up after each day)

I have no idea why im saying all these here. Maybe giving a testimony for God. I believe its quite interesting (right?!) so i shall continue.

So during my ill health, my logical, rational side said "2 months to BT2, if i can't go school, ill study at home!" and i even drafted and printed out daily calender all the way to Novemeber to "X" out each day after i revise and to count down to BT1, Prelims, A levels.

BUDDEN, (But then) i never followed the purpose of it, yes i did axe days out regularly, but i didnt revise, hell no. i watched dramas on youtube, read manga, watched tv (oh did you know there was Lord of the Ring on channel 5 on Sunday?)
so you see, i did everything else but revise. I dont know why, lazy? not motivated?

but now i kinda see things in a different light, being very motivated by Yingling, she's so disciplined! she studies hard and revise her chem / bio topics again and again and i was like, why she can do it, why am i dont doing it? i have not excuse not to revise... so whenever i study with her, i'm gazillion times more productive. I used to think revisin with her not so good cause we'll end up talkin but if i dont, i dont revise at all at home. LOL.

Getting back to the story... miraculously i did revise in June, start revising, Thank God despite all the distractions but really, my lit and art coursework are in extremely bad shape. i dont even want to think about it. :(

i guess i cannot do everything at this point now, but i want to Thank God that he has shown me that there is life after A levels, and no matter how badly or goodly i do, my life is in his hands and that there is nothing to fear. I used to fear that As will be a repeat for Os (which was a tragedy, a disaster that i hate to be reminded of, really) but still i thank God for how things worked out, i dont think id want to be in any other JCs than SA, where i can take Art, meet all my lovely friends, really.

And now i am doing daily devotions again, although i am still biased to EDWJ there still is the beauty of Daily Bread, there are beautiful analogies once in a while, like how we are like kites and the "strings" like vows, promises, commitments and responsibilites are there for God to hold us up, if we cut them away, we will fall...

so i believe i can surmount this A level "hardship" to fly higher and higher and so can you in whatever difficult circumstance you are in! :)

Say hi to Choco, rachel's really mischievious and "challenging" dog. She's beautiful isnt she? :D

Serene and Caleb's getting married this friday, after my lit AND econs exams i have to rush over to church to "bridesmaid" oh man! i hope everything goes smoothly, i am thinking of exercising a bit this week so ill look more toned in the tube dress! ah. the dress looks like a ballerina dress which is kinda weird. LOL but nice nonetheless. i mean, whatever i wear looks good la ah. HAHA. kidding. but its BT2 i can be challenging to find time to exercise (excuse, really) ok i think ill find lujia to exercise with, the other day, friday night i think i ran around our block with her. haha.

lately i think i want to join Dance in uni, rachel says after As she wants to pick up ballet i think its a good idea i want to join her and i want to pick up either guitar or piano again... :D

ok thats all for today, ill resume econ/gp for now. oh last thing, i miss matthew, matthew chern. by the time he returns in 2 years, i think its 1.5 yrs now, i will be in Uni! its such a loong time too bad he wont be coming back for Serene and Caleb's wedding though itd be nice to meet him! :)

3rd week on June

2008-06-13T17:07:00.002+08:00

the cutest wooden sculpture lujia bought for me from her thailand mission trip!

this was done last week, sushi in her new watermelon outfit, badly stitched, i came up with the template and all, not from the doll book.

me and deary vanessa, at marine parade library on tuesday. enjoyed mos lunch with her, :) sorry dear the saints tees were too big for u :x

i cant upload the rest temporarily, ill do so the next time.

been studyin with nau and rach which is a lot of fun, nauveed is sucha a great, fantastic storyteller with SOOOO many stories to tell, we get lost a lot of times during revision in his stories. lol. not very productive but much better then alone at home. :D anyways for next week , today one infact, gota be more productive la. plan before i start and KEEP to plan, dont let stuff distract me!!

going out with yl to PP to shop for father day gift and then dinner and study.

got construction going on in my block with is damn frickin noisy.

i keep thinking about ------, nvm.

hahhaha im becoming cryptic like lujia.
in any case ppl, if u guys dont have a journal i encourage u to have one, its a good way of keeping track of your thoughts, events and life as a whole, a great investment i tell u, u can look back to see how u have matured ( or not) and research have shown that ppl who think deep are less likely to get alzheimer disease. :)

bye dear!

sexy photos

2008-06-05T00:56:00.005+08:00

Me and Gatsby sexy hot bod guy i love! HAHAHAHAHA. i told you im a celebrity!

my new doll, sushi! This is her without body yet. She looks like a sushi wrap doesnt she? :D i sewed her out of love and care and painful fingers and eyes.

Blondie with new friend, Sushi.

My glass pendent pieces from glass making workshop! inspired by France, exclamation mark, owl and sushi. Haha.

all the pieces combined! :D

lovely unglam shot of us at soup spoon. Ming, me, serene.

i look so sexy here i can die with my eye half closed, but just had to put this up here despite risk to sexual harrassment cause my ming is SOOO kawaii here dont u think? hahahaha anyway the nice background credits to Shokudo la! hahaha, they rocksthurir.

Yes, the Shokudo swipe card like Marche style at the paying counter with pretty jap umbrellas ela ela eh eh ehe he he he.

another sexy shot this time really sexy right we took this outside "Lu Lu" food shop some classy edgy cheena restaurant, its randomly but nicely cropped with a slanted polariod, i like.

anyways guys/girls if anyone reads this at all, i think u can tell i am half asleep/midnight crazy/drunklike.

i am not sober. yeaes.

This is what my sister told me:

Jiahui says:
eh u better slp early!
jiaen-teo: sleep by 12! says:
haha ok
Jiahui says:
if u want God to give u oil and keep burning midnight oil, u'll nv be able to slp
Jiahui says:
(:
Jiahui says:
bye!
jiaen-teo: sleep by 12! says:
LOLOLOLOLOL lame

well its 1. i guess i really shuld sleep in another half hr, including bible reading and prayers haha. xD

why how now?

2008-06-05T00:21:00.002+08:00

why does it all seem so simple, so deceivingly simple

but when you get down to doing it, it seems so elusive, extremely difficult and tedious.

why?

was away at Rachel's house yesterday supposed to complete compiling notes on artist Dede, compare him with Hopper than proceed to math. to which we only got to, or finished with Dede. the rest of the time, i watched CSI while she chat online trying to get someone to order Threadless shirts in. Haha!

Rachel!: Thanks for being my study partner, we must be disciplined and do as much work as we can yo? we must do our best for BT2, aim at least D for all i guess, so that for prelims, C wont be too far away. it seems like impossible now, but with 2 more weeks to go, with God's strength and determination, hopefully things will work out. i will try/ i will be more "fierce" to keep us on track alright? :D and girl, i think ure a very special and lovable friend, i enjoy the times i share with you, the dancey movements u make, the food we share/you give. :) thanks babe. if you ever come my house i will make you feel welcomed too :) i love you!

sometimes i feel, i need, i must study hard but at the same time i dont feel cause i dont want to put myself under unnecessary stress and i feel that the hols mean break time, fun time. i dont know.

why does singapore make holidays mug time? they suck and i mean MOE suck. we cant even play without guilt. yes, true, you can if you manage your time well and all that shit but its so easy to say, so tough to do.

its discipline week for me. im kinda disciplined this week, at least 14356789 times better than the weeks, even months before. so thank God. but theres so much more i need to do, especially for Courswork which i worry/fear/tear my heart/lungs/guts/hair out for. it looks so deceptively simple, really. Had consultation with Ms Chan after lunch today, she showed my J4 senior Yvonne's prep work and they looked like a piece of cake, so beautiful, so awesome, so inspiring and seemingly achievable. i felt invigorated by them. but by the time i set down to do work, it just seems impossible. my eyes refused to put my figures into proportion, i dont have the right materials or resources. and when i did get down to sew stuff, well, there was slight success but yet seemingly insignificant.

im supposed to sleep by 12, its 12.30 now cause i need to go sch by 9 (!) tmr to open artroom for art friends. ms chan will not let us have the room after she leaves on friday so we wont have access to artroom.

Lord, pls help me to achieve the most i can out of this hols, academically and have a balance mentally, physically, and psychologically.

had a great night out with Serene and Ming at Cityhall. service at Blum sucked, Serene's dress with embrioderies still have problems after one check, its her 3rd time going back only to reject it again! And the attendents were like extremely irritable! funnily, seemed like all the places we went to like Soup Spoon and later J.Co, the service was all irritable. as in the employers were all irritated. like what? hello, if anyone's irritated, it should be us right? haha. the only good place was Shodoku, the nice Japanese restaurant with Marche's concept! :D Sashimi i likee especially with WASABI. i love wasabi!

then we talked about the dresses for Serene's wedding. i suddenly realised that if we go for tube, i will show my flabby arms which is a no-no. so either i go for sleeves or diet/exercise. i will try the latter before i go for the fitting hopefully i will look nice even without sleeves :D

poor serene, wedding stuff not all done, i dont dare to ask, does she regret? would it be better if they planned for end of the year? i feel sad already, shes gg to leave in about 3 weeks time. for good, for a long time. just like how matthew left. actually i felt sad for matthew a long time before he was gg to leave cause he gave us a lot of warning time, i counted down the days till he left. the countdown for serene's starts. it sucks.

tho if i go overseas for uni, i will also be leaving in a year and more. thought that's not confirmed. i really hope that's the case. that means, study hard jiaen! %*&*)( great

and i still wanna/wanted? to do so many stuff for hols. eg meet up with ver and mj girlfrens. i shall sms her how. and also meet van. that can do during serene's wedding.

it sucks to knw theres lit and econs !!! exam on the day of serene's wedding. ?! hais. Singapore. MOE. JC. JIA EN. Why how now?

lazy muzzy

2008-05-31T11:28:00.005+08:00

hello hello!
i am able to summon energy only bcos of the coffee i had earlier on.
i slept at 9+ ytd but still felt tired and dizzy when i woke up at 9+ today. can u believe it? maybe i was a pig in my earlier life if there was sucha thing! i was supposed to meet jean, glo and tuition tcher alan at PP mosburger for tuition at 10 but cldnt make it.. what if i fainted on the bus? haha. kidding.

but yea. whats wrong with me. it could be the irritating fan at night that woke me with its wuzzing sound and i had to get up to off it or it could be the dreams the endless dreams i have that never let me rest. it could be my thoughts, my fantasies that never let me go oh wells. it could be this, it could be that, i never know. it could be that pillow that isnt high enough for my neck to give me proper rest. :(

in any case maybe i should find out whats causing me to have restless nights else how am i gg to properly study for BT2? i have no sense of urgency, i wish jeanette was still my study partner to push me :( aye

now, im studying with rachel! :) it was fun studyin at her hse on thurs, hahaha we did a lil revision, i did Econs from PPC to demand about 2/3 of that set of notes. then dinner was tomyum soup, curry, tempe! hahaha... then she even treat me to Baileys with coffee! hahaha it was my 1st time trying and i think it made me a little tired the whole of ytd.

ytd was G to the reat! :D cause we went to NUS Ng Eng Teng museum, oh mans i never knew there were such grand nicey art museums at NUS, its really a great pity there isnt like Art course in NUS. NUS! do u hear me? hurry set a school for Art students man! but anyway i wldnt have a chance to study in it cause it wldnt be set up in time for me. oh wells.

Ng Eng Teng

This is Pancake, saw it at NUS. It expresses human anguish, anxiety and stress. So bad that the poor bloke is curled up into a pancake with no seams in between his limbs.

Wealth, supposed to be with Contentment but i can't find a good shot of Contentment on the net. They used to be at Plaza Sing, then National Library then now as you see in the pic, in front of NUS cultural centre!

Ng's works are so much cuter in life man! hahaha he's a witty and humorous guy. digressing here: turns out that the guide to the museum was Martin ling's mum! i dont know him personally, he's rachel's fren, studyin in SA as well, he looks cute tho! hha. and his mum's supposedly malay but cannot tell, he doesnt look malay either!

then we went to SAM to see Alberto Giacometti's works, its a privilege to be able to see this Swiss's master's work in Singapore, the convenience of Globalisation really. He seems like this grand gentleman, i like. tho he supposedly smokes incessantly which is no good. in any case, the two artists are really prolific and they both have a keen interest in figures, esp for Giaco, he's works esp sculptures doesnt deviate from human or animals. his models doesnt change either, its always been his bro Diego or wifey Annette which i think it romantic. they both want to narrow their artistic resource/theme so they can devlve and bring their works further. maybe that's why they are famous, i guess its important to know a direction in life and bring it as far as you can!

Giaco in the background with his distinctive sculptures beside him. They are always super thin and long, the "realistic" way he sees them. That's why Giaco is almost synomyn to Existantialism in Art or that he and his works epitomises Existantialism. I dont believe in it but i think he's different and thats what makes him special.

Say his to The Dog who Giaco says he think he's the Dog. Deep right?

Say hi to Dog's Friend, Cat.

haha i am going on and on about art/artists, are u bored already? i shall stop and talk more about my life. Hah!

after SAM my legs and back were aching already, but still i had one more task to complete which was to present the dolls and cards we made for Food For Thought to the cafe/owners. they were collecting dust for most of this year lol never got down to giving them the stuff and i kinda should have made an appointment to tell them i was gg down. anyways when we got there, the guys we spoke to last year werent around :( what happened was that we agreed to make some toys and stuff for them to sell to raise funds for the org that they support, to bring village kids precious water!

then we had to go to School of Thought to find the I/C but she wasnt around and we kinda pounced/waylay her when we were walking out of the tuition center. She looks shocked and surprised. lol. i have to write her an email to explain the stuff... and request that when the stuff are all sold, to contact us and tell us how much was raised! :D

then i walked to BrasBasah, bought a nice book teaching how to sew soft toys :D and went to Art Friends to get felt! haha i met SA boys like Ronald and Zach.

hmms i have no motivation to do anything coursework/math/lit/econs. Die.

Kiss

2008-05-28T13:08:00.001+08:00

this can make me cry! ive been wanting to know who produced it, who are the cast and all... its a really great short film!

Ken Lee or Without you,Mariah Carey-improved English(subs)

2008-05-28T12:59:00.003+08:00

hahaha Ying ling introed Ken Lee to me, this is a funnier version. like Ru Hua from Taiwan man! XD

WE LIVE IN SINGAPURA the MTV version

2008-05-28T12:59:00.001+08:00

a singaporean vid introed by jia hui, i thought it very witty and really us! great job by hossan leong--> i watched him in a theatre show Dimsum Dollies, he's super versatile can act both male and female roles, damn funny!

Ebay Al Weird Yankovic

2008-05-28T12:57:00.001+08:00

Sing to the tune of "I want it that way" like what did Eugene while working with him last christmas! haha...

Weird Al Yankovic Polkarama!

2008-05-28T12:55:00.001+08:00

super good medley!

friday vs monday

2008-05-28T12:53:00.001+08:00

last night, i watched many a funny youtube vids from josh and yingling

here are some! if uve been watchin funny vids all along then u prolly watched em before but im not a youtube regular, so all these are pretty new to me. heh

funny night

2008-05-28T12:39:00.003+08:00

Lol i found a function that enables me to upload youtube vids directly from youtube, so good! now i can share with u guys all the funny vids i watched. oh yes ill add a few more.

anyway found this by chance some kinda advert:
http://wl.igg.com/

its like maplestory! haha i would join if i have the time but even then i usually dont like this kinda stuff. haha. like neopets. my sis still playin it! i would actually if my acc didnt get hacked a long time ago. :( sad.

anyways i didnt go sch today. im abnormal, i cant sleep i keep dreaming. i dreamt last time lu and i came home there was no dinner according to mum and she asked us to eat biscuits and i complained. but when er jie came home there was dinner for her and i was like ?! what?! i guess subconsiously i even think, it disturbs me of my mother's favourtism. oh well!

now they (shall not be explicit let u guess) are having kinda issue which i did with her before. u know, she often thinks the whole world revolves around her. i say, God is testing her but really, God is testing us. cause what she (the other one) says is that she (the one) its not even "aware of her folly" yea. you see, there aint no patience, leading to anger in the family before. its not easy changing overnight.

school's interesting

2008-05-27T22:32:00.004+08:00

well two of my close friends are in a bit of a trouble, its hard understanding one of them but i guess they have to work it out between themselves i cant do much.

why dont you just speak up, we believe in the same God, im sure we can all do better than this. yeah.

i forgot to say that i went out with rach last night to buy that 5 buck gym like bag. whoopiedoopie we can carry the same bag in different colours! i saw the I <3 BED shirt only 5 bucks too but aye wanna save up so i didnt buy! :D

you know how difficult it is to be contented, to always wish u'd be richer so u could buy this and that at ur whim and fancy? sigh.

which leads me to remember to tell you guys smthing ive been enlightened after my allergy scare, that souls/humans are the best investments we can have on this earth cause only we will last for eternity, everything else fades away. so im more convinced and desire more to interact with my friends, cause when i go heaven they'll either be there or not be there with me for eternity.

i only just finished planning my revision schedule for this month today. and im supposed to do econs and math and gp and finish that irritating lit essay due last tues. HAHA.

but here i am! internet rocks/sucks socks. hhooowww.

i was emailing matthew that his love and discipline for God amazes me, it does. i keep wishing i have this personal aid to nag to push me to study. or that im this rich girl with a super enticing library and food bar that motivates me to study. but im not. im an ordinary school girl in HDB struggling badly but the only comfort i have is God:)

and i keep dreaming. literally, at night. it sucks it makes me wake up in the morn feeling terribly drained, tired and head aches. it makes me not wanna sleep. and i dreamt about my ex-crush, really how pathetic can that be? -.- stupid dreams really!

more random picts:

cookies i baked for this year's valentines. yes damn long ago.

sybil! :D

that's me and that really tiny watermelon daddy brought home from hainan dao!

sweet sweet sweet

2008-05-27T01:34:00.005+08:00

its a great great night/morning.

i talked to fengyi, no weird meaning but it was nice hearing his voice. haha! talked about his funny/weird/disturbing school adventures and his doubts/questions about God and being judgemental. haha.

then was online with syb and we chatted with cheryl, really thank God, after prayers, he worked! :D really really cleared misunderstanding, doubts. Cheryl the funny girl, she was low EQ which thankfully can be improved and just be yourself girl! ;) love you! like what i said before, i dont wanna just live by J2 life. i wanna make it a memorable one, develope strong rlnships with all that are dear to me in sch :)

and then danielle that sweet sweet gf she asked me for a favour for jon, that guy ah i tell you are U ARE DAMN LUCKY TO HAVE DANIELLE AS GF. she's the kinda gf every guys dreams of i think! :)

random picts:

*you know i have super a lot UNGLAM pics of myself on facebook -.-"' die la now no one will want me as his gf. and increasingly i think theres no problem with christians gg for surgery. cause dont u think altering ur teeth or jaws is also physical surgery as a result of dissatisfaction of what God gave u or to put it more tactly, a enhancement of what God gave u? haha i am thinking maybe i wanna go for double eyelid surgery in future. but i may not cause im afraid of failed op. HAHA. ok lame.

looney tunes dancing at parkway on sunday! ;D

me and ama!

me and ming = future celebs. :D

freedom in every sense darling babies!!!!

2008-05-26T00:35:00.004+08:00

its been a great weekend for me:)

school has been horrid torrid for the last term, dont wanna mention about my falling ill, sudden allergy leading to hospital stay which really, made me LOST my momentum for school work which is important to keep up with work. i lost that and i just skipped school (once really, the last thursday) cause i was evading lit cause of a overdue assignment still unfinished. seriously, i think i've spent 6 hours trying to complete it but did nothing?!

why my weekend was great. sat was spent out shopping at Arab st. for cloth for bridesmaid dress for serene's wedding, ming and i are co-bridesmaid along with mel and alethea and fay. i was irritated throughout the whole trip cause serene didnt have a clear idea in mind at all and wanted us to make choices but really, its her wedding and there wasnt a direction so i was pretty peeved. i wanted us to be able to pick something not just nice but splendid, and agreeable among us 5 bridesmaid and 1 bride and seriously mel and ale wasnt even there. so in the end we chose kinda sucky colours, no offence so we entrust the material into the tailor's good hands:) and of course, continally entrust the whole wedding into God's hands. seriously ppl, dont ever try getting married in 3 months notice or smthg. get at least 6 mths yea! seeing serene so worn out.. aye its pretty upsetting. but thankfully ming was around, any occasion with her is a fun occasion. i love her! :) after we decided on a pink material for our dresses, ming and i went around looking for cute cloth for her "pickle" dresses. there was this really cute lotus leaves with frogs randomly peeking out printed material! haha we loved it!

in the evening i was leading bible study but i felt like having the grp to pray together instead, leaving 15 min for grp discussion and im glad i did, i felt very comforted to hear everyone having a chance to speak up to God, being assured that we all believe in an omnipotent God who listens and answers to our prayers, no matter how minute. :D

today was a rather big mess, josh was supposed to come for morn service, i even called to wake him up after ming gave me a morning call but he couldnt make it and didnt even sms me -.- then i kinda made a pact to go expo fairs- adidas, popular, robinsons, foodie with lujia, ming and yingling but ming and i decided against it cause i didnt have anything in mind and i agreed to go ming's hse to do work.. so end up i went shopping with lu at Parkway, she bought this really nice graphpaper like material top at Fox! while ming went out with her beau... then we met up to go her hse all the way at woodielands. eeks the ride home is an hr u know miss lim ming min! haha. im very sorry to yingling for pangseing her...

i didnt complete much work only did GP compre. i am having this "its the hols, give me a break" mood tho i have been in break mood since months ago. i feel compelled to work harder but again, the flesh is weak. seriously i think im contented to just be a farm girl in some cool county. cool as in temperature cool yea.

i met up with saachi at parkway and she's as funny as ever, im gg to org a gathering with the 1st 3 months MJ girls. :) verena yes u included!

i just want to live in my empty dreams and slack and slack and slack. i dont want to work hard. HAHAHAHA. seriously jiaen needs a personal aide to get her going... die la A levels, go die! :D

at ming's hse we did work and then slept for an hour. HAHA. then we continued for half an hr with me extremely distracted. haha! then it was pizza dinner prepared by domestic goddess ming mama. and we watched freedom writers! i was like yay! i wanted to watch it since last year! its such a great true(!) story, ppl, watch it if u haven. it makes u wanna FIND your dream and pursue it like how the teacher (hilary swank) did even tho her shitty husband left her for it. stress: shitty husband!)

you have no idea how many times i felt like editting stuff i wrote here. like is this unsuitable? am i too naggy? and i am extremely contridictary, i say its been a great weekend but on hindsight it didnt seem like it, more like a great end to the not so good weekend. haha. but i wanna write like how i wanna write so there u go, uneditted post by jiaen. :)

i hope i have gd news of more work done and discipline in the next. may God bless you my friend!

Candy Dandy

2008-05-22T16:28:00.004+08:00

Hi everybody!

IM BACK.

After a long long hiatus.
If you guys read http://ernieteo.livejournal.com/ and two posts ago on this blog u'll know why i stopped and all.

But decided to come back afterall. Im far too familiar with Blogspot. Its where i grow up in and with. :)

Hope to be able to blog more about my life, my thoughts. Haha Welcome back!

<3

do me a favour

2007-11-16T19:24:00.000+08:00

if ure reading this, do me a favour.

dont talk or sms me about what i post here. it gets on my nerves. DONT comment on what i comment here. DONT judge me either. even if u love/care/wanttohelp. thanks but no thanks. its my personal blog and i dont see why i should close this blog to open a new one to express my real thoughts just cause i hope u wont get to read it. sorry if i sound offensive. i probably am.

so im this heated up cause someone is being a total and unresonable bitch. only she can shoot her mouth off and no one else can. go ahead misread misinterpret my words for all i care. go scrutinise MY passing remark, go ahead. be a total bitch and make my life hard and sad for all i care. i care really i do. i care as much as u do.

i think my words can get much worse but i think i wont let it go there (whereever the limit is) cause i dont want to be a bad testimony to God.

i had a bad morning. i reached home at 12.40 after helpin rach pick and settle 36 art paintings for an exhibition today at millenia walk for 5 running days. then i got home and well, couldnt sleep. and well maybe i slept until my mum woke me up at 7.20 to tell me, well that its gg to be 8 soon and ask me when my mission trip to msia will be. and she asked me what time i came home cause i wasnt home when she slept. well she should know i came home late so why (why??!!!) did she have to wake me up that early i dont know why. she could have asked me after i woke up? i was supposed to get up at 8 to get ready for sch at 9 for an animation.video class frm 9 - 5.30 but i couldnt i had a massive headache. interestingly it was my lowerpart of the head. and i didnt wake till 10.45 to sms my tcher and receive a call from huiping to ask me stuff and advise me not to go sch less i faint on the way there. i took her advise and slept till 5. hahha.

well hols for me is pretty much busy and not very happy. hha. i had a worse day on wednesday when i had a bad bout of cramps in sch and was breakin out in cold sweat and immobilized by the pain. thank god for dad to pick me up from sch.

and i like i fancy to blog when im sad but that doesnt neccessarily mean im always sad. i hope u knw whats exaggeration, when u talk about things u can distort it the way u like to. the way i like to.

i dont think many ppl read my blog anyway and i actly prefer some ppl to read it over other ppl. but i cant pick, can i? only if i make a secret blog. i shall seriously consider that.

I'm a GIVER! hahaha

2007-11-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

i saw this on isaac's lj and decided to do the quiz to find out what personality i have!

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.
However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

i think its quite true.

Develop my personal prayer life

2007-11-10T00:45:00.001+08:00

hi friends!

i feel my life's in the pits. i dont know why. i dont know what's upsetting me :(
everything's going ok. ive attended pst's ime's develop ur personal prayer life and i feel yes, inspired. i believe the Holy Spirit will help me take my spiritual life to a higher level and im excited. but something's keeping me back, and i dont know what! :(

thank God for seeing me throught the art republic purchases. it can be so tiring, shopping from chinatown to marine parade to plazasing to lavender st to plazasing and to lavender st again, all in one week! :( i think im worn out by the travelling and the my mood is badly affected at home. i had met well when i said smthing in passing/in concern but was interpreted badly and i feel,

insercure and insignificant yes jiaen actually has such times, unbelievable.

so maybe that's what's biting me :(

and maybe to make things worse tonight my mum told me my phonebill exceed $60 its not a big deal,(not like it exceeded $100, i have exceeded $50 before so its not surprise, really) yes i feel bad but i just didnt like how to mentioned it to me. i dont know. she expected me to cry? "Don't cry ok?" she said. i mean, did she want me to cry? ok, obviously not but like she doesnt understand me enough that i dont cry over such trivial matters?

but i think maybe too much is piling ontop me. maybe im losing my senses, my rational. darn, it gets so tiring. HAI.

And holiday really isnt like holidays its so sucky:(
butttttt yes rejoice in the Lord, i will try to ok! and i will not surf deviantart/facebook until 3-4am today i will read my bible, pray and wake up early tmr to reach church at 8 to help Ming's day for teen challenge's flag day tmr.

Dear Lord,

Please help teen challenge flag day volunteers raise the targeted amount for the house. Please grant them favour and open ur heavenly banks. Please touch the ppl's hearts on the streets and make them feel more generous tmr. Be with us volunteers, give us joy, protect us and help us do a good work unto u cheerfully. May we be a blessing to the people around us.

In jesus's name i pray. Amen! :) yayness, a prayer uplifts my spirit.

i didnt get to see ying ling off today. but its ok ill see her when 23 nov comes which will in a blink of an eye :(which reminds me i need to finish lit hol hw by 17nov. and i think of how yuting's leaving us next yr i feel so sad and i will miss her ive come to grow accustomed to her presence and admire her creativity and zest for stuff, her "action" personality. she's really a treasure to be with, in class and cca. :)

Holidays!

2007-11-05T02:38:00.001+08:00

hahaha my blog layout's in a mess.
but i insist on getting a new skin before id post.
haha id reach a point in time when ive gotten sick of my old skin. although i still think its nice, and better than the current one in terms of style.

its just that im sick of the GREY background so this time ive chosen a light nice background that's reflective of my gay mood i guess.

anyways. its hols! im really happy to feel so relaxed altho i still have responsibilities for Art Republic (Art Club just changed its name! :D)

art republic exco members are gg shoppin at 2 pm later at Chinatown for materials..

well but i really do have a lot of free time spent facebooking, net surfin, tv watching, ive watched america's next top model, survivor, ghost whisperer and dramas. hahaha like so waste time right?

so im gonna do a timetable for myself tmr and chart in time for hw and decent revision!

wanna thank God for promo results, SCDE, wouldnt have gotten it without his help.

i dont think i ever felt so at ease gg for exams before.
well stuff happened for certain subjects, very uneventful ones but still wanna thank him and acknowledge that He works for the good of those who love him and that the the incident is a blessing in disguise, hardship/challenges has made my class bonded!

and wanna thank God too for PW! everything was still like half-baked at the last min, out handouts for examiners were printed in Cheryl's dad's company the very morning we had our oral presentation. just really thankful to God that everything went smoothly! when i realised my mp3 cant play music for our skit, i transfered the files to amelia's mp3 and then we cant get it to play until we unplug some wires and then the projector screen almost didnt come on for our ppt slides and Diana feared we had to carry on without visuals. but thank God, thank God everything went smoothly!

:)

so ive helped out at tungling on wed and thur cause Janice needed help for the annual concert. met some really sweet kids. glad that yingling came along with me, we had fun together. it would have been boring if it was just me...

Cayla, Cara the lovely twins

Fiona, Me, Cayla, YingLing, Cara and Joanie

Su-ann and Me

akira the jap boy was so confused cause he doesnt understant chinese or english. yet he's funny so lost in a world of his own, hummiing songs to himself and speaking monosyllabic words of japanese and reacting, smiling when we say "mushi-mushi" (hello in jap) and waving to us when we say "sayonara"(goodbye)

Akira and Me

yuting asked me to go rachel's hse at mandarin gardens to watch some movies. she really wanted to go take a look at rach's massive condo. so on thurs afternoon we watched fantastic four, cinderella and sleeping beauty. rach cried when watching beauty and the beast, haha i dont feel for it as much as i do. i guess i take a very objective point when i watch shows. id think like "oh, how tough it must have been to draw this" or "how tough it must have been for the actor/ress" haha!

my order of preference for disney princesses goes:

1.cinderella

2.beauty
3.ariel
4.sleeping beauty
5.jasmine
6.snow white

im not sure why i have such a great love for cinderella, perhaps its got to do with the prince charming or maybe young as i was, i could symphatise with the tragic character of cinderella and really taken in by the magic transformation of dusty maid to beautiful princess. maybe its a dream all girls wish for to come true. i dont know and i sound so whimsical, its making me laugh.

on friday, after art promo papers review, Ms Chan kindly and generously treated her J1 H2 art class to lunch at Food For Thought !!! It was nice, i had pulled-pork which was slightly too salty but i like this sort of european sandwich lunches with soup as well! which was wild mushroom very mushroomey indeed. haha the brocolli soup was too raw for my taste.. and rachel was in love with the velvet cake. and we're gg to do a collaboration with the shop, we're gg to make plush toys and do some paintings to raise funds for the orgs that FFT supports! some building wells around the world, this is so cool, i love how Ms Chan infects others (us) with her generousity and love for others!:)

after lunch, martin, ian, yuting, rach and i went to national library at bugis! its my 1st time there and we had fun at the exhibition!

Yuting, Me and Ian

Campaign brought to you by NLB: Read more books! :) i will this hols!

then today, Alvaro Sanchez came for bilingual and it was really nice listening to him play the harp and the guitar. <3

thereafter i went lunch with ming and luke at Coffeemaster, the chicken fiesta at $5.90 is good, albeit slight pricey for schoolers like me. i should be eating hawker fare la. and they thank their lucky stars i was there.

then shopping with ming at suntec. i enjoyed walking around with her. im intrigued/impressed by food republic's decor. its like a huge ancient, romantic library, i like.

then i went to rach's house again, this time invited by martin, interesting how twice i go her house but invited by other classmates! haha. so martin, serene, rach and i watched 2046(martin's dvd) which is just such a FANTASTIC movie i tell you. watch it and ull not regret. its art house but really so so good, not just the "excellent visuals" in martin's words but i say it has excellent concept and plot! its NC16 by the way. haha so there's some "intimate scenes" and in my opinion, funnily exaggerated sex scenes.

haha i wonder if anyone missed my post, like seriously.
and i thought i wont be posting again cause i dont like to think how i reveal my thoughts to ppl. or rather. i like to be selective in my viewers but i cant. well maybe i can. there's always the locked post function or "password protected" post. haha now i know what to do :D

id like to be Christina Aguilera, "no pretence, just me"

on a last note, i might be working for Eugene's shop Amoeba at PP, i hope to make my hol time worthwhile, earn a little cash! :)

Gabriele Magurno

2007-09-11T15:42:00.000+08:00

Chanced upon this guy's blog and i think he's super funny!

http://www.magurno.com/

He's quite a talented italian i must say, his music (in my opinion) better than his graphic creation (which are commonplace). Hahah but who am i to comment? lol.

Click on the banner that says "Magurno needs love" and read what he writes! i think its quite hilarious but nonetheless very cute way of looking for love. :)

2007-09-11T14:42:00.001+08:00

"I've always thought that problem-solving is highly overrated and that problem creation is far more interesting." - Chuck Close

WOW

2007-09-08T14:35:00.003+08:00

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

moral of the story

1.use proper internet connection for serious stuff

2.get a thumbdrive so i can easily transfer file/s from lappy to com

God is with me! :)

I mean, look at that! hahahaha i love hotmail.

Its so fun using stable network la.
:) now it can all come true when the MIO wireless network is installed on the 17th this month! YAY! :))))

Praise the Lord!

I hate wireless network when it cranks up

2007-09-08T14:10:00.000+08:00

first i spent an hour finishin the final report for YFC - adding pics with the kids, with the volunteers, pic of signboard, pic of our konoai web

THEN I SPEND 2 HOURS TRYING TO UPLOAD THE DAMN THING
omg its been the most trying / testin of my patience

First, you try hotmail- the "trusty" old guy out of habit

then cannot, go to gmail- supposedly foodproof and better

but when all else fails... GO THE THE WIRED CONNECTION IN THE LIVING ROOM
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
despite all these wasted hours i am not entirely flustered

i have long given up hope/faith on technology

i firmly believe that technology was invented NOT to improve our lives as in INCREASES the $^%&* workload we ALREADY have

oh thank the Lord for whoever that created coms/softwares/ and MOST OF ALL the wonderful sweet little virus-makers

life is great, isnt it :)

2nd Floral art class, BBQ and Ian's party

2007-09-07T21:54:00.000+08:00

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, 2nd floral art class

My 2nd floral art creation with Mr Lim's touch :)

Lotus pod with chrysanthemums and leaves!
I'm very happy with it, i was inspired by Sybil's ribbon treatment with her leaves and hence curled mine up, both us us were showered much praise from Mr Lim. Im glad i thought out of the box! i was thinking to myself "i must do something different!" :)

Welissa's creation
Was "rojak" initially but under Mr Lim's magic touch (he took the arrangement apart then placed them together again) it became a stunning piece! It has a lot of potential, just needed to be refined!(haha just like a lot of us) "like an uncut diamond" i think that was what Mr Lim said.

Xin Ying's creation
I think attaching the flower on the leaves is quite cute.

Sybil's creation
Mr Lim taught us that using taller vase is good cause it appears more elegant and gives more room for better floral arrangement, so the leaves/flower has space to droop down, jsut like what he did with the huge long leaf infront!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday Night

Chef Jon at work! He prepared majority of the good food (according to Serene) we had at Benjamin core grp's bbq gathering! held under the stars, at a circular bbq pit at Matthew's condo.

Matthew and long-time-no-see Zhi Rong
Matthew was slacking most of the time! They look distorted cause of the smoke! haha.

Serene and Chef the two chefs of the night hard at work. turning the chicken sticks, sausages, dory fish, pork chops on the BBQ. Aye! So much food :D haha.

The bbq was quite, ahem, regrettably boring cause Natty and Ming couldnt make it (!) so it was almost like a boy's gathering. Haha. but the night ended well cause we played silly name games like Random name game and Name the movie game. haha.

then the nice guys led by valiant Enos offered to walk me to the side gate and wait for dad and mum to pick me up by car :)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday (Today!)
Ian's Fabulous 17th Birthday party

Ian! He's my "fellow elitist" i cant rememeber how we had this alliance but anyway we're a notch above the rest when we tune in to our elitist mode (okay, others think we're cranky, whatever) :D

Sadly today i was feeling the effects of a long tiring day yesterday ( wall painting THEN UOB painting from 10am to 7pm(!) so i didnt really enjoy this day and party as well as i could have if i was healthy and fit as a fiddle (why that phrase?)

i awoke with running nose and phelgm :( and i ate leftover flu med (!) haha and erjie's recommended Wood peppermint. thankfully i recovered but was very extremely drowsy the whole afternoon :( i editted a little of YFC final report (under the effects on caffaine)

then in the evening i got back my zest (haha), played badminton with Serene. Oh i love badminton! and had a huge/massive/delicious/good stuff dinner cooked with much love by Ian's mama.

here are some pics:)

Becca, Me, Cheryl and Syb at Ian's Birthday party just hours earlier
sorry becca u dont look very flattering here - to all else, i tell you she looks like an angel k.

becca clapping retardly to her alma mater's(cresent girls) song. :D

handsome cheryl in martin's VS uniform and lovely me(haha!)

The whole uniform thing you see right is in line with Ian's dress code which is supposed to be according to your response to whether you think JC system should be abolished. if you think so then come in rebel(lish) clothes or anything unlike sch uni. if you dont think so then come in schoolish clothes.

i couldnt think (haha) so i went in normal casual/go to friend's bday party clothes. LOL.

Me, Ian and Ian's mama :)

Me, Diana and Martin
Martin acting man but looking ridiculous (ridiculously funny too) in Rachel's SCGS sch dress

Nice nice furry thingy at Ian's house
i have no idea what itx called but its always around in new year. no idea why and what'sit in doing in Ian's house at NON-new year time? :D

Me and Serene Choo! - She's our class rep very responsible like the Serene Goh i know haha. :)

Serene Choo Choo the girl with a black hole instead of a stomach rushing for food with the others - Shafiq, Amelia and Cheyenne

There's chocolate fondue!! with strawberry and banana- they were just what - appetizers! we had shepherd's pie, tomato sauce pasta, mee siam, fried breaded fish and honey-glazed chicken wings! Ohmygosh food was so so filling. Ian's mum sure can cook! No wonder Serene seemed keen on the idea of being Ian's future wife. HAHA

My fellow elitist Ian sure is living the high life. haha

I shall continue to edit the report(again with effects of caffaine)
as i promised dennis i would.

Then i will (hopefully if i still have energy/effects of caffaine has not run out) work on Art explorative or is it exploratory (whatever) essay which is supposed to be 1500 word long !?! How many sleepless nights Ms Chan will have i wonder. Poor Miss Chan. Aye she ah make life difficult for herself. HAHA

Photos Time! :)

2007-09-03T19:57:00.000+08:00

Photos since Wednesday till Today!

Me hanky pankying after lit lecture!

Me, Rebecca, Sybil Cheryl! :D

SAS Italy Art Trip Exhibition! :)

I made Teachers Day Cards for SAJC teachers!

Martin kisses rose for Miss Chan! Haha adding "special ingredients"

Lovely Gladys and Hui Ping spent Aug31 afternoon with me, painting our Art Club grunge cab! :D

I took this beautiful shot while taking a break from car painting! :)

You cant see my fatigue after car painting in this pic. haha! I was really tired!

Pretty Serene dining with me at Coffee bean last night ;)

Great(to-be) flower artist and creation

Our Creation with Mr Lim's (our teacher with highest degree for floral art, AIFD) improvisation. haha which made a huge difference, of course lah.

Welissa's creation

Sybil's Creation
NOTE how Mr Lim bent the leaf to form a 90degree angle! so funky and comtempary!

Mine! Looking better, more dimension, not as "flat" and conventional as before.
Sadly im quite a boring person but try to think out of the box and be as daring as possible~! well, as least in terms of Floral Art- to creat original pieces! :)

Last pic, Cute Sybil! taken while waiting for our Dads to send us and our creations home:)

Thank God this day was quite an enjoyable one! now must go do serious studying :)

Ratatouille and life can be so unpredictable :D

2007-09-03T01:19:00.000+08:00

haha i typed a while lot but then decided to retype!
cause it was too draggy i was almost reportin the slightest details ha!

anyway i was angry prior to typing all these cause i cant find the box for my new phone to upload the pics i took over the past days.

wanna thank God and mummy for giving me a new phone! though i suspect that its mummy that kept away the box and i dont know why either that or an alien came to hide it away and give me a hard time. haha!

ok i had a great day albeit waking up and missing morning service and hence LDG- leaders discussion group and hence getting reprimanded very gently by matthew haha.

but i read through say half of antony and cleo, dined with Serene at Coffee Beans, 4.50 chicken cream pasta kids meal :D, movied with matthew and serene! felt bad that serene had to cab home. um i told her in future i hope to get a car and drive her and matthew home! then matthew told me he wont be able to drive me home in a long time to come which is true considering he is considering leaving for a theological college next year, by God's grace and will if its to come. and i told him i await the next time he drives me home again! :D

um we watched Ratattouille which is really good cause its funny, unpredictable, inspires and had great scenes, makes me excited. haha! :D its always a joy watchin movies with me, cause i scream at exciting movies but i laugh at horror ones HAHA! :D

ok before i get to upload pics of friends and stuff i shall post a Ratatouille pic then! :D

its a great movie to catch! :D i want to watch 881! aye but i should finish all my tasks like I n R. haha!

tmr schhh with Mr Nah econs extra lectures, tutorial with Mdm Ang(always call Mrs haha!) then flower-arrangement/drawing with Christopher lim! i hope its a good day! pry so itll be! :D

Heart Broken

2007-08-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,
he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence Over the next

A few weeks later, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.

Some times people forget the pain that others inflict on them. No, rather they dont realise others feel the same pain. Christ is the only remedy, protection for our vulnerable heart.

If it hadnt been for him, my heart probably been broken, died and hardened. And even if my heart were to become in such a situation some day, he can revive it. :)

I positively loathe and am angry with myself :(

2007-08-28T18:41:00.000+08:00

I LOST

1. my spectable box with my specs
2. My NEW black G1 pen
3. MY SAMSUNG HANDPHONE IN SAJC GIRLS TOILET (darn!) :((

im really careless and blur and just !!! dont know what to say la!

Jia en MUSNT be careless/blur/dontknowwhattosay anymore!

Oh Lord! Tell me what for am i like that?

ok at least i didnt lose anything like bad, these are only material wealth. but still, im not a good steward of stuff God/parents gave me yea?

Anyway, 35 more days to prelims! :/

Complex

2007-08-23T20:42:00.001+08:00

Hello hello didnt intend to post today budden hor i saw ongton's blog and then decided to blog.

haha whats up with the slang/singlish? dunno leh must be Fistful of Colour's influence. they make singlish sound cool ok! haha.:D

anyway bout the book, its my lit book -.- my teacher, Mrs Claudine Tan says about the book " the individual is subject to/influenced by the wider society"

haha i've been sleeping at 7pm for the past 2 days! incredible isnt it?!

and i feel guilty to my art teacher, Ms Chan, cause i didnt finish the Kandinsky/Pollock essay/assigment. and i was even more guilty when Ian showed me she wrote my name on his unnamed paper thinking it was written by me at first. :(((( and his essay was like the best among the class. (and martin's too) so! Ms Chan thinks so highly of me but i let her down.

anyways i think i suck at tests and exams and assessement. somehow ppl(ok me included) look at me and expect me to be a wonderful student, do everything, hand in work on time but hor. not so the case. :(

aye whatever la

so now im trying /doing my best to finish work. like later eOm, that art essay and gp essay.

when when when will i break my status quo???

i had a nightmare of being rejected by my eye-candy.
i have an aching lower back.
i think that living for God is not a simple decision to make and choice to follow.

people are living in agony, think vietnamese/hmongs in thailand being persecuted in their homeland, think iraqis and american soldiers killed in iraq. there are orphans or children with parents but are better off without them (think children's aid society). SO do your bit to make the world a better place alright! at least love ur family and friends. and pray! cause God hears your/our prayers :)

haha i love stream-of-consciousness kinda post

TO ongton: cheer up aye boy! i will pray for u that u will find your purpose and meaning in life, be filled with joy everlasting and be a blessing to people in your life :)

Nonsense about Jia En! :D

2007-08-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

Got this from Melissa hohoho's blog!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jia En!

Jia En was originally green, and actually contained cocaine.
Jia En can be seen from space.
Jia En once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest.
All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Jia En.
Jia En cannot jump!
The liquid inside Jia En can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
Half a cup of Jia En contains only seventeen calories.
Neil Armstrong first stepped on Jia En with his left foot.
Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Jia En!
Jia En was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.

B is for Boring

2007-08-04T19:38:00.000+08:00

hello! i was reading my previous posts and realised that i have neither learnt to turn to God in sight of trouble nor be disciplined in doing work.

looking at things if i remain status quo i will do badly for A levels and go to a sub standard uni. haha. if God willing. hence i must be disciplined. which in reality is something that requires a miracle or a lot of hardwork on my part. sigh jia en is such a slacker.

haha but seriously. i will try to succeed in all i do. does that make sense? um that is finish all i have to do. my blog is so boring why are you still reading? hahaha!

i was watchin videos and reading about michael jackson. he's a cool guy as in he sings and dances well but he transformed quite radically on the appearance over the years. and elvis presley, when he died he was fat, very different from when he was young and from what he was remembered for/as.

so, im wondering when i died how will i look like and what will i achieve? haha a vvery ,morbid but provoking thought. :)

and currently feeling very disappointed because of the status quo in my character, dissatisfied with it. :) bye!

count your blessings

2007-07-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

lately ive been and i will continue to (i think) type randomly, stuff that comes out of my thoughts, my stream of consciousness. wanna say that i must you must we must learn NOT to take things for granted. the boiler that boils hot water for us to make warm milo on a cold night. the air con to cool us down on a hot day. the fan that cools us down in a stuffy classroom! ppl in the 3rd world countries dont even have a proper roof over their heads or meal to fill their tummies! we must really thank God and count our blessings :):):)

makes me feel better saying this, just thinkin of how i shall lesrn to appreciate things cause there is a cost to everything!

hmm wanted to come online to do research for art, abstract expressionism/ action painting/ willam de kooning, the guy i told you about.

oh yes, i read this verse TWICE today so i think God's saying something to me. but before i type the verse (i will cope past it from biblegateway actually) i want to show you guys a poem , a very beautiful and touching poem i read from Purpose-driven life book - day 2 by Rick Warren. have i told you before that this is the one book that changed my life for the better? (apart from God and his word. the bible) i am very sure it will to your life too.

Poem by Russell Kelfer:

You Are Not An Accident

You are who you are for a reason
You're part of an intricate plan
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
called God's special woman or man

You look like you look for a reason
Our God made no mistake
He knit y ou together within the womb
You're just what he wanted to make

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom designed with God's plan in mind
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy
And God wept that it hurt you so
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow

You are who you are for a reason
You've been formed by the Master's rod
You are who you are , beloved,
Because there is a God!

and the verse...bold and italic, in its context

Isaiah 53
1 Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

8 By oppression [a] and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken. [b]

9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes [c] his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life [d] and be satisfied [e] ;
by his knowledge [f] my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, [g]
and he will divide the spoils with the strong, [h]
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

lastly to define what's iniquities and transgressions..

Iniquity-
1.absence of moral or spiritual values; "the powers of darkness"
evil: morally objectionable behavior
2.injustice: an unjust act
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Transgression-
1.the act of transgressing; the violation of a law or a duty or moral principle; "the boy was punished for the transgressions of his father"
2.the spreading of the sea over land as evidenced by the deposition of marine strata over terrestrial strata
3.the action of going beyond or overstepping some boundary or limit
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

the 1st meanin for both words is the most accurate for the verse i think.

okay, byebye people! oh before i leave

on a last note, i saw the pics the SAS boys picked for the italy art exhibition some of them were really good! i hope i can upload them to show you guys as well as for my personal reference. more for the latter i think. very little ppl read my blog i believe. and xiaxue is a really funny blogger. she and kennysia are my fave bloggers. as in non frens blogger cause they type really funny stuff sometimes educational and awareness thingy post too.

oh yes everyone is crazy over harry potter and the deathly hallows -.-"' no big deal, really, i wil read it when the whole hooha is pver wheni have watched the movie thats showing now when i am done with my piled up hw when i am free. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. im gg nuts!

bye sweets!

Accused

2007-07-22T21:34:00.001+08:00

Hey!

its a cold and horrible sunday. for me.
i hate feeling accused!
like "oh you overslept until now?" thats what serene said when she saw me after evening service in church. -.-"' and prior to thati met eugene at the traffic light before i reached church which was already very late, like 10 min before service ending and he was "or hor so late then come church?" or something alogn that line.

i know im terrible, i cant wake up for morning service (but i can for school) the reason being i dont want to fall asleep in chapel cause im tired and secondly cause often i laze on bed and dont want to be LATE for church. sigh sigh sigh! it helps when u have someone to go to church with but ive got none! my dad goes his church at 7, Lujia goes to church at 8 but i only have to reach at 8.30 and the rest of my family leaves later. :(:(:(

but PEOPLE! dont ever jump to conclusions ! find out whats happen first!!
sigh! im glad the whole filming thing is OVER! :) i pray that we didnt miss any scenes (omg, pls god) and that everthing goes on smoothly and that ver and team will get an A for this project! but i wont do this or something like this again or i should call then inform ppl, like EVERYONE in church/ypm so they'll know WHY im not around. shit.

i feel so ungodly and unholy. :/ haha cause i didnt manage to get Everyday with Jesus for July and Aug and ive been using the Lovesingapore devotional material but its insubstantial and i dont flip the bible cause the verses are in the booklet. so its cause ive not been medidating on God's words! Ah! HOW? i dont knw how! haha must find other books that'l help! i know! i shall reread y purpose driven life :) i dont like reading the bible for reading sake, i like to have guide books :)

i feel.. unappreciated and insignificant. hai, its the time when u see the bottle as half empty. sigh humans are so fickle thank God He's unchanging. lately im appreciating this trait of his more and more. cause humans aint trustworthy even myself. everything and everyone is susceptible to change. so sad right!

man im just ranting here but it feels good. DONT sms me or comment to tell me whats wrong with me. if not i'll ignore you. cause i dont like it. i know whats wrong, this blog is just for me to type what's me. no pretenses. i dont want to Not blog stuff just cause im afraid others will read it. yeah. but you can sms me jokes or encouragements to cheer me up, make me feel better:) love you!

Sigh

2007-07-22T11:17:00.000+08:00

Verena needed an actress for her final year project/video. so she approached me at 12am last night and i kindly agreed, thinking it'll only take from 1 - 4.30pm yesterday. but turned put that it took much longer than that, it took from 1.30 till 10pm! so sadly i missed YPM and the cake that Mingmin bought. WHY cant they celebrate my birthday in advance? im sorry cause i really thought the filming will end at 4.30, thats what verena said but it didnt cause things dont always go smoothly right?

so anyway, the filming was quite fun but tiring! no wonder actresses and actors always say filmin's tiring cause it really is -.-"' i got to act as a bulimic girl who died and turned into a ghost to haunt her friend. haha i had to put "vomit" which was milo + oatmeal on my chin when i fainted after i puked. and as a ghost i has a baby-powder powdered face and mascara which was "freaky" LOL i shall see if i can take any pics and upload.

im gg to leave for the next few scenes shooting! :) hopefully today's will be better and more fun than yesterday.

and im gg for service in the evening. hopefully someone will go with me. sigh. :(

oh in the end i changed what i wanted to reproduce for de koonin's art..

this is done by de kooning himself:

this is the one i did!:

Depressed

2007-07-18T18:25:00.000+08:00

Hello im depressed!

hai i realised that birthday has lost its special meaning! :( didnt feel like as if it was anything at all ytd.

or is it just this year, this time when ive got so much things to do yet ive accomplished only one pathetic EoM and feel really loserish and demoralised about my capablities and responsiblility and everything! im a really really bad procrastinator, i hate myself.

haha now im at art room, just finished looking and printing for my art hw due tmr, reproducing an abstract work by william de kooning! so cheem la. ;( take a look at it... its on top i think im not sure if its gg to be uploaded right -.-

and oh yes how did shu min come by my blog? haha.. we have the same bday.. happy belated birthday to u!

still thanking God even tho im depressed cause theres no other way then to trust and obey! supposed to :) but only feel :(

crap, thank God i got C for lit! its a MIRACLE cause ive been gettting U and E and D for tests and i was hoping for an E for CT thankfully got C. whereas for ECONS got U sigh

something to cheer u up if u did badly for JCT... saw in on one of the classroom table, so ingenious! haha

U- Unbeatable
S- Spectacular
E- Excellent
D- Damn Pro
C- CMI (Cannotmakeit)
B- Backside
A- Atrocious

bye!

cliche

2007-07-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

hellO! im gg to be cliche here and write down thanks to all who made my day a little more special today!

firstly it has got to be my family, who celebrated for me at Pizza Hut last night :D we had cheesy fondue pizze and crispy thin! really good food i tell u! :D

then my sis lujia gave me a Edmun Monkton notebook which is really cute and i decided ill use it next year cause i still have lots of pages left for my current one.

this is on top of a pair of ipanema sandals from her and jia hui :D i like the sandals cept that it gives me blisters. sigh haha

then yingling ah she accompanied me to go shopping at PP ytd and PS today to buy me OP slippers but turns out only tampines CS has got buy one get one free and nicer designs so we'll go there another day this week i guess. and she was the 2nd to wish me Happy birthday altho a half awake one in the monrning.

then Ming called to wisah me happy birthday!

and theres 07AO9 who gave me a "surprise" bday celebration in the canteen! haha i was doin EoM half way in the library at 9.40 then Diana was like "Jia En lets go down to the cafe, everyone's waiting for us" i thought she was whining as usual so i frowned and replied " i want to finish my EoM first" LOL then she got really edgy and sort of leaked the surprise " Jia En if you dont go down know im gg to get scolded!" HAHAH it was really funny la.

it was a really tasty choc and hazelnut falvoured ice cream with crunchy biscuit brought by Sybil. :) and they made me eat a HUGE spoon of Cake! like as if my mouth was THAT big! haha. i really love 07A09!

i received sms from Dione, yiting, yuting, jun han, natasha, catherine, loretta and clinton
a frienster msg from caroline and hamsan.
and i met verena at PS by chance! and got a very excited look and hug! :)

yup quite eventful day but a lot of hw supposed to be due today not done so was not looking forward to this day actually. and i genuinely forgot about art class today and Ms chan is sadly disappointed that we(07a09) didnt go for her class (cause by right have chinese listening compre so class is cancelled but actually got brought forward)

lastly i want to thank God for keeping me alive for 16 years and just want to sing that "I give you life, i give you my all, i live for you alone!" :)

My 17th Birthday!

2007-07-17T08:46:00.000+08:00

Hello its my 17th birthday on 17 july! :)

hahah have a very happy jiaen's day! i love you guys! :D

DEPRESSING

2007-07-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

Hello! here are some pics from the Italy trip !

yujie and me on the flight from sing to thai.

haha turns out i can only upload these few photos cause my internet connections is crazy as usual.

ok, from the top left
clocktower in milan, famous venice scene (from SS txtbook rmb?), venice's duomo- house of God/chapel, jingwen and me infront of the bridge of sighs- infamously known as prisoners sighed there before being hanged or smthing.

i think the venice sea scene was a good one esp when my cam is pretty lousy.
most pics are with Yujie, my travel partner and roommate, thank God for her. ;) she's really nice to hang out and travel and talk with you know! and we have a lot of similarities i feel, trying to be overachievers haha have too many things on our plate. we both have YFC and involved with church and she is in Council. must keep praying for her cause she always look and is perpetually tired la.

when i get more pics from yujie and when my internet connection is up, ill post more pics k! maybe ill post them on photobucket and then link u guys there :) faster that way.

UM if u care, please please pray for my team's YFC progress cause there's been a lot alot of disappointments and difficulties it isnt easy producing notebooks and organising stuff i tell ya. can die. hopefully all the mistakes i learn from can provide a rich pot of experience for me in future. and NOT to make them again.

yes im uber depressed that im like so not myself in school which is so sad. adds on to my sadness. when i think of how i have to finish the HUGE uob painting its like living in a nightmare and aye im so tired and drained of inspiration and motivation.

Life is unfair life was never a bed of roses life is tough.

:)

well. many other stuff that id like to mention but hahahahaha dont feel like it. oh well. another time maybe. Bye!

ITALY!

2007-06-08T14:11:00.000+08:00

Hello darlings!

Im flying off to italy in just a while! ;)

But imma just so dead cause i still have to do t-shirts designs for fundraising, haven finished UOB, only 20% done?! and i have NOT studied for JCT:(((((

ill be back on 18th june, and then i still have to go school for UOB and i hope i can finished in that week! (but highly impossible, hai i think i cant submit on time for the competition and totally lose the chance of winning -.-"')

i've been feeling totaly loserise lately. productive (slightly la) but i feel that im sucha underachiever. hai.

Life is unfair, there's the rich, the pretty, the everything people. and its us- not rich, not pretty and dont have everything people.. but we take our lot and still thank God for the breath we have.

and of course, the chance to go italy! :0)

Dont expect me to buy stuff for you. If i buy for u, (cause i like you) count yourself lucky cause I HAVE ONLY 240 EUROS (which is $500 but considered very very little) !!!! :'(((((((

i will miss ming, serene, taiyong, verena, my sisters, YUTING - YOU ARE WHY DIDNT YOU SAVE YOUR PHOTOS ON EMAIL AND SAVE ME THE TROUBLE???!, parents, yingling.

my bed, my room.

i will not miss: UOB painting

i will be haunted by: UOB painting and doing badly for JCT :(((((((((((((((

pray pray pray

Busy

2007-06-03T21:25:00.000+08:00

My dear dear loyal readers, imma so sorry to have neglected this blog of mine.
aye, i am unable to deliver my promise of posting at least once a week (or was it once a fortnight?)

Sorry to Dione for not attending VJ choir- i heard it was great - as expected :) and i hope u had fun!

I've been busy with YouthForCauses project planning which took up my Vesak Day Holiday. everything's just so unplanned and intangible that makes me really worried. :(( we're a bunch of ambitious kids planning to raise 40,000 for the Children's Aid Society and and and i'm really worried our plan falls through. at the very least we need to recoup our losses and make sure we pass the 30/70 rule (we have to make sure our costs doesnt exceed 30% of our revenue)

SOsoso im praying and praying that we'll plan wisely and as detailed as possible AND more importantly that the sky doesnt crash down on us - as in nothing BAD unexpectedly crops up and all.

this whole fundraising thing is going to be tough and i am going to learn so much from it! :)
im gg to thank God for my sufferings like Paul did cause everything has its purpose:)
hopefully.

besides, this 1st week of the hols has been only half productive. my UOB painting is a slow slow progress its 1.1x1.5 m large canvas and i've only painted 10% of it. AND i am leaving for italy this friday so im WORRIED i cant finish THAT and studying for JCT :(((

i want to get a scolarship for art in University and i need to do well for JCT so Ms Chan will consider teaching me H3 Art.

troublesome things aside, thank God for Pirates of the Carribean. HAHA just kidding, i thank God for everything Just tht POC is a great movie!:)

SENTOSA with 4A- yiting, ganda, zhongmou, justin, guangshun, loretta, jingwei, clinton, justinn and aaron was HOT i got sunburnt hahahah and fun and delicious eating icecream and cupnoodles! :) a pity HANNAH and VALERIE and SEK werent around. to Han and Val JUST WHERE WERE U GALS? :(((

ahhh things come flooding back to mind... if u dont already know, SA Boys lost to VJ, cliching the 4th position and MJ i dont want to say the word to RJ, winning the 2nd best title. I WAS SO SO SO SO VERY SAD that day. :((( and i still had to go dinner with Verena and Zhi Jun and Khai and Khai was like "Jia En, can i turn back time" and im like i feel a stab in my heart. why, soccer is not about ONE man team cause if it was, MJ would have won if its made up of 11 khais.

life's like that. sometimes we cant achieve success just by our own merits or strengths we need others to perform well as well! team effort! :)

alright i guess ill just pop by another time soon, at least once before i leave for Italy! :)

Patience

2007-05-02T20:08:00.000+08:00

The teacher does not teach nor speaketh during an exam.
That is the same with God when He giveth a test.

:(

Hence, my dear friends, we cannot blame God when He puts trials and tribulations in our lives and does not lend us a helping hand. But fear not, God will not give us more than what we can bear, His grace is sufficient and He has promised us that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Im saying all these because Life is always so FULL of struggles, i don't think there is ever a day that is without a tussle. And when we think of how God is putting all these little "tests" in our lives, we ought to remember that we should put what we have learnt into practice. Love the unlovely, avoid godless chatter, keep our thoughts pure and holy.

It aint easy. Often i only remember that i shouldn't have acted or said or done something when i already have done so. But change isnt instaneous, I'm working on it. No one can be perfect like Jesus but that does not mean we should all stop trying to be more like Him. :)

I had wanted to post a rather unhappy incident that happened just earlier on but i decided against it and instead post after i do my Quiet Time. Thank God i did cause during the time, he showed me through the bible in Genesis that Noah and family waited ONE LONG AND AGONIZING YEAR before the flood subisided and they could come out of the ark. Just imagine! One year of confinment (almost imprisonment i think) just what did they do to survive? No tv, no com, no net. So i presume it must have been a lot of time spent together with God and family. It must have been good. Ok, im kinda digressing. The point I'm trying to say here is that

Patience is Key to see through the flood.

I dont understand why God has to promise me that everything is fine, everything is in His hands and yet reality doesnt seem to be the case. Yes, he created the world and everything in it is His but i still have my insecurities and i always am filled with guilt and remorse when i cant help but lose faith in Him. WHY?! He is after all the God of everything, You and Me, problems or no problems but somehow, we always tend to look at the problem and not on God right? Thus problem seems BIG and God seem small. Sigh. Life is one long learning journey.

HAHA ok right now you must be feeling that Jia En is being uber (do you know this world exist on proper english dictionary!) philosophical. Cause that what i really feel like now. I guess meditations on God's words and spending time with Him do make people become thinkers. Heh.

On a lighter note, i was admiring the sky during dusk and i thought:

"The Sky is God's palette"

Ever changing, ever beautiful. I'm so in awe of God's creativity. :D

I do thank God for everything He's done in my life. I really do feel im very fortunate, blessed, cherished and protected from harm. That's why i think twice before i complain cause really, do i deserve the right to complain?

Tag people tag, let me know if you pop by. Put some life and activity in this seemingly dead blog of mine. Ok i'll be back and i promise i'll sound more like my chirpy self. :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

more to add!

was spending time in art room to finish up my still life-fake lilies painting with Ernica(cool name right? imagine if im called Ernie, then she'd be by twin in name! ;D)

oh anyway talking bout names, last night i was thinking if Emma this name suits me. Cause i like the letter E and i have always toyed with the idea of having an english name. so tag and tell me which is better, Ernie or Emma! ;D Ernie is cute but boyish, Emma is nice(ok very general word i know what cant find a proper substitute so whatever la!) but sounds old-fashioned.

Um back to the topic on art room with Ernica, we were both discussing that TIME HAS PASSED AT INCREDIBLE SPPPEEEDDD.

DUDES! its MAY. :/

technically its almost to say that 1/4 of our JC life has passed

and i still dont feel like i belong in JC yet. :/

not that im having any identity crisis or feeling particularly insecure, dont worry, cause i am not.

but it feels weird, almost out-of-place. ok, not out-of-place but rather not-in-place. haha. word play. like outdoor and in-house.

despite feeling not-in-place, i am enjoying school life very much, much more than secondary life actually. not in the way that i prefer my sch mates more ( i like them both as much) but in the way that i find more enjoyment in the curriculum (esp lit and art! :D) and the sch physical environment is definitely much more attractive. I'm someone who is particular about how my school looks. ^^

YUP and since MAY is here it signals the coming of JUNE HOLS (italy trip!) but also COMMON TEST (=EXAM) :(( better start studying (hugging, sleeping with books) soon! oh not only books but lotsa notes as well. ha.

adios! im gonna embrace a PPT on Chua Mia Tee - singaporean artist just about NAW. :)

GOOD DAY!

2007-04-30T22:01:00.000+08:00

VJ SA match saw a 1-1 DRAW this afternoon! :D

i was never SOO EXCITED, HYPED UP and EXHILARATED for a soccer match before.
PE this morn was crazily exhausting. CAP'S BALL with 07A09 rocks my socks. everytime after PE Joshua (some sciency guy) will ask me

"You had 2.4 huh?"

and im like "No la, just some sports. Why do you always ask the same question?"

and he's like "haha cause you look like you just ran 2.4!"

i do think its 2.4 and more man. my class is so interestingly friendly competitive and we always have so much healthy fun :)

today some highlights to note was when sybil fell on her butt as she slipped on a wet part. it was super funny! like those cartoon when u slip and fall from a banana skin! thankfully she wasnt hurt, only felt "fuzzy wuzzy" at the butt. ;D others include how martin tries to take advantage of girls AND guys when he just attacks you for the ball. tsk tsk martin. hahaha. better not say too much or he'll will complain. just in case martin's reading, Martin is the most goodlooking boy in my class. (:

i got to meet valerie! :D at VJ but missed HANNAH! :( i cant wait for 4A mtg cause im sucha loser and have missed like 2?! mtgs :( i miss my 4A classmateys!

taiyong's in army and i hope he spreads the love of God like jam over bread, evenly and thick to make a hearty meal! :D God's strength will be with you bro!

NATTY i hope ure doing better in sch!:D tho new softwares can be such a chore to learn but they give u many splendid sense of achievements when u do master them! so persevere on babe and produce many many pretty animations k! :D make jesus proud!

i made a LJ acc today! cause silly verena only allows LJ frens to read her blog. but its cool. cause i have another blog to post stuff! haha go check it out k!

http://ernieteo.livejournal.com/

labour day is celebrated by labouring.

ive got
1. econs essay
2. GP essay
3. GP compre
and more! :(
not to mention i owe margaret jie badgework like 6 mths? hahahaha.

procrastination sucks, priority rocks!
jiaen knows what to do, do you? :D

ok im determine. im so gonna meet up with 1. hannah, lorry, jingle 2. ver, rox, sary, sarah 3. dione, kuanren

many random thoughts and highly disorganised post today.

pardon me.

I worship an Awesome God!

2007-04-23T17:47:00.000+08:00

hello hello my dearies! :)

if u count how many days its been since i last blogged, you'd get 14 days! haha thats exactly 2 weeks! so much for promising to blog at least once a week. haha.

anyway! last week's been busy, crazy, eventful :)

i finished 2 essays, one lit the other GP(general paper but i like to think that it stands for global peace ^^) and because of them, i slept late (1-2am) on tuesdays and wednesday. on thursday my classmates and i went down to VJ! (my dream jc haha) to support our boys soccer cause our classmate Augustus whom we all call Gus was playing as mid-fielder. he was great! and so were the other boys! they did SA proud by beating TJ (my 2nd dream jc haha) 3-0!!!! so exhilarated. we girls kept screaming "GO SA GO!" "Saints, saints, saints, saints, come on! come!!!" and the likes. till my thoart was sore!

so when i went out for dinner with matthew and serene i was considerably exhausted physically, mentally and even emotionally. hahaha and boy, it was an eventful meeting which let to much tears *^^* but it was God's way of resolving matters and i praise and thank Him for everything that had happened.

my walk with God has been nothing but spectacular, ok, maybe not that magnificient as to say spectacular but its good, its nice:) daily i seek God to fill me with his spirit and just as part of the bible which says something like God is living in me by His spirit! By his spirit i am more conscious of my identity as His child and of the power that i have from Him. not only so but also of His strength and His joy! :)) furthermore i have learnt from bible study that i have the gift of prayer and evangelism and im excited to fully utilise them for greater works for the Lord!

friday's prayer meeting was spectacular, indeed it was fully fitting of this word as God revealed to Ee foo that our ministry is like the valley of "dry bones" and he's calling us (the 8 ppl who attended the prayer meeting) as his Ezekial (prophet) to speak to the bones and rise them up as a mighty army for God.

something shocking happened during YPM on sat. During the time it happened i told God i didnt understant why its happening but i knew it was his will and plan that it took place and just kept praying in the spirit. and after speaking to 8 ppl(at different times and place) regarding the matter, God showed me through their views and takes that
1. there are many positive changes in YPM we musnt let anything get us down
2. YPMers are taking God more seriously and those who arnt ought to start taking Him seriously.
3. leaders of YPm must stand united
4. we must all pray and love God and men more and more.

i cant stress enough the importance of prayer although you might think of yes thats cause u have the gift of prayer but hey! prayer isnt exactly a gift and not that u cant pray if u dont have that gift. -.-"' look at the buddhist and muslim devouts! how many of them will tell u they cant or dont know how to pray? if we claim that we worship a Real and True God then why are we not praying to Him who will answer our prayer? Prayer not only shows u how real God's existence is, it also draws u closer to Him of which all in all, its great for ur whole being, physically, mentally and emotionally. Trust me. :)

ok let me give one eg of an answered prayer!
years ago, probably like when i was sec1 or 2, i felt that i didnt have any close friends that i could understand me. and Dione was not in my class so i felt realy sore and sad and sorry for myself. and i prayed that God will grant me friends that will be close and understand me. Now i have so many friends i can count on even though theyre not from my class. i have mingmin and yingling, natasha and vanessa! tho sometimes i dont really catch up with the last two but we all good frens and will become greater ones in future. (im sure ;))

before i end! (and proceed to do hw..)
i want to share with u guys that this week, other than tackling hw, ill be formulating my vision with God! ok rather im seeking God for HIS vision for me. In my personal life (im very interested to know if ill excel in sch haha) but more importantly, my walk with Him and the role i am to play in YPM.

vision aside, i have found/ discovered these weeks that currently, God's purpose for me is to bring people closer to Him. For both believers and unbelievers.

on a last note, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY VERENA! :)
it is my constant prayer that you'll draw nearer and closer to God that you might experience his abundant grace and love in all situations and circumstances. No matter what, may you never leave our Lord's arm of grace and may you always be a sweet delight to Jesus and all those around you! Rock on girl! :)

TOO MANY HEADINGS

2007-04-09T01:56:00.000+08:00

Dione! im so touched to know u check my blog everyday! hahah.. but really, i cant blog every other day cause school really is taxing! :( but im not the only one complaining! haha. :) but i'll do my best to blog at least once a week! cause an abandoned blog is not one i'd like to have! :D

haha to all my dear readers, do take a look at the brilliant 4A06 blog by my links. Dont be fooled by the address (!) because its current layout is the total opposite in meaning and its a sad yet true epitome of my last 2 years with respect to our form teacher.

i will show my ultimate support to this blog because 4A06 forms part of a beautiful memory in my life and I definitely hope that the friendships btw us will not disintegrate but continue to flourish and grow despite time and distance. Surely distances makes the hearts fonder applies not only to lovers. :)

well well i certainly remembered that i had in mind certain things to blog about when i have the chance to but voila! now when im on it every mental note has slipped away as though a torrant took away the post-it on my brain walls. -.-"'

ok talking about post-it reminds me of my Projectwork, Preliminary Idea research which i did in school library during my 2 hour break (1 and 1/2 hr of chinese which im exempted and 1/2 hr of break).

If u dont already know (for adult readers like Serene who didnt have silly A level subjects like Projectwork) there are 2 exam topics for each year. This year happens to be 1. Groundbreaker and 2. Entertainment with task assignments for the respective topics. personally i feel that these topics are relatively easy to handle but it precisely because it is easy that makes it difficult to score well among the whole cohort!

i decided to do on Groundbreaker because it is easier to establish rationals and links pertaining to the assignment questions asked. :) i shall, however, not divulge who i will do one because i have found someone Brilliant and rather unknown which makes my project all the more special and unique! hahaha. but oh wells, my team may NOT end up using my PI so there isnt much of a need to keep my Chosen One a secret.

but Nah, still, Im not gonna tell you who! hahaha! nanny nanny poo poo! ;D

so while i was researching on various inventors, i found information on the origin of Post-its! you must be interested if you do not already know about it.. haha right? Read on!

Man, the loading of the website which i am getting my information from is really slow. so meanwhile i will blog about something else!

about a discovery ive made about myself of late. i find that other than being Irritating, ( i believe u should have found me so after reading several such posts! haha!) I am Irritating because I am Assertive. ok, i better define Assertive before u go "wah seh, Jia En need you to throw Big Big words around and not explain not?" or "Huh? bua meng beh" (meaning don't understand in Hokkien"

Ok! the web has loaded to let me paste the info before i continue. haha what a cliffhanger.

Post-it was actually created not on purpose, but of convenience.

Spencer Silver had created a substance with the hopes it would be much stickier. In fact, his find was pretty much forgotten until years later when a second man named Art Fry remembered Silver's not-so-sticky substance.
Fry was sitting in church, seeking a way to easily access the various hymns in his hymnal. He had a brainstorm that Silver's creation applied to the back of paper could make it easier to flip back and forth to different pages. The two mad scientists got together, 3M (their employer) made a lot of money, and one of the most recognized brands in the world was born.
Today the two are equally credited with inventing Post-its -- one came up with the adhesive, and the other found a practical use for it. Goes to show it pays to get a second opinion before tossing anything, accidental or not, out the window. -http://ask.yahoo.com/20041220.html

alrighty! so dont u feel slightly more knowlegable right now? i remember hearing this story from someone who shared that our "mistakes" or accidental finds may prove to be an important and useful one! so dont belittle what small ideas can do! ok, the msg was something along that line, i kinda added my msg to it as well. haha! ;)

ok, let me get back to my self discovery.. to what Assertive is:

ADJECTIVE:
Inclined to bold or confident assertion; aggressively self-assured.
-http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/assertive

i discovered this when i was doing some self-reflection to why i was overly "fierce" and Irritating as my classmates call it after a Lit discussion. it is a serious matter in fact because i dont want to come across as someone who is too self-assuming and hence hurt others! and i am so sorry when i have been! :) i am learning to be just nice because being assertive is actually a good trait , just not to much of it.

so so! have you discovered something more of yourself lately? maybe its time to do so if you have not! Start by asking your friends what they think of you and for all you know, you might get very surprising and unexpected results! :D

IN GOD WE TRUST (the rest can pay by cash)

2007-04-01T23:27:00.000+08:00

my sis told me the joke but i dont understand it haha.
but yea, whats important is IN GOD I TRUST.

ytd i met up with MJ friends to celebrate Khai's bday!

it was interesting to go meet up with them with luke. haha now i know so much more bout him which i would have in 10 years... funny how ur new frens are ur old frens fren. :D

it was so heartwarming to meet up with them(read:sary sarah anmari)! cause i missed them a lot! there's a lot of stuff unseen in a relationship but yet its such stuffs that are dear to our hearts. such as being able to share about what's troubling us in our hearts. im glad to hear my frens sweet voices again!

ITS SO SAD THAT VER AND ROX were not there. :'( VER! i keep reading on ur blog how u met up with so-and-so.. i want my pretty face on ur blog that u met up with me! so make a date pronto! :)

heard from sary and sarah how 07A301 has changed and its like so sad!
if the martin guy is reading this you can jolly well go flush ur head the the loo and wake up! stop being mean and start being nice u fool!

sometimes, ppl have to be told like kids before they behave.

today serene treated me, nat, ming and isaac to WARUKU for lunch. hahaha expensive jap food which was ok, slightly above avg but not all that amazing. i ate a raw tuna with egg sushi! haha so adventurous of me right?

im 1/7 way in my marilyn monroe by andy warhol replica art piece. and here i am blogging.

oh yes im not joining SA drama anymore!
cause of a certain notorious Miss K who does not approve play proposal that are slightly controversial. tell me whats the pt of joining drama if theres no freedom for creative plays?

besides, if a senior from drama to tell u not to join drama doesnt that spells a lot?

SO im in ART CLUB! i really hope we can change our name maybe something like INNERSELF of something- ha! so abstract.

i want to be president of art club! i hope no one overrules. haha will my fellow art mates hate me for being so ambitious? :D

im also in environmental club! save the earth by saving the forests trees! whee! (influence from diana)

yes in GOD I TRUST
1/ currently praying over a Citibank funded CIP proposal although its only all talk no action its already overwhelming enough for me. i cant really imagine how itd be like when everything starts. i hope everything will fall into place. and our grp leader Leong Hwee is always sick and now Dennis broke his left arm -.-"'

2/ italy is confirmed to be priced at $3250 :( a lot of money that is!
thats why must trust God for the money cause even tho its a luxury he has assured me he'll provide. really! even my parents assured me so. i hope our sticker fundraising will earn more than our targeted $3000!(when u divide this by 30 students its so little!) hahahaha. i believe God will do more than what i can think or imagine!

ok a little digressing here : if u need help from God in whatever aspect of ur life, let me advise u NOT to limit what God can do with a ruler or box or measuring tape. Cause our God is one amazing being and loves to work in miracles so u can think "WOAH~! now THAT must be God at work cause humans cant do that! " haha cool right?

cool cool looking forward to another week of school with a heart full of pride and optimism! ;)

school, week 1 (only?!)

2007-03-27T20:27:00.000+08:00

hello there!

haha the tags are definitely entertaining... Naggy Fierece Teacher, u cant scare me la! hahahah. :D

anyway, my SA teachers' bark are fiercer than the bite, well at least for now i think.
they're all rather motherly/fatherly.

hmm really, 1st week into "proper" timetable and im like bushed! damn essays. spec:econs -.-'''
it better not be the proper timetable cause i just spent 3 hrs on breaks and sch ended at5.30?! today

at least there's art which i always look forward too, thank God i chose this sub which i love!

i really do think ive got a fine class.

i usually hang around with diana, sybil, rebecca and martin and ian. we really do talk about everything under the sky. and even the dark. hahaha!

its really interesting, like broadens my knowledge and makes me think of deeper topics. like pro choice or pro life?
haha im definitely pro life! :D no doubt bout it.

my class's a grp of jokers too. and im one of them. when we're together we just laugh a lot. esp during math. it makes us mad and looney and crazy and mental. ok u get my pt. hahaha.

gp was o.O infinitely boring. i was doodling for 80% of my time. i mean how can u possible summon any energy to be enthusiastic or speak up at 4.30 in the evening?! :( but i tried to catch what's gg on in class k. :D

tmr's our cca day! i get to decide what cca to join.

ive decided here goes:

Drama! its been like my lifelong hope to be in drama since pri but stuff keeps changing my decision. oh well, we'll see if i get to act in JC. :D

if not ill opt for SFC cause the christian scene is really lively in SA. itd be nice to be part of the lively and good affair!

thenthen ill go for ART CLUB and ill be the new president (cause currently they did away with it until Ms Chan finds someone who's charming, charismatic and able to attract hordes of ppl into Art. LOL)

really now looking again i should consider art club seriously cause they have a need for me right? ;D

alright updates on italy trip.

ms chan says we'll be holding a fundraising for the trip and we're gg to sell stickers! :D

so exciting.
bye my frens im gg to abandon u and go create sticker templates. wahaha.
ps. keep praying for lower italy fares for me pls k! :D

Blessed and Thankful

2007-03-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

Hello my friends!

It's my 4th day into school and lectures proper in SAJC and i just want to tell you that i feel so blessed and thankful la! ;)

1. i have yingling to go school with me
2. nice class with lovely classmates 07A09! ;)
3. a very lovely art teacher Ms Chan
4. there's gonna be an art trip to Italy in June and my parents allowed me to go! im super duper excited over it.. but but i have to fork out my spending there on my own. but hey! i still get to go so im super happy. i prayed about it before i asked my parents cause i thot they wont allow but they did! So Praise God and Thank Him! :D

really really i love SA by all means- the school identity thing is getting into me slowly but surely.

only bad point? - naggy fierce teachers that treat us like secondary school kids. we do know when to shut up, really. its only the minority that's talking so please, why are they going on and on about our behaviour as a whole cohort when its just the few cheeky black sheeps!

tell me if ure reading my blog. -.-'''

May-December romance

2007-03-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

haha ok yingling im posting! ;)

-----------------------------------------------------------

yingling was watching tv at my house (scv vv drama, she dont have that at home ;D)

then i was halfway thru my post (the one below) and i wanted to talk about yesterday's outing with her and today's outing with ming but turns out that TANYINGLING told me she may not make it for Fading Flowers.

Wah piang oei! damn hurting la. then for that split second i didnt know what to do then i starting to scold/lash her. LOL . pai seh yingling. people here so excited u coming to church tmr then u suddenly say cannot cause you want to support ur friends go superstar audition...

and im very mean cause i said that they wont make it :X sorry yingling's friends! i really hope you guys can have your dreams come true or at least go for your dreams, then next time when u look back you know at least you've tried and wont have regrets! :) and YL! tmr must come k cause ur bro say he'll go only if u go. i know you accepted Jesus already so dont need to receive Christ again, go church next week also can but ur bro have not accepted. though im sure there'll be more opportunities for him to possibly receive Christ, still i dont wish that he'll miss the one tmr! yesyes.. :)

hmm.. so pardon me for my bad attitude. it doesnt reflect well of someone who's trying to bring her friends to church. haha. i was really in a bad bad mood man. but now im all better. cant let anger get the better of me can i? ;)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so there let me go on to yesterday's and today's outing with 2 of my bestfriends!

oh no, ok ive got to talk bout the topic/title i set out to for today first.

i believe youve seen my title which is "December-May relationship". No idea what im talking about? dont worry cause i'll explain it all here to you! ;)

alright, rather yahoo will explain it to you!

The stuff Hollywood gossip columns are made of. Not to mention plenty of sappy movies and romance novels. It didn't start with Ashton and Demi, but the 27-year-old groom and 42-year-old bride could be the poster couple for May-December romances.

The term refers to a romantic pairing where one person is significantly older than the other. The age difference is at least a decade, but often more. The phrase comes from the younger person being in the "spring" of his or her life (i.e., May), while the older partner is in his or her "winter" (i.e., December).

i was saying in a post a few days before that i dont mind guys that are 2 years older/younger and its NOT a SIGNIFICANT age right...

in my opinion for a age-gap to be considered significant, it should be at least 7 years and above. yea.

so its NO-NO for demimoore-ashtonkutcher madonna-guyritche keenureeve-the9yrsolderlady!

note:

Picture 1: a good graphical representation of the age-gap.
mags say that Demi has to go more many many Botox to keep herself looking young.

Picture 2: shows us why their relationship must go on and we can totally understand it when reporters say Kutcher told Demi that she dont have to go for soo many Botox cause He'll still love her all the same. (but we doubt it yea)

---------------------------------------------------------
another new term that ive learnt today from joanna's CLEO mag is Stork-gun relationship/ marriage

ok its so new that even YAHOO! doesnt have its meaning / definition la. How cool is that. LOL

So, As the name suggest, Stork, the bird that is believed to bring new babies to their parents, implies that babies has got to do with this kind of marriage.

it actually means having children before getting married. in fact getting hitched or not is not a big deal!

famous celebrities examples are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie..

The Movie Mr and Mrs Smith that got them hooked on each other. I've watched this movie before and its pretty damn good. Their chemistry, the stunts, the action, the plot.

ok got this info from About.com:

Jolie adopted her first child, Maddox Chivan Thornton Jolie, a Cambodian infant, born on August 5th, 2001, with then husband Billy Bob Thornton.
Jolie's second child, Zahara Marley Jolie, an African child born January 8th, 2005. The child was first thought to be orphaned due to the AID's crisis.
It was later discovered that she was placed for adoption due to her birth mother's extreme poverty.
Maddox and Zahara were adopted by Brad Pitt, the biological father of Jolie's daughter, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.
Shiloh Nouvel was born in Namibia on May 27, 2006, by cesarean due to a breech presentation. Pitt was there to cut the baby's umbilical cord.

NOW she's just gotten her 3rd adopted child Pax Thien from Vietnam.

So Cleo Magazine says that Stork-gun marriages is the smart way for today's smart women. cause in reality the couple are "parents" to the kids even if theyre not married and in event they break up, its no big deal anyway. the woman gets the child and gets on with another rlnship -.-"'

well i believe such relationships really are only playable to celebrity figures to whom relationships last as long as the underwear that they wear. we should all bow down and pray that such nonsensical relationships played up by the media will not warp the world's idea of the sanctity of marriage. we should not allow such news to de- sensationalise wrong ideas such as premarital sex and broken marriages :)

in other words, after reading all this rubbish trashy news, we should not start thinking that "you know, break-ups, pre-marital sex, is NO BIG DEAL" cause those stuff are big deals alright!

ok lame i think everyone who reads my blog thinks the way i do. but if you dont, i hope you do already! do i sound persuasive enough? :D

haha I humbly declare that i've done the MOST research on this post than any other that ive done! and its been pretty interesting for me. i hope it was the same for you. halfway through i kinda felt like some mag reporter then wondered if im ever suitable for such a job. ;)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now to get back to my post proper, yesterday's outing with Yingling has been a most rewarding one. LOL. we went Metro-expo sale shopping and i got many many quality ( i stress) stuff at low prices. I dont believe that we should grab stuff just cause its cheap but i believe we should buy things on our mind for the lowest price possible CONSIDERING its quality and preference of course! So so Metro has been most rewarding. then we went Popular Sale which was kinda next door and it was CRAZY we queued almost 1 Hr ^&*(@#$% ?! just for purchases of less than $10. Silly right? people there were scary la, buying stuff by the basketsful and i think the savings from the sale were probably by the hundreds. ha!

note to YL: im not gg popular sale next time with you la, waste time queuing! :*

maybe you'd think we'd happily go home and retire for the day but we didnt! we went home to put our trophies down, took a brief rest and were up and on (pun intended: go see SAJC logo) to Orchard popular outlet for YL's dearest Fahrenheit diary of sorts.

Then then we totally impromtu decided to go Far East to shop (we had to ask a lady for directions and she happened to be a really pretty and high-class looking lady! it was so nice of her to give us directions!) YL was making a guess if she's a 1. rich tai tai who shops around Orchard cause she's bored or 2. an executive who knows orchard well. i think she's no. 2 cause tai tai wont be walking on the pavement/roads with us please!

so we intended to shop for a new watch for me and red socks for YL. we didnt see anything suitable but but I ended up seeing a Fred Perry bag!!! AH and i totally had to buy it. LOL. Tell me I need a bag. ;D

when i was in the shop hesitating to buy or not to buy, this girl came with 2 other girls and told her friends " Tell me i dont need a bag ". Like Wow, you mean it works meh. hahahaha.

from the ;D above i hope you have inferred that i DID buy the bag and kinda forgo my watch (no more budget sia)

so, will anyone sponsor jiaen $63 for the Nike wrist watch that she has got her eyes on? ;))))

the incredulous story of yesterday i believe was HOW i got the bag even without the shopkeeper around.

NO i didnt steal (if that's what u were thinking of) but a very kindhearted nearby shopowner whom i assume to be friend of the shopkeeper(she called her back but the woman too slow la) closed the sale for her to spare me and YL from further waiting. :D

anyway, the shop's called Soul'd Out like seriously the stuff once sold is sold out. a girl came after i got my hands on the bag and had to leave in pity cause i got the bag before her and that was the LAST bag left! haha! :D

when we were on the way home (like finally) we held hands like how girls like to right. and this guy-more like some punk- said loudly "wa lau eh Lesbians ah!"

i mean cant u see that we're two innocent GIRLS who are close friends? blind guy.

HAHAHHA we had a good a laugh after that tho. i so should have like went up to him and said " why, you have a problem with us?!"

at night, i went to YL's house to do her blogskin with her. so check out her blog by the side under the links-----> to see a pretty wu zun's blogskin and READ the rules on the blog. cause im sure u'd totally agreee with rule #3!!!! heheh.

then she came down to MY house to use my com and she stayed over at my room! ;) she even brought down her bolster. haha.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i met ming at novena velocity at 1 pm today which was totally cool for me cause i reached earlier and dont have to treat her bubble tea which i usually do cause of being late!

she got a nike bag from nike B.I.R.D. know what B.I.R.D. stands for? Birken International Retail Division! or something along that line.( i asked the sales person k) I dont know why Nike is liasing with them but oh well maybe its the Branding or something. i find the black polo with the B.I.R.D logo on the left side of the chest quite comical leh.

then then we decided to go Mustafa to take a look at watches there

when we were on the train to lil india, ming was making fun of a guy behind us by acting lesbian with me. like lame -.-"' i think the guy was a bit shocked or smthing. i couldnt see cause i was facing ming, he was behind me.

then i realised today i was wearing a shirt that says "PRAYER" infront and behind "In the name of God". its bad testimony to be caught acting lesbians so after realising that, we stopped our little prank. haha but even if i wasnt wearing the shirt we still shouldnt have done that right? but girls being girls... let us be girls. :)

we were quite proud of ourselves for being able to navigate our way to Mustafa (far far from lil india mrt station pls~!), with the help of kinds souls.

ok let me side line a little here. while i was waiting for ming at novena mrt, ( i was early, remember?) a lady approached me for directions to United Square and i had to ask around for her cause I'm not a Westie, dude!

i asked the lady at the ticketing booth and i think she was pissed cause she pointed to her left and said "The sign so big cannot see ah" of which indeed i saw a huge sign on the wall above the underpass "TO UNITED SQUARE" lol!

but please la aunty, of course im new to the place so must ask u right?

yaya, back to the story, tho i dont believe in karma but on hindsight it feels as tho its kindness that comes back one round kinda thing. now the world seems so much lovelier;)

so next time if people ask u for directions, dont say "sorry dont know" in a very indifferent typical busy sporean way but try to do the guy a favour and help navigate alright?! cause at the end of the day, u'd be blessed! :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

today at YPM prayer meeting we prayed for Benjamin. it felt almost like a Benjamin Prayer meeting instead. Serene, Matt, Ming, Van Tham, Alisha, Joanna, Gideon, Amelia and one more girl were present and i really had so much to pray for this meeting. the presence of God was strong or at least tangible and im really thankful to God for this meeting. we could have more ppl coming cept they were rehearsing for Fading Flower tmr! :D

praise God!

The end of all bliss-

2007-03-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking about this for the past few days... that is HOLIDAY is ENDING soon my friends!!! :((((

i've had FIVE months of "slacking" time. no chionging real school work. no real school pressures of work and cca. MAN it was almost FIVE months of pure BLISS. :)))) (well, cept some unpleasant experiences)

sososo... no more shopping at orchard/tampinesmall/novenavelocity until the end of next school term.

im going to be a total nerd! study my ass off and work really really hard :DDDD
yingling you promised to study hard with me yea~!

sososo expect a lot of "FINALLY! completed this and this homework"
"YAY! i managed to finish so-and-so work"
"WOOHOO i got this and that done!"

but more importantly i hope to be able to record exciting progress in my cell group, Benjamin! ;)

SO, if YOU have been following my blog, you should know that FADING FLOWERS is TMR!

i've invited Ying Ling, her bro Hong yu, Aiyu and her bro. I'm excited, happy yet at the same time kind of worried. I'm happy and excited because they are willing and able (sounds like econs) to come but im worried that they will not feel comfortable at YPM. but im gonna surrender all these worries into God's hands... as the normal logic goes cause this is essentially God's work. the work of the Holy Spirit to touch their hearts and grant them salvation :)

Poetic Post

2007-03-14T01:57:00.000+08:00

hey! blogger has yet to upload the post which i typed yesterday. :(

i think the lady who was reported on the papers for celebrating her 103rd birthday is faster than blogger. ha!

specially to Verena: God has placed u at NP mass comm and i believe its the perfect place for you. Maybe He's going to use you to impact tomorrow's media for Him! :) may u Shine for Jesus!

alright! im going to have my hand at writing a poem today ;)

adriel wong, an old friend, one whom i was acquainted to in primary school inspired me to do so.
check out his blog at the links on the right. ---->

ok let me sideline before i create a poem. i used to have a crush on my primary school friend Adriel Leong. haha i think most girls who are reading this blog should know. i haven seen him in ages but ive heard that he's doing well. im reminded of this cause 1. of another adriel who inspired me write poems and no. 2: i attended the last day of Ignite today and there was a workshop on BGR. i didnt attend that workshop cause i thought i wont need any advice on such matters any time soon :D FYO currently there no guy who's shown interest in me which is a yay thing for me. i find relationships can be quite troublesome. (from fren's experience, not mine) lets just all be friends for now, less cumbersome. no strings attached.

in relation to this workshop, someone asked me what kind of guys i liked today. i didnt tell that person what characteristics i look for in a guy. umm i dont think adriel fits into the criteria anymore. LOL. i think he doesnt play the guitar.

haha so, my dream guy's someone who's
1. God-fearing - he must be able to challenge me to seek God more fervently.
2. Plays the guitar and sings along - haha this is lame but i dream of someone who's able to sing a love song to me and play the guitar at the same time :D
3. Intellectual - someone who'll challenge my knowledge, share with me on new areas/topics. He should be able to have decent discussions and debates with.
4. Sensitive, humorous and understanding - need to explain?
5. Tall! - say 170 and above :D

im fine with guys 2 years older/younger.

umm... im not looking for any such guys right now cause all im concentrating on is God and studies. tho i know many people who already fit into this criteria but theyre most probably not interested in me la. all in all, i'll just wait for God to send the "perfect match" he has for me. i'm in no hurry. but i hope when he comes, he'll fit all these 5 criterias! :D

back to poem writing:

i shall have to pick a topic first. ok...... let's see i want to dedicate my 1st online poem to Jesus!

Ruler of my Heart

His name is Jesus
The Royal Highness of my heart
He came to save us
On the cruel cross did he part

My Lord and Saviour
The most beloved of my heart
Tells me "I am here"
"No matter the darkness of your heart"

My friend and my king
Holds the key to every heart
Daily i will sing
Just for the Ruler of my heart

WAH SEH not easy at all man. im such an amateur cause tho the poem rhymes its only because i repeated the heart several times. but i guess it adds to the effect of Jesus being the center of my heart and the regular rhythm can be likened to the heartbeat. ;) my heart beats for Christ!

alright i hope this inspires u to write a poem of ur own! ;)

poem writing is cool but i will primarily write in proper paras cause poems can be difficult and time-consuming to create and i am able to air my views better through proper sentences.

i'll try to inject poems as and when i can cause i like how poems make a post more beautiful literaturally. (haha no such word.)

jiaen <3 jesus
ernie <3 you!

IGNITE ME

2007-03-13T01:28:00.000+08:00

hello again!

into the 1st day of Ignite Conference 2007. i still feel i got much out of the conference as much as i did in the past 2 yrs.

for those who dont know what Ignite is, its a Christian Youth Meeting where 900++ youths and youth pastors in asia and esp Spore gather to attend sermons, workshops all to satisfy our hunger and desire to know more of God's power, to experience Him 1st hand and to receive more of His anointing.

i simply love Ignite Conferences because every year i attend, i grow in intimacy with the Lord and my walk with Him progresses to a higher level. its a wonderful testimony and i really encourage all Christians to attend the LAST and FINAL night rally at night, 7.30pm at Bethesda Cathedral located at Chai Chee Rd (near bedok mrt). and as the saying goes, the BEST is saved for the LAST. FYO, if u dont already know, i stay at Chai Chee, so just SMS me if u want to come and ill meet you. ;)

i can guarantee u will be listening to the best sermon of the yr by humourous and anointed foreign evangelist/church leader Pat Schatzline. you'll also be enjoying the best praise and worship sessions in town. it really is that good, not only because of the organisers and band but because of the presence of God that is O, so strong.

i realise i do recognise or am acquainted to many people attending Ignite, ex ahs friends from Cornerstone, Mj/Sa friends, SHPS friends, ex-tuition friend. it is heartwarmin to know we're all praising and serving the same lord but at the same time i do wish to see more new faces which signifies new souls claimed for God's kingdom, ignited to do more of His work.

It's the March Holidays! but it doesnt really feel like it yet. one week will pass real soon, esp with Ignite and Fading Flowers. i really hope many many people will come to Christ thru these 2 events!

please pray with me that my neighbours will accept my invitation to Fading Flowers. One visit to church is all they need for a life of eternity.

its my sister's 18th birthday today! Happy Birthday to Jia Hui! poor thing studying for tests. thats why im always grateful for my birthday in July, can enjoy it w/o having to mug.

oh btw, im using the net thru a BRAND NEW com which is about 3 days old! cool eh! my dad's friend bought this com for us. ;) Thank God!

i will put up a link to an online album soon, as soon as i get the time to organise the stuff. So keep a look out for pictures! ;)

learnt in Ignite today that we should:

Learn to count your blessing, not just your sacrifices.

NEW SCHOOL------> IMMA SAINT! (once again;))

2007-03-08T18:29:00.000+08:00

HELLO ONE AND ALL (doesnt quite make sense but sounds nice) i regret to tell you that the post that i took half an hour to type yesterday was GONE because of silly internet connection problems. :(

i wont repeat it wholesale but i'll just type the gist of it now. so if it sounds abrupt or disconnected, forgive me cause it took me half hour to build up the "emotion/climax", dont expect me to do the same now right? ;)

ytd was perhaps a very confusing day for many JC1 school goers.

most of which held hopes in their hearts that their appeal to a certain school would be successful and so pinned and waited for the whole day only to feel the sadness and remorse when the hurting and ugly truth dawned on them that they will never get in that school they dreamt of, wanted so badly to get in.

put some, perhaps like me realised the possibility of an appeal being rejected, boldly and bravely faced the new school, friends and programmes that were taking place. i am so surprised by the courage and enthusiasm i had when i applied for pre u seminar. i even persuaded yingling to go with me and she did. 8) love you! yes, i really really want to go for it because i could meet my MJ friends and have fun. but to make such a decision to represent SA when i had no sense of SAINTS identity or whatsoever?! the application was to be handed in before 5 pm ytd!

oh and i when to seat for an art aptitude test to see if i could take up Art as my h2 subject which i really really hope so cause i cant imagine studying boring Hist for next 2 yrs of my life.

and my OG played pictionary which i really enjoy cause i like to doodle/draw ;)

i really thank God for enlightening me that the path that is given to me is the best i can receive from him. i really felt at ease in the new school. it feels so good to start new, knowing well that i am prepared to make the best of my 2 years in SA and study really hard.

i thank God too for my family, yingling, mingmin, natasha, vanessa, serene, matthew, trent, dione, kuanren, taiyong who cares and prays for me. who makes the effort to keep in touch with me, to know the happenings in my life. THANK YOU my loves! :D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To my dearests who just received O/A lvl results, to all those out there who are about to start a new phase of their life:

i just want to share about my experiences and feelings regarding this whole growing up phase as we all are struggling (not showing tho) to make sense of it all and be able to enjoy this process.

as we move on to another chapter of our lifes, we realise that time is really finite and when we think of the dreams we had when we were young and how far and distant some may seem now, we may be demoralised or stressed that we cannot afford to make any mistakes now or we will suffer the consequences of it in the future.

but no man is divine, humans are bound to err and this does not mean we are to be labelled as failures for the rest of our lives. as long as we recognise the mistake, learn from the mistakes and pick ourselves up, we can still face the present and the future with a smile.

DONT let past failures define you or restrict you. the past cannot be changed but the future is still ours to mould, to make of what we want it to be. take with you the valuable lessons learnt but dont let fears hold or tie you down. BE the person you always wanted to be, NOW. because there just isnt any other time for you to act the way you really want to unless you make the choice.

i do think i am typing this as a letter to myself, to know that i can still be proud and confident of myself because my identity is found in Christ, He alone, not in results, looks or wealth. i pray that as we all trudge along this long and dreary road of life, we will find comfort and renewal in Christ.

end of the gist of ytd. (ok it was LONG)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hahaha. 2nd day into SA life, getting familiarised with the school compound, seniors and of course my lovely OG mates.

well as you should have inferred by now, my appeal to TJ was not successful and i received the confirmation sms last night.

hmm but im ok, no doubt im sad ( tj is only 2 bustops away, never have to worry id be late for school!) but SA's really the next best option, logically(not just based on my opinion) because of its ranking + convenience and its good-looking uniform. haha. (wikipedia says it has the arguably coolest JC uniform) hahaha ;)

thats why me and yingling both so enthusiastic, bought the school uniform today already! maybe i'll take a picture and post it up in the future to show u guys alright?

wet games today bonded my OG closer but a pity a handful of them left early and didnt join us. im soo red now cuz the sun was really shining brightly on us at the track where we played the station games.

andandand!!! ROX, SARAH, SAM with 2 other new mj guys came to SA today! i was so plesantly surprised to see them! ;)

i had pre u sem and art interview... i didnt think i did very well but i really pray that i can get selected for both. will post the results when i know.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
off to watch HANA KIMI a drama with WUZUN a member of the taiwanese boy band Fahrenheit which ying ling is totally crazy over! she and I went on a Wuzun sticker/poster hunt at Century Square and Whitesands. finally found 3 posters which she has since pasted them on her room walls. lol. i dont see the point of wastin time and money on them cause its just a fad, it will die away eventually (like F4 anf 5566) i just watch them for entertainment which is certainly their business as they do it for a living. haha!

id rather spend my time idolising my hero Jesus! ;)

2007-03-06T21:21:00.000+08:00

HEY MY FREN! THIS IS THE POSTER I TOLD U ABOUT!
NICE RIGHT?!

PLS! If ure seeing it for the 1st time, and u want to come, SMS me! i bring u there ok! ;)

hahaha.

my post is titled "a queeeer day", a title inspired by my fave pig, mingthemonster.

we're pretty sad today, ming, yingling, me.

we didnt get into the JC of our choice.
after i got back my O's results weeks ago, i cried like mad i cried like crazy. i felt like a total loser, like the whole education shit failed me.or rather i failed the whole education assessment thing.

but i realised my person as a whole is not defined by education/cambridge standards. SUCCESS IS NOT DEFINED BY ACADEMIC QUALIFICATION. there is so much more SUCCESS can be defined as, such as relationships, character, walk with God. ;) and they MEAN SO MUCH MORE than a stupid CERT.

i did my best, didnt I?! so since God gave me my plate, i should accept it, tho with unwillingness but gratefully. ( i know no matter what i still have to accept it unless i spit and retake O's, but i really mean that its the ATTITUDE of reacting that matters)

now i really feel so much more at peace and i want my frens to experience this peace i have but i dont know how to say/explain to them how to get it. mine came from a series of self-discovery and prayer (including fren's and family's). so all i can do is to sincerely pray for them.

EVENTUALLY we all have to resign to the fate God gives us but really, it all boils down to the attitude of how we react aint it?! Do it with a smile and gladness i say. ;)

tmr WILL be a better day, we always go through SO much and we can always say, we've gone through it, we can go through much more, tmr will be a better day.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

we're done with the serious stuff so let's get on with the FUN FUN ones ok! :0)

eh... let's start with MJ 07A301 won FIRST for lit drama! im lagging like 1 week but yes we rock alright! ;) im just really so so happy we won ok! the other groups were so good, comical and professional infact. i missed the 1st skit but the video film was really impressive when we saw it we were like "oh no sure lose la"....

but HEY! the teachers gave us the thumbs up! cause our script was FABULOUS, all thanks to Charis and Aradna! i seriously think they can be theatre/play scriptwriters, fantastic journalist in the near near future man! ;) and we had like wonderful actor/actresses, kudos to Javier, Sarah, Mong, Fana, Verena the leads and the fairies- me, eleanor, melissa and heng en!

then for the Hist seminar on saturday was interesting.. but i still cant believe ACJC won 3rd cause theirs was entirely abstract with long long long scripts like SO WHAT. argh. MJ should have won ok! i mean we had an impressive cast/actors/actresses...

i really liked NY's skit tho, the whole french accent thing made me smile and inspired me a lot hahahaha. and YUCK i dont like CJ's skit. JUST CAUSE they had a FLAPPER?! HURH! i can be a MOLLLL so so so so so so!! argh. ok LOL i just realised if ure not in my class u will have NO idea what im ranting on. Sorry!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
come YESTERDAY's 07A301 class outing! my 1st and last! :(

we tea-ed at SWENSEN i had YAM icecream and it was... sweeeeet! hhahaha
we camwhored like no one's business and i had a really relaxing day. i love 07a301! they're the blessing i count, each and every person! for 1st 2 months.

verena
roxanne
sarah
sary
javier
mong
ezra
charis
aradna
melissa
hengen
charmaine
eleanor
seokhan
chailing
chiulee
sham
fana

im really glad to say i got to know each one personally, small chat/long chat more than once! ;)
tho i didnt make the effort to share Christ with them, i hope somehow i positively impacted to her.

to verrr, rox, sary, sarah

hey babes! i really thank God that ive got u guys to keep my company through my 2 months in Mj. U guys are the reason why i look forward to school, made my day and made me smile. (i know i made u guys smiled more. ;) thought i wont be in MJ anymore, i still hope to be a part of ur lives and i wish u guys all the best in school, relationships and everything! i love you! God bless you! 8)

specially to verrr: no matter what what happens, its the best from God! ;)

praypraypray-

in meridian school library waiting for soccer trng to start

2007-02-28T13:23:00.000+08:00

aye! :) im cold and hungry now. was supposed to come library to watch a show on history with sham but mrs ng isnt around to provide the show. instead of gg to the canteeeeen im here to blog instead! haha ive got lots to say.

stuff for today:
1.today's pe was so much fun. played badminton with classmates and neighbourin classmates. i love sweating it out with friends.

2.my math teacher mr ng totally rocks. he's gg at sloooww pace but its just right for me and i GET what he says. i sooo fear that when i go another jc i wun be able to get a tcher as good as clear as he. then id probably die for a level maths.. unless i have an excellent tuition tcher. which reminds me i didnt go for my 1st tuition class of the yr yesterday. i approached my neighbour, Alvan, who took F-math for a level (lastyr)and he says's he'll teach me. i hope he's good and i score well for math this yr!

3. i skipped it cause i was printing YPM evangelistic outreach posters and publicity cards with matthew at roxy square. i designed the cards, matthew gave some advice on the font placings and i think they look real prettty! :) hence i was feeling pretty accomplished, thankful, grateful to God for the rest of the evening. happy!

ill upload them to show u when im home.

4.i was really sleepy this morning. took lynn's mum car to school. lynn's fren's fren whom i made frens with in MJ. she stays at blk 804 while i at 803. :) so cooool eh? now i shall hitch rides from lynn's mum. (2 -3 more days left LOL)

5. me and rox went crazy at history lecture/tutorial. we were playing charade & pictionary on paper while mrs ng was gg on. :P she made me guess a 1000 legged worm and i was like "caterpillar"? then "the 100 legged worm?" it was just damn hilarious.

5. during tutorial, when chai ling was presenting her answers, the visualiser went off colour. i commented that the paper which was screened was "magic paper" and changes colour and it was a gift from me.

then rox asked "why didnt u give it to me?"

"you damn bitch" with a grimace on her face.

LOL. we love makin fun of each other.

ok ok i gotta go lit rehearsal starts at 1.45. lit drama performance tmr! :) i need to break a leg.

First Post of the YEAR!

2007-02-26T01:06:00.000+08:00

HEY!

i know youve been missing me and my updates for 1345678276546787years

sorry bout that! ive been wanting to post but held back till ive got a new skin. haha.

i remember i was talkin to taiyong about the changing skin thing and he commented that girls are so fickle and guys are more faithful but i pointed out that changing skins had nothing to do with being faithful. HAHAH.

i also wanted to add the COMMENT function on blogger but i dont know who to. will anyone teach me? email me at preciousicyflame@hotmail.com. i feel its better than tagboard cause comments retain at the post and both u and i can refer back to it conveniently. :) and tagboards always die on me. argh.

loads of things had happened so much so that i felt jan2007 was the worse start of any year i ever had. and i wished to swear bout lots of things but then again i dont want to. haha. Thank God instead for all the stuff- messy bad good happy sad. all of em. made me grow stronger wiser hopefully lovelier eh? hahaa.

if youre still wondering,

im currently studying at Meridian JC but wont be there anymore after THIS WEEK cause it aint in any of my 3 choices i submitted for JAE. dont ask, you wont want to know the reason why and i wont say. ive told about just as many people that i want to already.

its not about my classmates, cca or friends that i hang out with. in fact, theyre GREAT!

i have SOOO much fun with them. the fits we end up in, the lunches, recesses we share, the relationships we talk about are all so memorable. Sary, Sarah, Verena, Roxanne, Anmarie- theyre the loveliest, craziest, wackiest bunch of people in school. ill definitely miss them and want to stay in touch even when we part. theyll be stayin in mj tho im not. :( im kinda worried i wont be able to have such good/close frens when i go to a new jc. but ill leave those worries in the hands of God. ;)

so where will i be gg if im leavin MJ? hhaa wait for 1 more week and i'll announce when postin results are out on tuesday, 6th march.

ive had the loveliest weekend this week since the longest time ever.

NUS history seminar made me wake up at 7.15 on sat so i could rush dwn and support 07A301 who acted in the history skit. im so proud of myself that i made my way there all by myself- ok not without the help of verena who told me which bus to take from clementi interchange. its crazzily far la! took at least 50 min on train of which i was nodding off on.

after which rox, ver and i had lunch at MS and shopped around a lil. (:
then i met MING at church and made our way to BAYSHORE.. we TRESPASSED it to go SWIMMING. haha not exactly trespassin cuz we KNOW ppl who stay there except that she's abroad and not at home. lol. we had SOOO much fun i love being with Ming.we're each other's dearest pig. this sounds so mushy but yea. i love her! we sang songs in the sauna. hahaha.

nothing much this sun. had brunch with serene, ming, and loads other church people at this HK style food place at katong. food was quite good but slightly costly.

i bought WOW worship aqua! im still gaga over it cause it has such FAB songs in it! i was debating over whether to buy this or another cd but i figured it dint really matter which cause both has WHO AM I by casting crown. its such a great song! :) bought this in the end cause it has a sligtly larger collection and better known singers(accordin to ming). haha.

im supposed to paint sarah's mask for dance but ive yet to do it. i sucha procrastinator.
watched the italian job. wasnt as good as i imagined it. serene told me she watched in thrice cuz she so loves the minicoopers on the show. but i dont think its worth rewatchin so many times leh. its a bit draggy at parts. and the exciting parts (eg when they were transportin the gold bars on the road) were too short and not exciting enough. LOL.

2006-11-21T22:15:00.000+08:00

HI! long tym no see! hahhaha

its been 4 days since O's ended! woohoo!

been out everyday since! very fun. :)
since a picture speaks a thousand words, i'll let the pictures do the talking and rest my fingers. heh.

17NOV lastdayofOs!!!
at marina bay's arcade after steamboat dinner!
No, we didnt break any rules by entering with sch u. they allow students in u aft 6pm! xD

6 of us played daytona. never had so much fun in arcade before! heh im a coutry mellow (= meiren, not bumpkin) x)

18NOV
On the train to cityhall
saw this really cute baby boy sleepin on his dads shoulder!

Pity it was dark on the train cant really capture this lil' dude's cute features.
See his LONG eye lashes! *envious!

Natasha! Ming's taking a pic of her with her new sony hp.
taking shots while waitin for food to be served at fish and co.!
they had fish chips while i had prawn fetuccini with chilli and cream sauce! Vanessa and tim joined in later!

alright man! we saw this street performer. all silver!
quite scary! they drew a huge crowd around them.

there's a box infrnt of them for cash and when someone did out in money, they'd twitch and manoevure their hands in gratitude. cool!

Some bank was giving our free yeos drink and candy floss!
Ming and I definitely had to satisfy our sweet tooth and relive childhood times! Van took this great pic!x)

21NOV
Lunch at Marina Square Yoshi!
See how sad Guangshun looks when Clinton rejects his food! LOL.. GS's eating food that the girls cant finish cos "bu ke yi lang fei shi wu!"

Me and pretty Valerie :)

Man the toilet looks so good! Liwen and me in this badly-taken- but-turn-out-pretty-good pic! haha.

Dont we look quite intimidating walkin around in such a hugee bunch? heh!

Oh look at the dazzling shiny purple Christmas deco balls! Love em! Make real gd pic background. pity we didnt stop to take la.

Look! even their shadows look like planned motifs on the floor!

2006-08-20T16:34:00.000+08:00

Hey! ok been quite some time since ive posted.
so today's post will be a long one. :) it'll include, (wah like some freebie package like that)
1. my reflection for an extraordinary national day that i had and spent with my church members.
2. more reflections of the past mth xD
3. aspirations, shout outs, love notes
and.. just a little digressing here, i dunno what's up with my tagboard but im kinda lazy to fix it la. x

My reflection for the St. Luke’s Hospital visitation can be summed up in three words. They are Meaningful, Saddening and Touching.

Meaningful
Spending my morning at St. Luke’s Hospital was meaningful for me because of the smiles on the patients’ faces while we sang and when we interacted with them. It warmed my heart when I saw the elderly faces brighten up even as we sang with our not-so-perfect voices. It felt good to know our presence mattered to these elderly when they thanked us for coming down to visit them.

Saddening
I doubt it if anyone who visited St. Luke’s hospital and did not leave it with a tinge of sadness in his heart. There are so many sorry sights in the hospital wards. Patients so ill that they have to be fed through tubes and many who have lost their ability to walk and talk.

There was a particular Indian lady who left a deep impression in me. Not only did she seem to have lost her sanity but she seemed very troubled as well. But there was nothing we could do as we did not understand the Malay words she was muttering.
When I went up to her, she held on to my hand and gestured me to help her get out of the bed. But the nearby cleaner told us she cannot leave the bed so I could not accede to the Indian lady’s request. At that moment, sadness swelled up in my heart and I wished from the bottom of my heart that if only I could do something to lessen her troubles.
The lady held on tightly to my hand and refused to let go so Calvin came to help me loosen her grip on me- but ended up in her grip. Then we heard the lady on the neighbouring bed laughing at us. In her laughter she told us the Indian lady never had any visitors and is always heard calling out in despair for her child. It is so sorrowful that one can still laugh at another’s unfortunate circumstances when they are on the same boat.

Calvin did escape from the lady’s grip eventually and as we were sanitizing our hands at a nearby sink, Calvin said that those ladies had a good laugh at our expense but we shouldn’t be bothered by it. I definitely didn’t hold anything against the laughing ladies in my heart but I was deeply saddened by this incident.

Touching
There were many sweet memories at the hospital as well. I remember a particular lady with curly white hair who appreciated Ivan’s performance of Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin very much that she hummed along as he played the song on his saxophone. It was touching too when the ladies hold my hand and thank me for visiting them. While many elderly were touched by our presence, we are similarly touched when they clap smile warmly, showing their appreciation for our coming.

Conclusion
There is so much we can do for these elderly as they spend their last days on earth. There is so much more we can to cheer these elderly up each day such as adding more colours to their dull-coloured wards. And I know all these needs money, which the hospital is probably in short of already. So the least that can be done is to interact with the elderly, which they appreciate a lot, to have someone to talk with in their boredom instead of just watching the small black box. (television set).
I am also reminded from this hospital visitation to appreciate what God has given me- a healthy body, family and friends who love and care for me genuinely and a colourful school environment to grow up in. There are so many things that I have taken for granted but actually mean a lot. I cannot imagine losing the basic human ability to walk. At the end our human lives, the things that hold dear to us are not the property of cash we own, but the relationship and ties that hold. I truly thank God for this experience that has allowed me to think deeper about life and be thankful for it. I pray deeply that the patients in St. Luke’s will find the purpose God has for them in their lives and claim healing in the power of His name.

At the field near the National Stadium.
Oh I can only wish that the evening could have lasted longer! The sunset, the Red Lions (15 parachutes in all), the apache, F-16 and the fireworks were definitely more beautiful and gorgeous seen live and heard (for the planes) in its full force.

Needless to say, I had a joyful time kicking the soccer ball and playing the 2 in 1 hand games with my lovely Benjamites.

The wonderful day ended sweetly at Ashton, a shop with a wonderful ambience, service and food! Thank God for National Days (and the holiday that come after)! xD

Ok, THE END for National Day. Now you're reading More Reflections for the Mth:)!

If you're wondering how ive been lately, i must say i'm not in my best of days.
I conked out (meaning No sch (told mum i had a headache, which u'll have too if you didnt sleep well for 4 days), dwellin in self misery, burn out, spending your day watching tv after failed attempts to study)
on friday because

for ONE:
ive been having WEIRD Dreams for every, single night the whole friggin week(days).
so bcos of these non-sensical, silly, energy zapping/sapping dreams, i felt/was tired/legthargic for the whole week. SAD eh. the dreams include schmate gets pregnant?!, me and sis running in dirty alley, hairdresser invites me to new salon?! super lame ones.

SECONDLY
i was stressed out with my O's art coursework. i keep thinking of
-1. how much more i have to do (which is quite substantial, urgh)
- 2. how i dont know how i should do it (ive never painted faces before and then im gg to do it for Os! crazy
-3. i had a beautiful plan worked out, by when i must finish what but then obviously i couldnt keep up with it. x( *cries out aloud

Thirdly
I couldnt keep up with my plan for revision as well. and i was pressurized by my inhumanely-but-sweet-and-nice friends who are way ahead of me in their revision. =X

for this whole week, i did my quiet time daily except for friday (when i was dwelling in self pity and just watchin tv) which i totally regret. because if i had done my quiet time, i would have been reading about the Peace of God. (on my daily devotional material, Everyday with Jesus.)

Fortunately i picked myself up on saturday afternoon(i awoke at 12.30 xD) and i prayed to God for a fruitful time of revision and i believe there and then, he began to empower me. i went to Vanessa's hse to study till 4.30 then attended YPM service and Rusty Russell spoke on John 15, about Abiding in God's Love, Word and Joy. I really thank God for the service because i was once again filled, refreshed and touched by the Holy Spirit. i cannot describe how wonderful it is to experience God's assuring love and peace. and it is my prayer that all my friends will come to experience this sweet, sweet and unconditional love for themselves.

Life will always have its troubles, difficulties, mountains and "hardness" no matter where and who you may be. i believe my week that ive just described above is a pea/nothing compared to what we all have to face in our lifetimes and i cannot imagine how much worse i'd feel/be or you'd feel/be without the power and grace of my almighty Father.

From today, i'd love to face each day with the ever-renewing love, joy and peace of God in me and claim victory and success over all the things i do and face. x) and i pray that i might or my friends will constantly remind me that Apart from the Lord, i can do nothing. Serene just told me today that she believes God wont give us anything that will keep us apart from Him. that means if acadamic success will keep me apart from God, he wouldnt give it to me. That's why i must all the more draw nearer to Him so that He'll grant me the desires of my heart.

i believe i cannot be driven my any other success (acadamic or money for instance) other than being a Jesus-lover success. because the last week just showed me how miserably ive failed when i tried to be driven my acadamic success. Its simply too competitive and stressful that i burn out in just one week. therefore, i will be more driven to be Jesus-lover success.

Now, what does it take to be a Jesus-lover success?
1. to Love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength
2. to love my neighbours as myself.

and to see the fruits of our labour (Jesus and me)
- friends to accept the invitation of entering into his kingdom of Love
- a holy and righteous life, testimony to all.

Shoutouts:

Lorry: Hey sweetie! haha chocie is more apt since you love chocs so much... you've improved remarkably in your weaker subjects and i'll pray for you that you'll perform well for prelims and get into your choice JC. i guess the stress is on but i hope you wont lose the cheery disposition you use to have and will continue to face the world with a smile! i urge you to take a keener interest in Christ because life is only FULL (in terms of purpose, joy and love) when you have Him in your heart. Jesus Loves You! So much that he died on the cross for you.

Hannah: Hey Babe! your're always the centre of attention and it never fails to amaze me how you can cope with the immense stress and accomplish so much revision despite your busy schedule. It delights me too when you give all glory to Christ for these accomplishments. but ive got to say that we must all strive to live a life that will be worthy God. we've reciting this verse from Timothy before: Dont let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. No doubt, you've exceeded whats expected in the 1st part of the verse but let's work on the second part together yea? Let BE AN EXAMPLE for the believers(and non-believers as well) and live, speak and act in Love. We're going thru a trying period and i sincerely hope you'll NOT burn out. Let's draw strength and peace from our Almighty. Remember, Satan's been defeated and Jesus has given us the victory!

Bunneh: heyhey! i really hope you'll put the passion you have for God into ACTION! by reading his word. praying to him and allowing Him to lead you in your life yea? Trust Him to led you thru all the troubles you may be facing now. im encouraged by the simple disposition you have towards life and i hope you'll keep it, despite how things and situation may change. We can always put our faith in Christ because He never changes. He's the same, yesterday, today and forevermore. You need to entrust your cares unto God and open up to Him and His love will fill u up, like water overflowing from a well. Let the power of God transform you! i pray God will grant you his wisdom, mercy and grace we tackle prelims and Os and the other major stuffs in our lives.

i shout out to those i think will read my post. xD if you want a shout out, tell me and i'll do it face to face or write out one for u k? xD

Rejoice cos this is the day that the Lord has made!

2006-07-17T18:55:00.000+08:00

Rejoice! cos this is the day that the Lord haas made!
This is the day that God has made Jia En, 16 years ago!

a very BIG thank you to all who have been with me through tears and joy the past 15 years of my life. its not just a day that matters, so even though i'm disappointed i admit, when friends, especially close ones dont remember my birthday, its ok because i remember how they've always been nice to me on those ordinary days and i thank God for them.

but for those friends who've been so sweet and thoughtful to make this day extra special for me, i thank you from the bottom of my heart. i know what it's like to go through the effort to make someone's day extra special and it warms my heart to know they are happy. So i want you to know that i really appreciate the thought even though i may not fancy the gift. x)
Thanks to:
Joanna, Kuan Ren, Pearl, Dione, Hoyan, Yuan Ling, Christen, Kay Howe, Quan Heng, Isaiah and Bunneh for the lovely gifts.
Thanks especially to hotbabes Loretta, Hannah and Valerie for the sweet gift and spending a wonderful day with me. lunching and watching movies with u ppl makes it all the more memorable and exciting!

and of course i must thank you if you've called or msged my to wish me a happy day! I want to share all the blessings my friends have asked God to bless me with all my friends and i pray they will get double the portion that God blesses me with!

it may be my birthday but i want God to bless you all instead!

May the good Lord bless you,
may the good Lord bless you,
may the good Lord bless you~
May the good Lord bless you!

I've said it before here but i want to say it again because it means a lot to me.
I only have one wish today and that is that my friends will believe in Jesus, my Lord and Saviour. and the best thing to say or way to make my day would be to tell me that because of my existence, you want to know more about God.

Its GB day today! Happy GB day my friends! xD

Kuan Ren wrote me a verse that i already love before she wrote it for me).

Please read it a share the joy with me!:

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Get up and going!

2006-07-04T20:06:00.000+08:00

I'm so in love with the japanese manga Vampire Knight. Argh.

why are the worldly stuff so addictive? LOL.
thinks how God can be addictive to me. :D
the story's about this really cool school called Cross Acadamy with the Day and Night classes. Day classes are for normal school goers while Night classes actually consists of Vampires and this is unknown to all except Chairman, founder of Cross Acadamy who believes and advocates peace and harmony between the human and vampires. then theres the Yuki, the heroine of the series who's torn apart between her two lovers Kaname Kuran! (oooh i totally support him!) and Zero Kiriyu.

Kaname Kuran is a trueblooded vampire (meaning there's no human ancestry). He's the last of Kuran clan and he belongs to the highest class of Vampires. Every vampire in Night Class fears him and calls him "Master Kuran"

He happens to be Yuki's benefactor, having saved her when she was 5 and on the brink of being killed by a deranged human vampire. Human vampires are humans that are bitten by true blooded vampires and turns into a vampire. Only true-blooded vampires can turn humans into vampires. Kaname requests Chairman to take care of Yuki and Chairman accepts her as his foster daughter. Saying he cannot reject the request of his benefactor's only son. (no explanation regarding this matter though)

Yuki have no memory of her life before she was 5. when she was 11, Chairman brought back a boy called Zero who's belonged to a family famous as Vampire Hunters and his whole family was wiped out by a trueblooded female vampire who have returned to wreak revenge. Zero was bitten by the true blooded vampire and have been resisting the temptation to drink blood for the past four years...

The story starts of with a day in Cross Acadamy and Yuki and Zero(year one, student councillors) maintainin the order when Day students exit while Night Students enter classrooms. In the first book, Zero expresses his disgust for vampires saying they are beasts in human form. but sadly he can no longer supress his thirst for blood (after like twice running away from Yuki who keeps chasing up in concern for him) and sinks his teeth into Yuki's neck, gulping blood away from her.

at this point, Kaname is requesting Chairman to transfer Zero into Night class as he is aware of Zero's condition that he will reach the turning point soon. Kaname smells blood in the air and immediately runs to the source, where Yuki and Zero are.

Kaname pushes Yuki behing him, looks at Zero the way he looked at the human vampire who threatened Yuki 10 years ago and Yuki rushes to defent Zero screaming He musnt kill Zero then faints. Kaname then picks Yuki, scorning Zero for drinkin her blood mercilessly that she has fainted and asks if Yuki's blood really tastes that delightful in disgust(and very jealously).

When Yuki wakes up, she claims she's really fine and Kaname checks her wound. remarking that Zero dug his fangs deep, causing the gasping wound. He asks if it's painful and afraid of vampires. Yuki shakes her head and cries. In her heart, she cries that she have hurt Zero when she tore herself away after being assaulted (bitten) by him.

ahhh.. too long already la and i think i'm being a big big spoiler her by divulging so much info. LOL. the last chapter of the book is NOT TO BE MISSED la. something very important that Master Kaname tells his beloved Yuki! ah! xD so in loved with vampires. rawR! lol.

ah.. is my introduction captivating enough to entice u to know more about this series?
LOL. mu neighbours and I are like crazy over it.. i bought the 1st book while she has books 2 and 3. book 4 is not out yet, sadly. but apparently it can be downloaded online but its kinda bothersome la. So maybe if u want to read it... i can lend u! xD *yaya*

alright i've spent so long posting about it... but i cant forget to post about the long weekend!
the last sports day in AHS for me was pretty uneventful because GB didnt win any awards! argh! next year MUST do better. Hmmph!
After sports day, i had a wonderful outing with Yiting.. around bedok central.. we lunched at Long John Silver and then went around the 5-6 hp stores checking out Zhong Mou's calculator lookalike hp's price. the cheapest w/O line hp sells at $688 while hte most ex go up to $800! that why my friends. i say u must always go store hopping before buying hps! just see the price differenciation youself!
then i met my mum on the bus on the way to Cornerstone, to attend the Fire Conference Youth workshop.. the Jarred Davidoff is a seriously funny speaker! simoly entertaining.. he imitated Benny Hin, Reinhard Bonkke very well! haha.. but obviously his sermon points are the more important thing to take note about la. which is to evangelise to all.

then i left with the Cornerstone ppl for indoor stadium. for the night rally.. they're really very nice, warm and funny ppl too! x) God bless them!

That night, Van's mum bought supper and drove me home. On the way for supper, Yi ting (aka Bunneh) called asking me if she could join me tmr. I was more then happy to say yes! i asked practically al my close friends but not one could make it. x( and there she called, simply made my day! We really dont know how God works... but its great man to be able to go with a friend!

so the next day, we attended all the rallies together, we met Van and mum and aunt for lunch at macs who once again treated me (and bunneh as well!)! xD Thank you aunty! so we sat together for the youth rally as well. then we had 2 long hours to while before night rally begins.. we didnt eat dinner due to the really full lunch..

so me, van and bunneh played the Name Game, having to take turns to name names from a certain alphabet.. the one who cannot think of anymore names will be forfeited. then bunneh was made to go and sit near an indian man and attract his attention! hahha i have the evidences on picture! LOL and she didnt excactly made it cause he kinda looked uo only because me and van were laughing hysterically! LOL.

then we entered the indoor stadium and played the finger game and the losers will have to do dares. ahha and we did siily ones as well such as standing up to hug each other! we wanted to attract the attention of a guy sitting infront of us but apparently he only had eyes of the girl next to him. LOL!

then we got wee bit hungry and went out to look for food only to find out the 7-11 in indoor stadium sells hotdog burger for $5!!! what? might as well rob me.. so we didnt eat and just drank water. heh. and we went really wild during Praise and worship! Paul Bolache and team can lead praise and worship really well! i like the song "i will boast in my God alone" while Bunneh likes to "I'm trading my sorrows" song cos it has the "lalalalalala" part, Paul says this is Spore's song cause we always "la~ ok la~" LOL. ok~

haha then it was on sunday that i became addicted to Vampire Knight after Yingling introduced the book to me.. i wanted to study on Monday but ahwells, played the whole day away watching tv, reading. attempted a few like 5 a maths sums. ah~ pathetic.

oh! today's st john's and Ncc day. Ok happy day to all! hahaha

P.S/ i completed the class Board for 4A and im really proud of it. a pity i forgot to take pics of it...

oh i almost forgot... Ms Ang blew her top today at the 6 art students. She was really mad, disappointed that we are slow in handing up work (substantial work) and another uneventful matter was brought up which triggered her tears. Aye. Poor Ms Ang. its really not your fault! 90% art students have time management problem so its not your fault! its fault like me still online at 9pm. LOL. haven touched homework. yeas. No selfcontrol la. she said from today onwards she'll be around in school daily till 6pm cos since she cant assure we'll work at home, she'll watch us work in school.

ok why arnt other subject teachers as devoted as she is? thought i dont suggest them to be as sarcastic and emotional as she is la..

alright i'll keep on praying ang put my words and works into actions. its forming! its really forming! i just need to get it out of my brain! as in the idea and works of it all. im pretty excited about it. but then just thinking of all the work dreads me. aye.

ohya! before i leave. PE was FUN! today. a pity hannah couldnt join us in her SJAB U. we ran 5 rounds round field. did some silly knee bends then played BBall! like 1st time in 2 years?! LOL. fancy us havin superb A team players in class and not playing with them at all. haha. it was fun.

ok till then folks! Love ya and read your bibles!

My 16th birthday wishlist

2006-06-26T21:13:00.000+08:00

haha hi!

how was your 1st day of school?
mine was pretty ordinary and boring. *yawns*
Dr. Boon made all sec 4s go hall in the morning and talked a load of crap just so the cameraman could capture her speakin infront of us.

like WHAT?! so much for being genuinely concern.

then Ms Cheong came all serious, pleading and begging us to do well and its possible to get 10.7 agg for O levels. oh wells. they're trying to be encouraging.

thank goodness there's only 4 lessons today!
Social studies
nice Ms Teo chit-chatted with us about her ambition to be a SIA counter girl. LOL
Chinese
surprisingly we learnt a few new chinese characters in Chen Lao Shi's class. Let's hope it'll maintain... my chinese's really getting from bad to worse la
Chem
boring as per normal. but i told myself i've got to pay attention so i did learn a bit about polymers! like teflon, polyethene, diamine. haha boring techinal terms man!
A math
last lesson that put me to sleep la. ms lim came in all black like for some funeral sia. what a GOOD way to start my new term. she taught us about aye i cant remember the topic. got to do with differentiation one. lol. a lot of graphs. boring la. got homework some more leh! and i haven even start the holiday one la. and she's the only one to mention the holiday hw too. (i told jingwei she sure mention hw) she said we sure nvr check heymath, what very irresponsible, full of excuses... COME ON LA. i bet is the teachers want to slack so they use hey math one lor

stupid heymath!

haha alright i shall be more positive from now. dont wanna waste my breathe on silly things.
enjoyed Mrs Benjamin's english enrichment in the afternoon, as usual, she made jokes like with the sharks and crocodile. her lessons are always a mix of other subjects the other day was with geography, today is science. this is called interdisciplinary teaching/learning. its cool and i love it. why arent all teachers like her? sigh. and to think she's just an ENRICHMENT teacher la. oh sorry, im being depressing/grumbling again. lols

i went shopping for some essentials with mum. and she bought a pair of pink shoes for me! i love them! it has really comfortable leather inner soles and i love them! hahaha. xD but the design is a bit (stress abit) aunty. lol. there's this big flower on it. but nice la. whenever i go shopping with mum very gan chiong one. cos im scared she'll get angry for waiting too long. but then i dont like to shop in stress cos i need time to make decisions. but thank God, the stuff i bought today are suitable. hopefully, no wrong choices.x)

and another thing about going out with mum is that she'll blame me whenever she misplaces her stuff. the other time was her OG card. then this time round was her HP. i used her HP to call dad and then she thought i kept it. like for what la? aye.

i rarely go out with mum la. only like 2-3 times a year. this goes to show how little jia en shops for stuffs. lol. even though i go window shopping a lot i dont really buy stuffs when i do its for bday presents. haha.

but praise God cos some poor blokes dont even get to shop.

my bday's coming! haha. in like 3 weeks la.

but anyway i dont think ive ever made a birthday wish list. so here goes:
I wish
1/ For all my friends to know Jesus as their friend and love him.
2/ For matthew, serene, zhang qi to go and return from their overseas trip safely and be a blessing whereever they are.
3/ To be more hardworking, revising everyday.
4/ To read the bible and pray everyday (still irregular now)
5/ To finish all my homework on time
6/ that navyblue adidas swimsuit $49!
7/ swimming goggles
8/ wallet
9/ pencilcase
10/ big tote bag

i like brown, orange, purple.
xD

haha seriously i only wish for the top 6. more impt. the last 4 not important. haha. God has provided for my needs. Why shall i be in want? LOL.

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Footnotes:
Psalm 23:4 Or through the darkest valley

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

i love the bible. God's love lettler to me.
if ure reading this, pls tag! x)

2006-06-25T21:19:00.000+08:00

hello! its the last day of holiday!

and its a pretty sad weekend cos not only its the end of holidays (that i love so much) but its the weekend that i get to see my church friends till a long time!

jesslyn's going to australia to study university and her flights taking off in 15 min's time... take care! i pray she'll be safe and sound throughout her 3 years there. she said she'll be back in december though. xD

then there's serene, matthew and caleb who are all going for the Hillsong's conference at Australia too.. they're leaving this thursday at midnight and coming back only 2 weeks later! aye. must really keep my prayer partner in prayer. haha! serene said there'll be great speakers like Rick Warren!!! (writer of Purpose Driven life! how cool is that?!) and John Maxell... no wonder the tickets costs ~$200! i'd really like to go too, maybe when im older and earn my keep.. xD

so yes School's startin and i haven finished my homework! but ohwells. i'll do my best to finish them this week! haha!

yep GB 65th has her 1st POP! passing out parade! it was a dreadful parade cos of the rain and i dont like rehearsals =X but i enjoyed the "after parade" where we took pics, ate snacks!
aye i didnt join the Lao Das for lunch at Seoul garden.. cos i had to go home, unpack (my uniform and boots) before making my way to church for RADICAL conference!

Youth Alive is a truly hot band! haha passionate for christ, really talented and cute aussies!
love 'em! check out the pic i took with Matt Gullaci, the cute bassist! haha becky and ming are totally crazy over Him. LOL.

its really a radical conference, i love hearing Chris Long speakin man! he's a really funny but God-empowered speaker. Super interesting watchin him speak! xD

yea man! COS MP should organise such youth events too! God really did fufill the vision i saw when many youths crowd in our Chapel! may God greatly increase our numbers in YPM! xD

let's have a great time in school this week!

2006-06-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

Hello!

this is my second time writing the post cos i accidentally deleted it?!

haha. alright all the better so i can summarise the impt parts then u dont have to read so much right?

lately God has been speaking to me about how i can use the gifts and talents He has given me to glorify Him. And how i can be a good steward (meaning take care and manage what he has given to me).

so these are what jia en thinks she's good at:

talking: like MCing, speech, prayer, teaching (about bible sadly not really on sch subjects)
writing: letters to friends, funny comps that teachers may not appreciate, my feelings and things in this blog.
designing: i have a love for art. though im not good (meaning naturally gifted) at it.

and hmm. i dont speak to my friends enough about Jesus because i find it awkward to bring Him in in my conversations. but yes i'll pray about it! i hope to be able to talk to my friends about Jesus like how Paul preaches to the people around him! (read acts in the bible to know more about him)

lately ive been reading Acts for quiet time. and its a really good book! about the new churches , missonaries, preachers and how they are persecuted yet they still persevered. i want to be like the Paul, the big shots but i realised right now i have to be faithful with the small things first.

i will continue to use the gifts God has given me to serve Him in the way he planned it.

i really need to work harder for my school work!
haha so do think about what ur gifts and talents are and how you can serve God with them!

2006-06-21T23:46:00.001+08:00

hello there everyone!

im in a happy mood. praise God! hahaha.
why am i happy? it must be due to the joy in my heart. Cos Jesus loves me and my friends love me!

it could also be because i've settled the script for ahs founder's day rehearsal script. with thanks to gao fan my fellow partner. yay!

thank God im chosen to be MC for this years' founder's day. its an honour and my pleasure. =D

lately, God have been speaking to me about the gifts and talents he has given me and asking me how i'd use them for his glory. He's also been speaking to me about how i can live my life for him.

i dont know if my friends can tell me what im good at. i'm quite demanding of myself. or either i'm really not good at anything. =X

i have a hard time thinkin of what im quite good at when i had to answer the question "what are u already good at?" during the badgework during GB.

so even after the class i thought about what im good at. i think im good at talking. xD encouraging, teaching others. maybe someday i can try hosting programmes like xiao S. haha! i like designing. but i dont think im really gd at it. but really, i think thats where my passion lies. ART. but its a lot of work too! cos im not naturally gifted at it.

so i can glorify God by talkin to others about Him. i try to a lot but im not good at bringin Him in in my conversation with friends. i still find it awkward. ok i'll pray about it. and im already good at writing cards, letters for my friends. to encourage them, make them laugh. :)

but im really worried. cos i still have a lot to do for my ART. =X
really need to spend more time drawing. aye!

frankly speaking im have not starting revising my subjects. i've barely started homework. oh no! hahaha. thats why i always pray for discipline. that's what im weak at. aye.

God, i pray for a fruitful and productive day tmr (meaning i hope to be able to come up with my art layout and finish maths and chem hw). and i pray that tmr's rehearsal will be smooth! thank you for hearing my prayer. i love you Jesus! in Your name i pray, amen!

oh yea i think im good at praying too. xD yup, must thank God too that i just joined Benjamin cell grp, core grp as Prayer I/C. my jobscope is to intercede in prayer for Benjamin regularly, encourage Benjamites to pray and to attend Friday prayer meetings.

i believe in the awesome power of Prayer! the name of Jesus is powerful!

and oh i think im good at writing too? i like writing down my feelings. xD but sometimes it can be pretty messy when i dont plan. like today. ahha.

so let me summurise:

What jia en thinks she's good at:

Talking: including MCing, encouraging, praying, teaching (bible not really sch subject. LOL)

2006-06-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

oh man! i got so many things to blog about and its 12 already. =X

alright, i shall categorise what i'm going to blog about (and prepare you what's ahead as well :P) and time how long i take to type this post. x)

1st on the list, there's the outing with val chean (cool name eh? my ex tuition grp fren) and with yingling (my dearest neighbour!) last friday.
my thoughts about the movie.
then today's outing with bunneh, lorry, minky, margie, phy and me!
some interestin bits about lit.
and how JiaEn is really happy these days. (it must be the holiday mood)

initially val and i wanted to go sentosa so spend our morning before we met up with yingling at orchard but it RAINED. so instead of a sunny sunshine morning, we had a wet weather program going on in val's house. i was pretty fascinated with her girly room,(see the pics of pink room woth nice curtains above) so i took some time to settle down before we played a game of UNO then we got bored. so we ventured into the kitchen when val's dad came home from the market. i watched her squeeze fresh coconut milk (haha!) with plastic gloves and all. her dad bought coconut flesh grind up into small pieces, she mixed them with water and then she put the mixture in a piece of fabric and squeeze out all the milk leaving the flesh behind. the picture of the bowl in the flashloop shows the coconut milk she squeezed.

then i watched her dad cook meat with dark sauce with wine (oooh tastes yummy!) and a plate of veg (with msg. hahaha) and the pot that's cookin you see in the pic contains mutton meat that uncle is going to cook mutton curry with!

so after a nice lunch me and val went to TM to shop around, we bought tom yam soup and prawn fritters, we walked around somemore then we ate onion rings and drank coke at Burger king before we took a longgg rest at the NURSERY ROOM at Century Square. its beside the second floor toilet. (see the pics with green tiles background) and we became very obsessed with taking self pics. haha! never did such lame stuff before. do i look like a baby on the table meant for babies? LOL!

finally it was 5.30 pm when yingling came, we walked around somemore, went to ntuc, they got some stuff and complained that i was crazy. =( then they bought the japanese sotong balls. (suddenly forgot what u call them) and then we spent a gd 15 min just lookin at the chef do those balls. fasinating! i bet many girls want him to be their husband. imagine! all those free, nice, piping hot japanese balls for the rest of your life. yummy. =D

then we watched THE OMEN! ok ok fine i know i said i wont spent my money on such a show... but well i changed my mind apparently and i think its a good show!

its blasphemeus (if i didnt spell wrongly) which means that its rubbish as to how they interpreted the bible saying the little boy Damien is devil's reincarnate. i sincerely hope no one believes the Devil comes to earth thru this little boy. i mean come on la i think he's probably chose a hot looking hunk to possess right? LOL. kidding. but seriously, he's been around since His fall (from angel position) does he need to take human form?!! He doesnt la! he can just manipulate them (if they allow him to that is)

so the bottomline is Dont mess with the spirits yea? if u really have the urge to mess with spirits that's only one kind to trust and that's the HOLY SPIRIT. my good friend. the other spirits brings harm, but this guy is Jesus's helper he guides, comforts, and teaches you. great guy!

then today... got up at 7?! so i could met bunneh and cow (haha did u think i was gg to the zoo? lol. yiting n min qi are the real names) at bedok. hannah fell sick (poor girl, must be too tired from sjab stuff) so she couldnt join us at the lit seminar at RELC (at orange grove, at orchard) we were supposed to meet yi jia too but she was very late la. bad girl. haha.

even tho we reached orchard (by train) at like 8.50 we managed to reach RELC at 9.05. the taxi man took only like 5 min! whee! and we paid $3.90 cab fare in total. cow was very happy she was so estatic and said optimism helps. yea! xD

ok so the speaker Dr Chris Hamilton was funny. haha. but i shan go into too much details cos its all lit. anyway here's an interestin fact for you. General knowledge.

William Butler Yeats is an Irish Political Poet. He wrote the poem Leda and the Swan which represents Ireland and England respectively. the poem is about the Swan(a mythical figure ) raping Leda and its pretty well explicite.(in my opinion). Leda (who's raped) dont seem to resist. which is why Yeats wrote this poem to proclaim the atrocities as the Irish are so apathic toward's England's colonalism. He feels the Irish has betrayed the Motherland by complying with the England. cool eh? He can actually link colonalism with rape?!

quote worthy:
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire" William Butler Yeats.

go figure it.

So yea, that's what Lit students learn. Dont think that Lit is not relevant to modern society or that it cant benefit mankind k?! cos lit teaches students how to be more humane(that is how to be more understanding, loving, patience, but its up to u whether you chose to be la) how to look at things with different perspectives how to appreciate language and many more!! so unless you're a lit student, i dont expect you to criticise my favourite subject. and also, lit teaches you how to criticise! x)

alright. so then after the 2 talks (one on Touched with Fire, the other on An Enemy of the People) we left and got to Taka for Yoshinoya lunch! somehow, i was just very happy to eat the student meal. $4 only!! and they had this really nice potato snack which i thought tasted like twister fries but lor says its less crispy. but still i like it! xD and somehow the sweet drinks tasted especially sweet la.

then we walked to Far East Plaza which is HUGE man. i doubt u can finish walking in a day lorh. and i bought this really nice bracelet for $4! (see the similarity?) haha and im still very happy about it. hahha... xD

ok Thank God cos i think he really answered my prayer to be easily contented! i shall learn to be contented with life simple pleasures! xD so happy.

Job 36:11If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

I will obey and serve my goody God always! yippee!

ok i took like an hr la! its 1!!! man! but i mutitask-ded cos of msn... yea..

2006-06-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

Did a Super IQ test at www.tickle.com. it comprises of 56 questions ranging from maths problem sums, image tests and even vocab!

glad to post my results up here. i think it had boosted my confidence that you know, doing badly in MOE education system does not equate that you're stupid. heheh.

Teo, your IQ score is 131
The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to others you also have a very rich imagination.

well, i like the last sentence of having rich imagination. xD alright! off to do another test. heheh.

2006-06-06T18:05:00.000+08:00

I hope these pics till inspire you for a better tmr!

hello! today i had a great time on the net.
i chatted with eliesha my old friend who has migrated to new zealand 3 years ago. isnt technology just amazing? that we can talk through msn though we are miles apart.. Thank God for technology!

then i talked to bunneh about japanese eating babies. let me tell you its simply GROSS. bish those psychos who got nothing better to do then to resort to cannibalism when food abounds everywhere! i received an email which showed gruesome pictures of japanese disecting babies to eat and eating them head and bones and all! yucks yucks yucks! must pray that those people come to their senses! i mean, they're not in poverty or what, why must they be so cruel? inhumane!

then i almost choked during my lunch when i ate some chicken meat cos i was reminded of those horrendous pictures. sigh. those poor babies. if you would like to witness those horrifying pictures, i reckon you'd find them on the net. if not, just tag if you'd like me to send u the mail.

if i continue thinking of those pics i might turn to being a vegetarian. sigh.

oh today is the supposed demon day 060606! the day the movie The Omen is released worldwide. dione actually asked me if i'd like to watch it with her. wah when did she become so daring? haha... but really, i dont want to waste my money on a show about a child who's supposedly demon's child. i have enough nightmares already.

talking about nightmares. no my nightmares aint got anything to do with ghosts but smthing much more hideous. that is being RETAINED. oh man what can be worse than that? then my friend actually consoled me saying that schools dont retain sec 4s. worse come to worse, i retake Os as a private student. OH MAN. i dont want anything like that!

did i ever posted here that my father dreamt i got 9 A1s for Os? why is my dream the total opposite of it? is God trying to put fear in my heart so that i may work harder? lol. i think it;ll work. whenever i think of the scene of Dr Boon telling my parents im retained, it just sends shudders down my spine. and my heart aches yet i cant cry. ouch.

so well, today i searched getty images and yahoo for pics for my art olvl coursework and ive got 10 pics. actually 11 but i accidentally deleted one. theres pics of guitarist, dancers and singers. i still need sports players. and really cool looking ones to be exact. when ever you need smthing, its always harder to find it.

so well, please support me in prayer that i'll be diligent and draw the pictures i found.
you dont know how glad i am that its holidays. Thank God for holidays!

quote of the day:
"Dreams will never come true without action, perseverance and unceasing prayers."

jiaen - sixteen year-old girl still working towards her dream to finish O levels with pride.

2006-05-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

haha! im BACK.

and i watched OVER THE HEDGE!!!!

on wednesday evening with hannah and lorry.
we all love the baby hedgehogs. they're terribly cute!
the part when they drove the car by running on the steering wheel like running on the tread mill. HAHA!

lorry and i think its the animated, cuter, lovelier version of MI3.
you just got to watch it!
i laughed and smiled and loved every moment of the show.
its worth every cent and more. x)

i think i wont mind watchin it again if i have the spare cash. haha! its THAT good!

haha and i played a lot of reversi in school lately with justin, ah mao and bunneh. bunneh's the PRO man trashed everyone she played with.

mum came to sch for PTC. not as if my results will improve by a mere conversation with two women. aye.i need a miracle.

dont we all need one?

must thank God for an enjoyable week! prayer always helps. i prayed more this week than last week and i feel so much better emotionally and spiritually. happier and happier! HAHA! xD

2006-05-22T23:20:00.000+08:00

hey! wonder if anyone comes here anyway.
but if there is, sorry ive not posted for such a long time!
let me explain why.
the only machine accessible to the internet in my house is this particular laptop that i'm using now and its not a good idea at all because laptop being portable, my sis will use it in her room and because my house dont have wireless connection, i have to go through the trouble of reconnecting lots of wires, plugs(in the living room) before i can go online. So much for the conveniece of technology.

are u thinking of what to expect from jiaen's post today?
how did she fare for mid years?
how's she been so far?
does she still love jesus?

ok, ok i think you're(except for christians like tai yong) more interested in the first two questions right? but today i'll be basically answering the top three ques. :)

ready or not, here i go!

i did BADLY, HORRENDOUSLY, DISAPPOINTINGLY, SADLY, UPSETINGLY, REVOLTING
all the negative, terrible, horrible words you can possible think of in the Oxford dictionary (or any dictionary for that matter, but no vulgarities please, this is a clean and healthy website! :)) yea... cos its really really below my expectations? although my l1r5 may not past 30 but maybe 25 which will not get me into any decent JC, not to say my dream JC, VJC. awww...

why the disappointing results?
hmm... undeniably, it has to be insufficient hardwork put in here. (or maybe my brain doesnt tick the right way, my hands cant write the right words or my eyes are blurred and cant see the questions?) hahaha... but i just cant fathom WHY the GUYS (like ganda and justin siau in my class) can do so well (get A2 for Bio when i get b3) when they're practically infront of the com all day. it has to be some special formula or practice that i shall attempt to squeeze out of them! heheheh. but seriously, i guess i have to master the SMART way of studying. and STOP mugging at the LAST minute.

the second reason i presume it has to be due to me NOT putting God first. (yes its true but you cant believe it? heh.) matthew 6:33 says Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be given unto you as well. ' All these things' refers to ambition, dreams, goals, purpose, happiness, joy (basically all that you hope for, sucess, fantasy (well maybe not)) but when you've come to know the Lord in a deeper degree, your dreams wont just be your selfish, pathetic (sorry but if it's your dream to be the most beautiful or handsome being on earth) dreams but rather, it would be more God centred dream like " i hope to glorify God with what i do. so when my friends ask how i did it, i'd say "God helped me!"" get it? :D

so yea. i'm still learning how to put God first in my life consistently, by not nodding off to sleep when i'm praying and by putting some time aside each day to read the BIBLE. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)

now on to the second pressing question (how have i been?)

fine! excellent! hahaha.. on saturday(the 13th) after my art exam serene treated me and ming to a japanese style lunch at a japanese restaurant at siglap i think it's call Edon. it has cool(this is subjective la), abstract jap artworks on the walls and over helpful waitress (3 different waitress asked what drink we'd like)

i had codfish with terriyaki sauce set meal, with rice, miso soup and pickled radish and a mango dessert (which tasted rather weird) but the rest were really nice. Ming had salmon in a buttery, gingerful sauce. not bad but i think mine tasted better. HEh. ;D serene had raw salmon which was good! ( i tried it)

then 4A had an outrageous outing at sentosa on monday (the 15th). wonderful! some girls stayed on the sand as they preferred to stay dry while some of us splash and sploshed in the water. we swam at palawan beach and we actually swam over to the smaller island connected by the bridge! thanks to justin who's a certified lifeguard and thus gave us the guts cos if we fainted or drowned, he can save us. haha! me, hannah, loretta and valerie dug a deep hole to build a sauna-like seat. when the sea water runs, the sodium creates foam which is kinda disgustin but well, a smooth feeling on the skin. HAHA. well its better that you dont think of the billions of microrganisms in every milicubic of seawater. we the kutzy girls also sun tanned under the sun but it proved to be a terrible thing to do cos they suffered aches on their shoulders and backs the next day but thankfully i didnt! then when amelia and huiying joined us, the guys and girls in the water played "marco polo "(as according to valerie) LOL. i think its supposed to be water polo but we didn't play that la, we merely played captain ball in the water. justin siau is siao la. you simply cant snatch the ball from him cos all you'd get is mouthful of seawater teemin with billons of organisms and no ball. which is what i experienced.

after we washed up we had snack attack at 7-eleven (newly set up) which is a really cool place with seats and tables to enjoy many instant snacks! go there if you're in sentosa! after that we went home and i reached home at 5+, going 6. all exhausted but really really happy after a day's of soaking up the sun, sea and sand. x)

other than these two significant event, there was the movie outing with jingwei n lorry,we watched MI3 which in my opinion is a NOT TO BE missed movie! packed full with actions, people running from country to country and destroying many infrastructure plus the wonderful, intricate plot which makes you think how the brains of those story writers tick... yep, i truly enjoyed the movie. woo!

and i read a whole lot of Horrible books. no, the books aint boring or horrendous, but they belong to this Horrible series of books about science, history, math, inventors, dead famous people facts written in a very enjoyable manner (like mine ;P) with jokes and comics on every page that makes learning facts so fun! and i've spread trend of reading of these books to Liwen and soon to yining and hahaha hopefully everyone! (next i shall attempt to spread the reading of bibles. heheheh)

alright, its running late.. lets talk or rather let me talk about how my love for jesus is. (oh that sounds so mushy. yuck)
it was really pretty bad during exams. i didnt know how i'd perform and i'd cramp all the notes till the wee hours of the night, didnt do devotion (reading bible). oh it was bad. so stressed.

now its better, cos i know Jesus still loves me (awww...) even though im a really bad girl (maybe you'll have a hard time believing that). and so i'll do my best to love him back by spending more time with him in prayer and by helping my friends, siblings, parents because of his love. praying for them, being nice and not retorting them rudely or driving them nuts. its much like spreading the love you know? to make the world a better place. x)

lets all make earth a better place, share God' s love to everyone. (just ask from Him and he'll give it FOC! no joke!)

2006-04-15T10:43:00.000+08:00

hihi! ok i've not posted for a long time because i don't really like coming online.

alright. this week was quite relaxing. i skipped school on tuesday because i had a headache. i didnt sleep well since last thursday cos i slept late and had dreams. so i slept a lot on tuesday. say im Slacking if you like.

it was good friday yesterday. i only revise for my bio test on monday and did nothing productive otherwise. watched bits and pieces of pirate of the caribbean cos my sis wanted to watch other shows.

exams are in 16 days time i think. starts on 3rd may. =X

gotta work doubly triply hard cos there's a mission trip to m'sia late may and if i want to go i gotta have the results or i wont enjoy it. yea... so pray extra hard for me! x)

loving Jesus everyday of my life. and all my friends out there too!